Mine
by Klbblk
Summary: The dark lord has everything but the one person who made him feel things he never thought possible. The sequel to 'His'.
1. Mine

This is a SEQUEL if you have not done so please read the first part 'His'.

This is written slightly differently to 'His', it shows two points of view rather than just Hermione's.

The ... means the POV has changed I might add, enjoy!

_How you turned my world, you precious thing  
You starve and near exhaust me_  
-Labyrinth 'Within you'

...

_4 months later_

Voldemort's POV

I have everything. The world is mine, everyone bows down to me. Just what I always wanted, power.

My inner circle all got their own countries to rule-but of course under my watch, I just don't have the time to look after such individual problems.

But one thing is missing, it is her. She escaped my grip, so stupid and careless. I want her back, not just for the reason that she's mine but because of something else. I can almost hear my ancestors saying it, 'How pathetic that the dark lord misses a girl, a muggleborn Gryffindor slave?' She is so much more than that though.

The first time in my life I was stumped, I had found the Potter boy easily but I couldn't find her. I didn't kill him, he was faced with a lifetime or slavery and torture-death was too simple. The rest of the order was either faced with the same fate or thrown into Azkaban, a selected few were executed.

why did she leave? She told me she wouldn't that same day she did. She told me she loved me, I knew it was true but she also told me she hated what I do, I won't _ever_ change that. I don't care what she feels like, I _will_ find her and she will serve me.

I sat alone in my study, reading up the countries leaders reports; everything was running smoothly I smirked. I looked up at the sound of a knock on the door and opened it with a wave of my hand, Severus stood in the doorway.

"Milord", he acknowledged respectively, he was my best follower, the closest person to me other than Hermione-you could almost call him a friend, almost.

"Severus, you have news?"

"Yes milord, the approximate whereabouts of miss Grange-erm Mrs Riddle have been found", I had everyone get into the habit of calling her that. She wasn't Granger anymore, she was mine-no matter how much I hated the name, "she's been sighted the south of France as you originally thought. I just came to confirm this", I smirked, she's just in my grasp.

"Thank you, you have done well. I want her back to me as soon as possible, I don't want people thinking she has left, everyone must 'know' she is here with me. When she is back here, I am going to punish her so much she will never think to leave again, she is my slave, my wife and I will have her back", I told him what he already knew. I had made him minister of magic, under my orders of course. He aso had an unexpected taste for woman-I never realised he had interest in anything like that but he opened up a brothel, filled with so many witches of all ages who had nowhere else to go.  
I could go in and use as many woman as I liked at no cost, so many beautiful ones but none compared to Hermione.  
"You are dismissed"

"Yes milord", he bowed and left through the door.

I leaned back on my chair and looked at a photo frame on my desk, me and Hermione on our wedding day; we both looked so good.

I feel empty, maybe it's because part of my soul is bound into her and it was far away from me, maybe I missed her.  
How did it come to be like this? She was just a slave! Supposed to help me win the war, but I won the war alone. Even if she hadn't of killed Dumbledore Draco would of so I would still be here but instead she would be here as well. What is happening to me! I have fallen for a girl, I've had many girls in my bed but never have I had anything more than lust for any of them!

She is going to pay for that.

...

Hermione's POV

I lay back on the sandy beach in the summer sun, the warm waves washing up against my legs as I read a book. This was my relaxation part of the day, without it I would go mad. Every day I did my routine of getting food, checking I was well hidden, practising random magic and read up on updates of the world. That was my life.

I was lucky I can't die, if I could I would have only a few days ago when I drowned. A simple swim until my foot got caught on something, nothing is worse than the weight of water crushing against your body, no air in your lungs but you still don't die. I got out by performing a spell to throw me back onto the beach, I knew I had to be more careful, after everything I almost forgot about natures own dangers.

He hadn't told the world of my disappearance, I read the Daily Prophet everyday and not even a sniff of it-something major like the dark lords wife escaping would be front page if he announced it. Obviously he didn't want people to think he was weak, like anyone would ever think that anyway.

I always wore a glamour charm, every day I changed my appearance so no one would get suspicious of me, especially when deatheaters travelled through the village I stayed in, which was quite rare.  
Today I am just a 17 year old blonde haired beauty-the charm was random but I always got lucky. The charm covered up my marks but not my ring, typical marriage magic.

I thought at first he would take away my magic-he had the power to do it but he never did. Who knew why, he probably thought I would return to him, I couldn't, I loved him but I hated his work, I didn't want to delve anymore into the darkness I had already entered.

I worked out if I had of stayed pregnant I would be giving birth around this time, wow imagine being a mum! I didn't regret Dumbledore's death but it made me sad that one of the greatest wizards of all time could be so cruel to me, I trusted him and he didn't help me. I read about the orders capture, apparently there was a public execution of a few, some were locked away and others…who knows? Harry was captured within weeks of Voldemort's rise to capture, I always thought he would last longer but he was foolish to think he could outrun him. Am I foolish? I have survived 4 months; maybe I'm just more clever.  
Hogwarts stayed open, but they were taught all new subjects including the dark arts, it was open to anyone of any blood type but there were no 4 houses. Just Pureblood, half-blood and muggleborn, I pity the muggleborns, it would be me there if I wasn't here. I heard they were faced with a hard life at school.

The muggles weren't rounded up like I expected they would be. They lived there normal lives but they were all 'servants' to the wizards, it was like back in the 1600's, they were farmers and maids. Their lives were to keep themselves alive. The village I lived in was a muggle one, but because there were so few of them and nowhere near anyone they didn't have to do all that.

I didn't really know the true state the world lay in, luck was with me and I did land in a place the deatheaters didn't bother taking over, it's such a small place there's no point. I have no idea how everyone is, how life truly is like, the daily prophet is controlled by Voldemort so obviously it wouldn't report the truth.

I couldn't do a thing about it, so I just stayed lying in the sand. Daydreaming about better times.

All of a sudden I felt something pointing in my neck, I looked up but the sun was in my eyes, I could see the silhouette of a big man though.

"What the?", I said confused

"You'll be perfect! I'm going to get a lot for you", he said in a rough voice, with no warning he pulled me up into his arms tightly, his wand digging deep into my neck.

"Get off of me!", I screamed,

"Oh I don't think so", he sniggered, just when I was about to crucio him I was hit with a stunning spell.

I awoke in a daze on a cold floor, I fluttered my eyes as I moaned from my aching body and looked around.

"Good morning my sweet", a toothy grinned deatheater said with a grin above me, I pulled myself up and pushed myself back away from him, "No escape my dear"

"Where the fuck am I and who are you!"

"I just 'look after' the girls here. You're in the biggest brothel in the world, some bloke brought you in, said he found you in France so he just picked you up-he was paid a lot for you, we haven't got many that look as good as you". I stood up quickly in shock, after all this time I've been captured! But not by Voldemort, no, now im going to be forced to be a slave to whatever man pays for me! I cried in frustration and disbelief.  
"As im your boss for now, you're going to make a lot of money for me, I won't touch you-I don't touch products I can sell"

"You're a bastard", I snarled

"I'll let you off this once but you will address me as sir in future", I didn't want this but if I refused too much higher people may get involved, that could possibly lead to Voldemort-unlikely but I wouldn't risk being the only girl to ever escape! For now I was safe from Voldemort.

"Ok sir", I grumbled,

"You will be supplied with garments for each customer-depending on the price paid but I'm going to make sure you are an expensive one, you can get me a few extra galleons. You're married aren't you? Pity your husband's going to miss you! The ring wouldn't come off, I don't care who you're married to even though you seem a bit young. If anyone asks about it tell them your husband was killed so you were brought here, understood?"

"Yes sir", I moaned

"Good, I already have a booking for you tonight"

That was the start of my new life as yet another slave. I was surprised no one had figured out who I was but my glamour charm held because I was quite powerful, I had created a new glamour that lasted as long as I concentrated. I didn't try to escape because no one had ever escaped, if I did there would be an investigation. I didn't need that.

So I accepted the pitiful life and just got on with it.

Everyday I had at least one wizard come to my room, fuck me, and then leave. I felt so used and disgusting but I blocked it out of my mind, I pretended in my head that each man was Voldemort, I missed his touch but I just couldn't return to that life. Even though it was better than my current one, I didn't harm other people, that's what I hated doing, no matter what anyone said I disagreed with Voldemort's goals. So many times though I just wanted to crucio the bastard on top of me but I resisted.

I sat alone in just a ripped black dress on my bed reading-I had requested books to keep me occupied which I was allowed, apparently I brought such good business that they preferred me happy than moody. The guy who I had to call sir stood in the doorway and looked down at me.

"So Zoë", he mumbled the name I told him was mine, "You have a customer tonight-if you fail to perform this wizard will probably kill you"

"What do you mean"

" Let's just say he tends to kill those he's finished with unless he's in good mood, be on your best behaviour I can't afford to lose the money!"

"Why didn't you just turn him down if you were so worried? It doesn't matter to me really", well it didn't, I can't die-but he doesn't need to know that.

"This wizard you can't refuse, you will wear the finest tonight. Good day", he finished and walked out after throwing a tiny bundle on the bed. I wonder who it would be. I bet its some high up deatheater-good, I feel like torturing someone even if I do get in trouble.

I slipped on the miniature garments, purple satin and black lace, they were such good quality and were so soft against my skin, I had also been given a thin matching robe to cover myself up for now. I was used to being dressed and ready to be abused for an hour by now but tonight for some reason inside I was scared. I had been in this room for maybe a month and I was actually scared for the first time! I found it strange I wasn't mixed with other girls because I knew all the others did, maybe it was because I got so many men there just wasn't enough time to make friends, I didn't have any. I remember Neville and Luna, they were good friends, and they still are if they trust me, but that's unlikely.

Why was I so scared? I didn't get it, deep inside I was shaking. My blonde hair fell straight down my back and my lips were red and pouty-I was supposed to do my best to get the wizard to tip extra, the hotter I looked the better basically.  
I sat back down and read my book about werewolves, it was interesting but it didn't have anything I didn't already know. Darkness fell quickly and soon there was a polite knock at the door followed by it opening. I bowed my head waiting to be told what to do, I saw the bottom of a deep black cloak over robes circle me slowly. He clicked his finger so I took it to mean look up, I saw he was hooded so I couldn't see his face but I felt his eyes on me.

"Do you know who I am?", he hissed, my heart skipped as a beat as I realised.

"You are the dark lord", I whispered, I can't believe he is here. So long I've been hidden and now im in the same room about to have him fuck me without him realising.

"You are bright, but that doesn't matter. Word has spread that you are the best this place has to offer, I have been with many here so I am going to try you out and see how good you really are. If you live up to the standard I expect I will let you live, if you don't I think an Avada Kedavra should be in order", I saw his lips turn into a smirk. "Remove your clothes; I have no time for dawdling with a whore". I quickly obliged, I hoped to Merlin he wouldn't recognise me, as my bra fell to the floor he raised his hand so I stopped.

I didn't have a birthmark or something he recognises do I? He edged closer while pulling away his hood, I wanted to kiss him, and he hadn't changed in appearance at all. He reached out his hand, for a second I thought he was going to hit me but he didn't, he took my hand and looked at my ring. No one had ever noticed it, oh no…he's going to recognise it.  
"Where did you get this?", he said almost silently

"I was married before I was brought here, my erm husband died, I don't know what happened to him", I lied quickly wile shaking, I had practised occlumency so I was getting good at it. "It's not worth anything, just a cheap copy of a popular design..."

"Why do you shake? Is there something that's making you nervous?", he said, gripping my hand tightly

"N-no, you are just the most powerful wizard in the world, it's hard not to be slightly nervous", I muttered, I was putting on a good act but he seemed to be buying it. He released my hand and pushed me onto the bed.  
He was rough, very rough, there wasn't any kindness in his actions. With me he was rough anyway but here he just did it and got up without a word. I felt so used, he didn't know who I was so treated me like dirt.

"I was quite surprised you didn't scream like the others"

"There is no need. Scream is just sound, it has no power behind it, it wouldn't stop you would it?", I said but quickly shut up.

"Your right, it wouldn't. At least you have a brain...what was your name again?", he asked while dressing himself with his wand.

"Zoë, Zoë Occult", I said hastily, he nodded and left for the door.

"I'll be seeing you again then Mrs Occult", his eyes flickered to my ring and he was gone.

I let out a deep breath and fell back onto the bed.  
He's going to be back and I'm still a slave of his, the irony.


	2. Heartbreak

_Your'e so consumed with how much you get  
You waste your time with hate and regret  
Your'e broken  
When your hearts not open  
-Frozen, Madonna  
_

...

Voldemort's POV

I lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling, it had grown cold since Hermione left, not the warmth of her body by my side. She will hurt for the hurt she brought the dark lord, the impossible hurt I never thought I could ever feel.

My thoughts landed on the Occult girl, she was just like Hermione but without the passion, she obviously didn't want to be there. She reminded me of Hermione after she gave in fighting me, not that responsive but still so good. I must go back to see her again, Zoë was her name; yes…she would be useful until Hermione returns…  
She was married though, her husband couldn't have died or the ring would of fell off, she didn't know or she lied. Her ring was so similar to my own, but it was just a basic replica of my own, a cheap copy like she said, I grew curious about her husband. I will find out who this man she married is.

The next morning curiosity got the better of me so I searched for the name. A busy man such as me always made time for personal matters; the world wasn't exactly going to explode if I wasn't always watching it.  
Nothing. From wizarding records the surname didn't exist. No one named Zoë Occult existed, I didn't mishear her so what could this mean? Of course she lied, I admire her attempt to rebel against me but that sort of thing didn't go unpunished…

That would be amusing, to see her face as I returned so soon, just the next morning. I didn't even say anything to her current boss; he just let me through-as he should but I heard him mutter something about 'sleeping'.  
He was correct, when I entered her small room she was curled up on her bed blissfully asleep, still naked from last night, her only warmth was a thin sheet. I didn't feel pity, most were like that these days, some in much worse condition than her, I raised my wand with a smirk. She awoke with tortured screams as I crucioed her for several minutes, she was shaking and tears were streaming down her face, just how I liked my witches. I slowly lifted the curse leaving her shaking and sobbing, but she didn't seem weak strangely.  
"What have I done now!" she cried with her eyes closed, still unaware who had inflicted the curse.

"I assure you that you know full well, lies don't go unpunished as you also know full well", I hissed as she opened her eyes quickly, full of shock and fear. She quickly pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes of tears, I noticed they didn't look like she had been crying.

"I don't actually _milord_, if you do why don't you enlighten me?", she said boldly and angrily, I was slightly taken aback by her courage, maybe she was a Gryffindor.

"Your name is not Zoë is it?"

"I don't understand milord", she said simply with a look of confusion across her face.

"Your name doesn't exist, so tell me, how is that?"

"I don't quite understand milord, I was married to a man whose last name was Occult"

"You mean to say he was a muggle?"

"No, er yes"

"So what is it, yes or no?"

"Yes he was a muggle", she quickly lied, I could see right through her.

"My dear, you should not lie to lord Voldemort"

"It doesn't matter what my name is", she said hastily while getting up, attempting to cover herself with the sheet.

"Ye it does, no one lies to me. Your attempts to cover yourself have left me amused though I must say", she blushed making me smirk, "let me see your ring"

"No"

"No? you are obviously not that bright, no one refuses the dark lord"

"You mean no one has refused you, I will show you my ring the day you declare peace and freedom for everyone, as that's not likely to happen, it's not likely you're going to see my ring", she stated, I couldn't believe my ears, the whore was testing _me_! I grabbed her hair tight and pulled her against me, I heard her whimper but it just made me laugh! "You're the dark lord, how comes you haven't already looked into my mind?" I saw a slight smirk across her lips and that's when I realised she was using occlumency against me.

"You're bordering on being killed"

"Do what you like, im sick of this place and you! Go and move onto the next slut after you've done with me, I can't believe all the dark lord thinks about is fucking his way through his kingdom!", she sneered.

"I've had enough of you my dear, you are lucky you've lasted so long…Avada Kedavra!"

...

Hermione's POV

I saw a green light come my way, it was unavoidable as it hit me straight in the chest, I hit the back of the wall with so much force and my legs collapsed beneath me.

I should be dead.

I didn't die. Instead I was crumpled on the cold floor in more pain than I've ever felt, so much pain it was like I was dying but I wouldn't. I slowly but steadily stood up while leaning against the wall for support. The pain was unbearable and wouldn't go at all, I couldn't see anything as I collapsed to the floor again, all I saw was black dragon skin boots come towards me and I knew no more.

...

I turned towards the door as I heard her body hit the wall, such a waste.

I looked back over my shoulder as a gasp of breath behind me could be heard; I was frozen to the spot seeing the impossible happen before me.  
The girl I had just killed wasn't dead. Obviously weak, nevertheless she tried to push herself up. Hundreds of questions filled my head, how did she survive? Only Potter has ever survived an Avada Kedavra and that caused my downfall, but here I was, as powerful as ever and she was alive. I watched in amazement as she tried to breath, holding herself but unable to stand any longer, and then she fell.

I got closer, that's when I noticed she was changing. Her blue eyes were no longer blue but brown as they closed, her hair was growing darker. I turned her onto her back with my boot. My heart leapt as her features changed her into Hermione.  
_My_ Hermione in a brothel. Did she really prefer this than me? Though she was in pain it made me even more angry, physical torture was nothing to her anymore it seemed.

How did I not see it earlier, her attitude for one thing. She couldn't die but it had drained the strength out of her, her skin was pale and her lips were slightly parted as if trying to scream.

I didn't know what to feel; happiness I had finally found her or disgust and anger at what she had been doing. I killed the man who was apparently in charge of her, I even killed a few girls out of frustration before apparating her and myself back home.

Finally I have her. She is once again mine. Back where she belongs.

I had her healed; she was sick because of her exposure to death but unable to fall into it. She was unconscious for just under a week; I didn't have to heal her but her recovery would have been so much longer, now I didn't owe her anything after she helped me. Now I could start my revenge, I had already decided, simple torture was pointless, no she need something more fitting-she was a slave after all. I had a house elf to come to me straight away when she awoke which made it easier for me, I wanted to be the first person to see her.

There she was standing by the window, gazing at the last few days of summer.

...

I woke aching and sore, what happened to me? The bastards weren't allowed to damage me! That's when I realised how soft the bed I was in was, my bed is hard and stiff, and this one is letting me sink right into it! I pushed myself up while noticing the covers, so similar…no, no, no! I looked up and almost fainted, I was in Voldemort's chambers, it came back to me, everything. The pain I felt when he killed-well tried to kill me, the feel of my back being smashed into a wall and then my legs being crushed by my body. Torture.  
A small house elf appeared and handed me a robe, "Morning miss! We is all glad miss back! Master has been not himself. Not anymore now miss return!", he said smiling widely, I returned the smile politely.

"Erm, thank you for healing me I guess"

"It wasn't Dilly, it was healers miss. Master asked Dilly to feed miss when she awakens and to give you robes", it added before disaparating, leaving a deep green robe and a tray of food. I knew better to think the food was tampered with, Voldemort wasn't going to poison me so I ate the filling breakfast hungrily, I had been near starved in the brothel.  
After I got up and looked down at myself in the green robe, I wore nothing underneath, it seemed Voldemort hadn't given the house elf orders to let me wear clothes when I was unconscious, still the same old dark lord.

How did I end up like this? I was free-well as near as but ended up in that disgusting place, now im back here, it was like all I did was for nothing. I still love him, eurgh! Why do I feel like this? I wondered on those thoughts as I admired the view through the window, it looked so beautiful the grounds, it was such a shame the beauty didn't go any further than the grounds.

"After all that you are still beautiful", his hissed in my ear, putting his arms around my waist, "you left"

"Im back now so it doesn't really matter", I whispered

"No it doesn't, all that matters is you're here", he breathed, I turned around in surprise, surely he wasn't so ok with me leaving? "I had to leave, I don't want to be a part of your new world", he didn't reply but kissed me deeply.

...

I have her. More than anything I have her believing she's in the clear, I was loving and affectionate that morning, I even made love to her, something I didn't see a point in when I could just fuck her senseless. But this way she trusted me, I needed that to break her heart. I hate her for leaving, and I've promised myself she will pay.

I smirked to myself when she fell asleep in my arms around midday, clearly exhausted from our antics.  
"If I was you I wouldn't wake up"  
But she did, I sat opposite the bed staring at her as stirred with a smile. I saw her feel around for me but when she realised I wasn't there she sat up, the sheets falling to expose her breasts nicely, unaware I was watching her. I savoured these moments.

"Are you going to get up or are you going to sleep all day?", I said making her jump, she looked over and smiled at me, "Well are you?"

"I'm getting up", she replied happily, getting out of the bed and pulling on the green robe. She came over and sat next to me on the sofa, "What's wrong Tom?", she asked curiously.

"Don't call me that name, you will refer to me as milord, master or sir", I replied coldly not looking at her

"What's going on?",

"I'll tell you what's going on. You are a slave and haven't worked like one, I told you I needed you to win the war-which you did. The prophecy remember? Once everything on the prophecy was completed I would win the war, you had to love me to make it happen, I must say I did well to get you to", I sniggered, her eyes filled with disbelief

"You're joking right?"

"I never joke, you seem to forget who I am and what I can and have done. I don't love you, I never did, I had to make you believe it and you did, you fell hopelessly in love. You really think I could feel that emotion? You are obviously even more pathetic than I ever thought", I sneered

"It's not true, you married me…we were happy. You can't say that...I love you!"

"I know and that's what makes this so much more…sweeter. You see, when you left you made me quite angry but once I found you I knew I could finally punish you, then I found you in a brothel of all places! I've done so much for you! Things I have done for no one else. Did you really prefer that place to here?"

"No! Every day I wanted to be back here, I hated that place but I knew being a part of your new world would send me to hell. I'm not evil! I'm not dark! How can I be what you want me to be? Every time one of those disgusting bastards touched me I imagined it was you! What was the point", she cried, a few tears slid down her cheeks but she hurriedly wiped them away.

"I don't care what you want; you don't get a choice as my slave. I will give you new duties every day, let's just say they will be similar to that of a house elf"

"You married me"

"You may have a ring showing you are my wife, but from now on the closest you are to me is my mistress. I don't care if you want it or not, you will obey any order. You are nothing more than a whore to me", I smirked and apparated to my private study.

Maybe I was a little harsh, I didn't actually mean what I said, but she needed to feel hurt. I had to have her feel pain. When she feels that, when she feels truly sorry then I will forgive her, then we will be how we were.  
I smiled at my plan, by the end I will have the obedient wife I want, someday she will thank me.

...

The evil bastard. I knew he would want some sort of revenge on me, but to say that? This time last year he saying he hates me wouldn't matter to me, but now…he broke my heart. I curled up on the floor and cried and cried. I hate him. I hate him.  
After hiding from him for all that time, I never expected this to happen.

I've never been heartbroken; its name is exactly what it feels like, my heart shattered. I felt no life in me, but yet again he has won, I can't die and end it all.

A note appeared on the bed, I didn't want to read it but it could say anything and at this point in time I wouldn't put it past him if he crucioed me just for not looking at it.

_H-  
Your work clothes will arrive soon, I found them rather appropriate for your situation, be grateful I have given you anything.  
I have had new books installed in the library and they need to be placed in the right places, no magic.  
You won't be able to read them, this isn't for your leisure.  
LV_

I could almost see the smirk on his face. I crumpled the note up and threw it into the fire.  
By the time there was nothing left of the note an outfit had started to 'grow' on me, obviously he thought I wasn't going to wear whatever I had to.  
And I wouldn't if I had the choice. I looked down and didn't know whether to laugh or be disgusted. I was dressed in a black low cut and thigh length dress complete with white apron and stockings; it was so tight it was uncomfortable to breathe. I was wearing what looked like some fetish French maid outfit; this is just pure humiliation. Just another blow to the pain he was trying to give me, he had succeeded of course like he knew he would. I have nothing to live for, pain, humiliation and heartbreak is all I have left. I wanted him to love me, how can I love him anymore? But the emotion you cannot help, I hate myself and him for that. I can't even end it all, I was immortal, forced to endure the hardship.  
What am I doing? I can't let him get to me, no matter how I feel, he won the world but he won't win my pain. No he won't, I'll play his game if he wants to.

I looked on the bright side, though my 'costume' was sluttish and pathetic it made me laugh, I just told myself I was dressing up for Halloween or something.

I thought the book task would be an easy one, how wrong I was. When he said new books I thought he meant a few new orders, no he had nearly a libraries worth of new books, and the library itself had doubled in size.

A few hours later as a few books I was trying to put onto a high shelf fell, I groaned in frustration. I must have been doing this tedious task for hours and yet hardly anything was done. I settled down picking up the small pile scattered on the floor, as I reached out to pick up the last couple another hand got them first. I looked up to see Snape handing them to me; I muttered a thanks and reached up to place them on the shelf while ignoring him.

"So you're back then?",

"Obviously".

"Not too happy about that? I was surprised when I heard you were in the brothel, I do own the place"

"You!", I said angrily, "so you're the reason I was forced to fuck Merlin knows how many! Well I guess it doesn't matter really does it, I'm here now. He got what he wanted, and now I must suffer"

"how are you suffering? I can't see any marks on that skin of yours, I doubt you have any hidden seeing as your showing so much at moment", he smirked, I wanted to torture him but knew better not to.

"I'm being humiliated, forced to work like a house elf and did I forget, I had my heart fucking broken into pieces!", I could feel the tears coming but I held them back as much as I could, I told myself he won't win. "You know all this slave labour doesn't bother me really. Have you just come to gloat or do I have to shine your shoes?", I rolled my eyes and continued my work.

"you shouldn't have left, but if you just do what he says you may get it a bit easier, that's just some advice", he stated, I knew he was right but I didn't want to admit it. I looked back at him and I noticed how different he looked. His hair was shorter and more suited to him and he had by the looks of it been working out, I tried to move my thoughts to other things.

"You did alright for yourself then, Minster of magic, a brothel full of girls and some nice robes"

"you could say that I have done well and treated myself to some nice robes, I'll be seeing you then, maybe you can shine my shoes some other time", he finished and left.

I burst out laughing, I promised myself I will not shine _anyone's_ shoes.


	3. Regret

_I just can't let you go  
And I hate that I love you so  
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me  
And your kiss won't make me weak  
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me  
So you'll probably always have a spell on me  
-hate that I love you-Rihanna and Ne-yo  
_

...

Voldemort's POV

I sat casually on my chair in my study, going over my thoughts, Snape was to return within the next few minutes to enlighten me on Hermione's behaviour since I left. I could spy on her if I wanted, but where was the sense in that? The dark lord hiding and watching like a common muggle! No, I would prefer to see her reaction to a deatheater.

A blonde haired muggle woman came in and quickly placed a tray of drinks on my desk, I saw she was visibly shaking; it amused me to see such pitiful creatures so frightened to serve me. She stood by the door; waiting for me to dismiss her, to not wait is punishable.

I would have liked to spend a few moments to hear her screams but Snape entered, so I gave her some instructions before she was dismissed.

"So…how is she?", I took a sip of some firewhiskey and offered him to have some which he obliged.

"To quote her, she's had her 'heart fucking broken into pieces' and seemed quite upset about it milord"

"Good"

"But milord, other than that small moment she seemed not to bothered about everything. If im not being to bold, I would like to give my opinion that it's not affecting her how you want, can I suggest something more hurtful?", he stated. I frowned, so she wasn't as hurt as I wanted…

"Love is a powerful thing isn't it. I was foolish not to see that before. She has love for others, I have an idea…"

...

While stacking the books like a librarian I felt a longing to just open them up and read, I could rarely resist a book so I did all I could to distract myself.  
Singing and humming to muggle songs really made me feel good and it passed the time, no matter the state of the world I could still make it feel not so bad. I looked at all I had done, in one day I had done about half of everything, so many bloody books! I would be in heaven if I was allowed to read them.

I turned round at the sound of a small cough, a blonde haired mid-twenty year old girl stood before me in nothing but rags.  
"The dark lord wishes for you to serve him his meal in an hour", she muttered

"What? He wants me to serve him food! I won't do that!"

"Please do it! If you don't he'll torture me with that stick he holds!" she started crying, I realised she was a muggle and went over to give her a hug.

"Look, don't worry I'll do it. Shhh its ok now, I hope he hasn't treated you too badly", I said sympathetically

"I don't know anymore what happiness is like, when he took over I stole some food for my family but I was punished for it. Either watch my family die or be a servant in his household, he was generous to give me the option", she quickly wiped away her tears. "You are the girl he's been talking about aren't you? The one who made him angry and sad at the same time, I never knew someone so evil could miss someone"

"I guess that's me, I'm being punished for leaving. I've been a slave here for over a year now; I was kidnapped when I was 16 but im nearly 18 now. Don't worry, whatever pain you've gone through, just remember you're lucky you aren't me"

"Ok then, is that why you're dressed like that?"

"Yes it is", I laughed, "So where have I got to serve his 'highness'?"

"In the great hall, he says you know where it is. Those elf things will give you the food and you have to serve it, that's all I know"

"Thank you, that arrogant bastard should make his own dinner sometime. Thanks I hope I see you around again"

"Yes so do I, you're the first person in here who hasn't been horrible to me, I'm not allowed to talk to the other servants but you're an exception. Well I must go and do my duties", she finished with a smile and left.

So he's bringing muggles into his hell of torture and slavery now. I felt pity for her but I couldn't do much about it, technically she was safer in here than out there. Anyone could just pick her up and do what they wanted to her.

The cheek of him though, to serve him his food! I would refuse but of course he's blackmailed me with the safety of others, my weakness. I returned to my 'duties until a few pops made me turn around. Two house elves stood before me.  
"Miss is supposed to serve food to master", they chanted

"I know, now?", I asked annoyed

"Billa and Jilly will assist miss, we will bring food but miss must serve , we must go now or we will be late", I nodded and followed them down, the hall was the same as ever but felt cleaner. I didn't want to see that bastard, let alone serve him food, the elves were kind but I didn't know what to say. As we got to the doors I was handed two trays I could just about balance on my hands, how pathetic is this…

There he was alone at the head of the table, already surrounded by enough food, obviously just using this to annoy me, I saw him smirking and looking relaxed. I lowered the trays in front of him and poured him some wine which just appeared in my hands, I stepped way and waited.

"Anything else?", I asked moodily, he slowly took a fork and started eating his massive meal, I then realised how hungry I was.

"You forget to call me by my title"

"Anything else _sir_?"

"No. I was going to offer you some dinner though"

"Dinner…What's the catch?"

"none, just because you are a slave doesn't mean I can't invite you to eat at the table"

"It seems a little suspicious"

"Just eat up, I have entertainment, I don't know if you will enjoy it but you _will_ watch", before I could say anything I was locked into the chair he offered and I couldn't move. Before I could even try to move, I saw a figure brought into the room covered in a cloak.  
"I broke your heart but still you go strong, how would you feel if I broke it even more?", he grinned and crucioed whoever was under the cloak, his screams went right through me.

"Stop it!", I cried, I hated it, this was so sick.

"Im not going to stop it, but you can. If you kill him he won't feel any more pain, I could do this all night", he smirked while holding his wand on him. He trapped me; he knew I hated others pain and he was getting me to kill. I didn't care, the screams became unbearable

"Avada Kedavra!", I screamed at the figure who instantly fell to the floor. I leaned back out of breath, I killed him, whoever he was…but he wasn't suffering anymore.

"Well done. I trust you want to know the identities of the deceased", he didn't wait for me to answer but lifted the cloak.

I screamed, cried and fainted

...

Cruel I can be, generous if I want to be but cruel I can do brilliantly.

I had her kill the Weasley boy. Well so she thinks...

Though she hated everyone in the order she still loved him as a friend, even though he had been horrible he hadn't betrayed her. Her eyes lost all emotion before closing. She needed to feel the pain; she thought she had caused the death of someone close to her.

I didn't move her, just had the corpse removed, I watched her longingly. Watching her subtle breaths and her beautiful face still red and blotchy from the tears. I waited for her to wake, not wanting to do it myself. Her maids outfit was just to show her her place; I wouldn't allow my wife to wear rags though.

I originally intentioned to bring her parents in, I had kept to my word and kept them safe but I thought it would be the best way to break her. But I didn't want her so broken…I screwed up the idea, cruel I can be but I wouldn't do that to her.

I saw her stir and sit up rubbing her head; I sat on my throne while leaning back casually with a glass of wine in my hand.

"Why did you make me do that?", she whispered just loud enough for me to hear, she didn't even look at me.

"I didn't. You chose to kill him"

"You knew I wouldn't just listen to his screams. What do you want from me? You have everything and yet still you must hurt me so much, I don't have bruises on the outside, but you've marked me inside. Isn't that enough for you?", I considered her for a moment. She still stayed on the floor, facing away from me, but I could see her wiping eyes.

"I want you completely. I have everything but not all of you"

"You did, you had my body, my soul, my love. Yet you broke me into pieces"

"Why did you leave then? If I truly had all of that then you wouldn't have"

"You don't get it do you!", she shouted, starting to stand and looking directly into my eyes, "I don't want to be a part of this, I don't want to kill people, I don't want to hear screams!"

"It doesn't have to be like that, if orders are followed then that won't happen"

"Orders? So the world's population must be servants and if they disagree they are tortured and killed? That's not fair on any level. You don't realise how much I missed you, how much I wanted to be with you when I left. I don't care about this servant work but I hate what you did to me emotionally! I hate you"

"No you don't"

"Yes I do! I hate the sight of you! I just want to leave, I can't believe how much I wanted to return, I returned to a man who had no love inside of him"

"That's not true"

"It is, prove me wrong! What must I do for you to stop hurting me like this?"

"Nothing. You will continue your duties but I will prove to you how I feel", I muttered and apparated to my study.

I hurt her. I want her to love me still but I saw the hate in her eyes, I didn't want that.  
I want her to love me.

...

What just happened there? He just said he would prove his love for me after he did all that to me? What is he doing to me! Screwing with my head…

I made my way back to the library, after picking up some food from the table and eating it sneakily. When I entered I saw Snape was sitting there reading a book lazily, blood hell he's the minister! Why is he always here! Hasn't he got more important things to do?

I ignored his presence and carried on my book stacking, feeling like I was being teased by him reading and me not being able to. He didn't even acknowledge me so I happily carried on, slightly tapping the sides to music in my head.

"Could you stop that? It's pretty distracting", heard him mutter

"If im so distracting why don't you go somewhere else, seeing as your minister and all, I'm supposed to work here", I smirked while tapping still and organising books. I was still upset about Ron but I needed the distraction from it.

"I should torture you right here for your backchat"

"Go on then, I'm not stopping you", he smirked and crucioed me, I didn't make a single sound and carried on my work while smiling to myself. I was powerful enough to not feel the curse anymore, that didn't mean I wanted to use it. When he finally gave up I turned around to see him checking his wand.  
"A simple crucio isn't going to affect me now is it, I learnt to overcome that months ago"

"have you now, you could of said before I made a prat of myself", he laughed, so did I accidentally but quickly covered I up, "Ah I haven't heard you laugh for sometime"

"Don't get used to it, why are you here?"

"I can go anywhere I like-as long as it's not in the dark lords bedroom without permission, understandably he has things of his he doesn't wish to share", he looked me up and down whereas I rolled my eyes. "The dark lords private library is very resourceful and I'm one of few who can use it"

"Does that mean I'll be bumping into some more deatheaters on my journey of slavery?", I said sarcastically.

"The world has moved on from minor things such as torture, the world is running smoothly and orderly, just how it was intended", I ignored his statement and smiled as I finished yet another shelf.  
"If you shine my shoes I promise ill leave a tip"

"Fuck you"

"Im being serious, ok I won't tip you, I can offer something else though"

"What could you offer me which would make me want to touch your shoes?"

"I can give you anything you wish, I am minister so have the power to make it happen"

"There's nothing. Anyway what's the big deal with me touching your shoes?", I laughed

"Nothing of course, they're just in need of a shine, I would ask one of the other servants but it could give us a chance to bond again seeing as I haven't see you in a while"

"What do you mean 'bonding again'? We never bonded before! Ok then...I will shine your shoes when you find a way to remove the scar on my stomach"

"What scar?", he looked down at my dress, as if trying to see through it, I turned around and searched through some more books.

"The scar _he_ left by your curse! I still have his initials! They have faded but I don't want to see them anymore, Ive got a dark mark on my thigh and a ring on my finger, that's enough for me", I smirked knowing he couldn't remove it. A cursed scar was hard to impossible to remove.

"Well I better go and do my best then, I won't miss the chance to see you at my feet", he sniggered and got up, "Till next time _milady_", and he was gone.

I can't believe I still have that title! He just called me it to wind me up, knowing how much I resented Voldemort now. I looked at all the work I had done, only about a dozen books left, so proud I did so well!

I forgot about Ron, thinking about it would just depress me; I hated feeling broken inside, so much. More than anything, Voldemort scared me, I knew he was capable of anything but I never truly realised how evil he was. I hoped to heaven he wouldn't keep to his word as me being the closest thing to him as a mistress, I didn't want to touch him. I felt nervous around him, for the first time since I was first kidnapped.

...

She ran so far away from me, for so much time. I broke her inside and now I regret it, I want her to be punished but, I want her love for me. Her desire, obedience and commitment to me. How do I get that? I've never felt anything for a woman before, yes she's a woman now, when I first took her maidenhood she was just an innocent girl, now she is capable of murder and can resist a torture curse…perfection.

What would she like? I feel like a teenage boy who knows nothing about what he wants, I know nothing what a girl wants.  
The blonde haired servant girl walked in with a tray of butterbeer, I smile at a thought in my head.


	4. Not so hateful

_Yeah you and me we can ride on a star  
If you stay with me girl  
We can rule the world  
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky  
If you stay by my side  
We can rule the world  
-Rule the world, Take that  
_

...

"Flowers?", I asked with a look of disgust on my face. I ordered the servant girl to tell me what girls like, it all seemed so unnecessary.

"A date m-milord? My b-boyfriend used to take me out and make me feel special, we went to restaurants, cinemas and dances, I always looked forward to seeing him-", she quickly shut up when she noticed she was taking about herself in my presence, I don't need to know about other people unless I ask.

I obliviated the frightened girl before dismissing her.

A date? How pathetic my ancestors would think I am, but if a girl reckons she would like to go on a date then that may just work.

I can't believe im even considering this, maybe I don't have to. I'm holding a party as it were next weekend anyway, just a gathering of my deatheaters for the first time since I won the war, they can bring anyone they wish as long as it won't piss me off. I can take her as my guest, my wife and all.

On my way to the library-without apparating, I made a rose. So cliché and normal, maybe she would like it. A simple red rose, I was no expert on flowers but I knew it symbolised love and beauty.

One deep breath and I entered to see her lying blissfully on a sofa. I went closer and admired her beauty, her waist length hair-no longer curly partly hanged over her face and her body curled slightly to the side, still in her maid's uniform.

Instead of waking the sleeping beauty and making her sleep in my bed, I thought best to leave her. Before leaving I changed her outfit into a nightdress, I even left a nice dress for the morning.

I left the rose in her curled fingers.

...

I awoke on the sofa, I must have been tired but I didn't want to share a bed with him, I thought he might wake me and make me but he didn't.  
I felt something laced between my fingers so I brought it forward towards my eyes. A beautiful rose. Why am I holding it? I didn't pick it up. I marvelled at its beauty though, so perfect it was impossible but so very much real.

He put it in my hands, but why? Wait…I remember, he would prove his love. I lay it on the side.  
A simple rose isn't love, just a gesture.

But a big gesture for someone like him something in my head told me, I wonder where he even got such an idea from.

My entire book organising work had been done, I did so well and I just wanted to read, but he had put some kind of spell to stop me even opening them, typical. My dress was now a green nightdress, beautiful and thankfully knee length, but obviously low cut to show my larger than average breasts-by his doing. I was surprised he had allowed me clothes other than my maids though.  
A peacock blue summery dress lay over the arm of the sofa, I took a shower before I picked it up, unsure if I should wear it or not. It was nice but simple; a white ribbon went under the breast area to highlight my curves when I decided to put it on..

"Good morning", I heard him in the bathroom doorway,

"Morning sir", I muttered and looked up to him nervously, I wasn't completely relaxed around him anymore. He was leaning against the door frame in just his underwear, bearing his muscular physique to me, I looked him up and down just telling myself even though he looked good he was still evil.  
"A rose isn't going to change anything you know"

"Well of course, that doesn't mean I can't give it to you though does it?", he smiled and sat down next to me, "Im holding a party…thing next weekend, I would like you to be my guest"

"Your guest?"

"Yes why not? I would ask you to come as my wife but seeing as your pissed at me I thought you would prefer to be 'guest'. So will you?"

"I guess, or am I going to be the maid again? _sir_", I said with a frown, he let out a chuckle

"I said guest not maid. I know your nervous around me, don't deny it I can feel it in you, but im not going to hurt you anymore, unless I feel the need to punish you. I apologise for hurting you inside and even though you still have duties I am going to treat you as my wife, is that fine with you?"

"I can't trust you, obviously I knew you would want me to pay for what I did but to say that to me? To tell me to my face you don't love me? I would of killed myself if you hadn't of put a part of me in you, making me unable to die...".

...

I looked into her eyes, those eyes that seemed so cruelly unforgiving, she wanted to commit suicide? I never intended for that.

"I'm sorry", I muttered, I actually gave an apology…She looked to me in shock and confused, not knowing what to do, "I never intended to hurt you so much, I just wanted you to feel how I felt when you left. I wanted you to hurt for being the only one to ever make me feel like that. I hope in time you can accept my apology".

She studied my eyes looking for a lie, she couldn't find it.  
"You mean it don't you. I-I am so scared, what do I do?", she said shakily, I put my arm around her to make her feel safe.

"Kiss me", I whispered and she did so. I met her embrace and kissed her lips deeply, one hand in her hair, one moving up and down her waist and breast. I felt her hand make its way down to my boxers, I moaned when she rubbed my already hard member, then she stopped. I looked down to see her looking up at me with a tear in her eye.

"I can't do this, it's too soon", she whispered and walked out into the bathroom. I would of took her then even without her consent because I was so aroused, I sighed knowing that would make her take longer to want to touch me. I left a note thanking her for the books and telling (not asking) to serve Severus like she would serve me, she needs to learn her place without me looking so bad.

I growled in frustration as I arrived at the brothel, anyone would do for my need of release.

...

I can't do this. I want him but I detest him. I love him and I hate him. What am I supposed to do?  
I wanted him so bad just then but yet something in my head was saying no, yet my heart was all for him.  
When I realised he had gone I went back into the library, a note had been left next to the rose. I suppose I should of thanked him for it, it is the most beautiful rose I've ever seen, I felt butterflies that he had given it to me.  
The note read:  
_Thank you for completing your library task, you did incredibly well, I am glad you did it-I couldn't allow elves and servants to touch my books. I also thank you for cooperating with me a bit better though I hoped by now you would trust me, you will look your best on the night of the party, I will be proud to have you on my arm.  
I would also like to mention that you are to obey any order Severus gives you as you would me, he is like a second master for you, disobeying him means disobeying me and you know what happens if that happens..._

I burned the note to dust and made it disappear.  
All butterflies I felt vanished out of anger, I wonder where he went anyway, Snape will know anyway, as if someone had read my mind, he apparated into the room by a bookshelf. I could see the back of his head as he browsed the shelves I had taken time and effort to organise, his now shorter hair swept slightly across the bit of his face I could see.

I tapped my fingers against the side, annoyed that he hadn't even acknowledged my presence while twiddling the rose in my fingers.  
"You like to make noise in times when it is unneeded don't you", he muttered and picked up a book on what looked like unicorn blood properties, he sat down opposite me and asked me to stop, and when I carried on I felt that annoying cracking pain on my thigh. Disobeying Snape meant disobey Voldemort, meaning pain for me. I swiftly stopped.  
"Finally, that can get so annoying"

"I have no choice", I said through clenched teeth.

"Why…oh yes I remember, the dark lord _briefly_ mentioned to me the situation you're in involving me, I think I'll find it quite amusing", I saw a smirk play against his lips as he settled down the book and relaxed casually into the chair.

"You find this amusing do you then? I could torture you in a second if I wanted so don't wind me up"

"The thing is you can't, you can't harm me in anyway. You know I would have you shine your shoes without holding my end of the deal but I don't go back on promises, I actually found a cure for your 'little' mark"

"Little? A scar across my stomach representing _his_ initials! Not even his real initials are they, no he is Tom Riddle, half blooded dark lord in reality!", I sneered, I saw him smirk and he took a small vial from his inside robe.

"You are amusing. I have the potion here, it was tricky but since I invented the spell I was the only one who would know how to do it. So scar or no scar?", he grinned, holding up the blue vial to my face. Teasing me with the choice of humiliating scar and pride or no scar and humiliation, I made my decision; I nodded to the potion with a look of resent.  
"let me see the scar first, then I know what dose to give you, we don't want an overdose now do we?", I heard a tint of amusement in his voice, I didn't want to but as I was wearing a dress I had to pull it up bearing my underwear to him as well as my scar.

He kneeled down as I stood, I saw him nod in approval at my underwear which annoyed me and then study my scar. So light it was barely recognisable but I knew it was there, that's all that mattered.

"Big isn't it, even though its light I can see it clearly, so are you sure you don't want any more reminders of who owns you?", he added sarcastically before standing up and giving me the vial, I angrily lowered my dress as soon as possible.  
"Drink the whole bottle, I wasn't telling the complete truth just now about doses, it's impossible to overdose on it", I so wanted to crucio him but my magic disappeared if I tried.

"Shouldn't you be hanging out at your brothel place and getting some sluts there? Checking me out won't get you anything from me, I can promise that", I smirked seeing his now annoyed face, I took the vial up to my lips and quickly downed it, and it tasted strange and not too nice. I sat down as I felt it suck the energy out of me and my stomach surface started feeling prickly which turned to severe pain, I moaned as the throbbing shot through me and then disappeared. As my breathing slowed down I pulled up my dress to see my stomach, so clear and perfect, I rubbed my hand over it admiring my skin, most would think that's weird but I didn't care. I pulled my dress down again and got up to go to the bedroom but was stopped when the door swung shut; I turned around to see Snape sitting on the sofa looking up at me.

"What the hell? Let me out of here!", I said trying to open the door.

"I believe you have yet to complete your part of the deal"

"What deal-your serious?", I said when I realised what I said I'd do, he smirked and nodded, I knew there was no way out of it so I nodded my head and rolled my eyes. He put his feet up on a foot stool he conjured and made shoe shining stuff appear in my hands. Just get it over with I told myself and kneeled down by his feet, I could see he was loving this.  
"You're a bastard you know that, couldn't you have just used your wand?", I sighed as I started on his expensive looking boots.

"And miss the opportunity of seeing you at your feet? I must say it's good to see you in your true place"

"If I could kill you I would of done by now", I muttered making him laugh

"I must say im getting a good view from here though", I heard him snigger as he looked down at my cleavage, I hate this guy so much!

"You know you were my professor, didn't seem too interested back the did you?"

"Well you were an insufferable know-it-all who hanged around with most idiotic of them all, but I did notice how good looking you were at that Yule ball, you certainly had developed into a woman. The dark lord has only emphasised those features, thankfully", I ignored his remarks. I knew he didn't like the colour of my eyes, nor did anyone really, the scarlet red just reminded everyone of Voldemort.  
"Your good at this, I like it when you 'accidentally' rub against my leg".

"Sure, I so want you!", I said sarcastically, "Want me to lick your boots as well while im at it?"

"Though that sounds good to me I wouldn't make you do that, I'm not evil"

"you're as close as you can get though", I muttered and he grabbed my hair tight, pulling me up to his level, I moaned in pain but he wouldn't let go.

"You obviously have never experience evil, do you want to?", he growled, I shook my head as tears came to my eyes, "You may be the dark lords slave, even his wife but that doesn't mean I can do what I like to you to show you just how cruel I can be", he let go and I gasped as I hit the floor. I had never seen him so angry and so willing to hurt me, it frightened me slightly at the thought of what he really was capable of.  
"I won't hesitate to hurt you in future, I don't care if you can't feel the cruciatus, there are other ways…", he looked up and down my body making me feel very vulnerable, "im not your professor anymore, the world has changed, get used to it"

"I got used to it long ago, don't tell me you can hurt me, I've felt more hurt than you could ever imagine", I whispered while glaring up at him, I was still on the floor, too scared to stand.

"Im sure that's true, but I'm just warning you, you haven't felt the pain I can give yet. I am not a sadist but I do think I will enjoy your screams, I hear your not a coward but I would like to hear you begging for mercy"

"W-why? I haven't done a thing!"

"You better hope it stays that way then, I'll see you around _milady_", and he was gone.

I sighed in relief; I never in my life would think Snape would say all that to me! I picked up a selection of books to wonder over, not noticing the tears glazing my cheeks.

...

I lounged lazily on my throne, one leg on one of the arm and the other rested on a foot stool I made appear, no one else in the room except a rat named wormtail, I fiddled with my wand as he transformed into a man.  
"Wormtail, so you hear news that may be of interest to me?"

"Yes milord! I heard a discussion, a plot about the girl", I instantly sat up now interested in what else he had to say, "A group of wizards, I heard in an old shack, the shrieking one in Hogsmeade. Well they were plotting the abduction of the girl, if you lose her they believe you will be easier to overtake, t-that's all I know milord".  
So some wizards think that's going to happened, I sniggered and asked him of their identities.  
"I apologise milord, they were all hooded and cloaked, they didn't refer to any other by name, but there was a dozen maybe", I crucioed him and ignored his screams. A dozen wizards? This may be more serious than I thought…

I returned to the library, thinking over what must be done, not much really, she was well protected, but there was always the possibility…I pushed it out of my mind when I saw her sitting down, rubbing her hands over a pile of book, longing to be able to open them I could see she was imagining what they told inside. I smiled at her passion for knowledge and sat next to her, she didn't look up at me but stopped what she was 'doing'.  
"How are you?", I asked like a gentleman,

"I am the same as always sir", she said blankly, I noticed a single tear on her cheek, unmoving just there, as if someone had dropped it there

"You've been crying"

"It's not crying when you don't notice it, a few tears isn't crying"

"what happened?

"Snape, doesn't matter, nothing happened. I don't even get why I shed tears, anyway I'd of thought you'd know everything what goes on without having to ask"

"Im not a god, I can't see everything all the time. You want to read don't you"

"Yes sir", she said simply, "I am beyond boredom, I know that sound selfish but I can't just sit here doing nothing"

"It's not selfish, I think I will allow you access to books", she looked up at me with a smile, I loved it when she smiled

"Really?", she said happily and still half unbelieving, I nodded and she hugged me, I rarely got one so I enjoyed it, playing with her as well.

"I would prefer it if you actually liked me though", I said in her ear

"I would too, I wish I could love you again", I let go of her and looked into her deep red eyes; "I don't know what I feel anymore. I know you are busy, you don't have to be here".

"Yes but I would prefer to see you, the world can wait for just a little while", I told her as she sat down, "I hope you look forward to the 'party', you are the guest of honour of course"

"guest of honour? I've never been that before…yes I suppose I do look forward to it, but what have you been telling people about me?"

"That you were ill but are well again now, no one-as you probably know, knew you were away. On the night you _will_ act like the wife you are, if you don't act loving to me I will have to punish you harshly", she didn't seem to care at what I said. I didn't need rumours that I had a wife who didn't obey me, no matter how harsh I am.  
"Will you sleep in our bed tonight", I asked when I got up and headed to the bedroom.

"Yes", I heard her, I thought I misheard but she walked past me when I stopped and got straight into bed, curling over away from the centre. I wasn't going to try anything sexual so I changed and got in.

For the next week we seemed to get closer, she was a bit happier and didn't mind talking to me, I didn't force her to sleep with me either, I was going to take my time to win her over.  
The night before the party she fell asleep in my arms, we didn't do anything apart from talk, she kissed me before she went asleep and told me she was sorry for everything. I fell asleep smiling.


	5. Bait

_I don't know what you do  
but you do it well  
I'm under your spell_

You got me begging you for mercy  
why wont you release me  
you got me begging you for mercy  
why wont you release me  
-Duffy, Mercy

...

I walked alone through the house, which was more of a castle, at dusk after getting ready. A red ball gown that fitted as if it were my own skin to my body glistened in the moonlight, and the billowing skirted part swayed as if like water, just divine in scarlet.

I didn't feel like going straight to the hall although I knew the ball had started, I didn't feel comfortable around _those_ sorts of people and their partners. Voldemort was ok if I came slightly later as long as I did turn up, playing the love struck wife, yes I had started to fall in love again, unbelievable really but I wasn't going to act how I did before. I will keep to my word that I won't dwell in the darkness.

The rose he had given me still hadn't died, I placed a charm on it so it wouldn't, it was too beautiful to let perish. Before entering the hall I checked I looked ok, my hair fell straight down to my waist, the necklace rested above my dress and coloured the same as my eyes and dress. It always changed between red and green, depending on what I was wearing-or my mood. I took a deep breath before a doorman opened the door, inside was hundreds of wizards and witches all dressed for the occasion, so many I was overwhelmed by the scale of his supporters.  
The few who noticed my entrance bowed their heads slightly at my appearance, it was so weird…I went straight in the direction of Voldemort throne because I knew full well he would be there.

"I do believe you look like a goddess", he complimented me when I finally made my way to him, he kissed my hand and stood up, he was dressed in black as usual but even more regal than usual, his dark hair swept just across his face.

"Thank you", I smiled as he took my hand to walk, "Want to introduce me to some of your 'friends'?", I teased.

"First I need to introduce you", he silenced the music with a click of his fingers and everyone looked round to him in complete silence, "Ladies and gentlemen, your lady Hermione…", a ring of applause and I blushed, so many dark people applauding me? "She hasn't been in the public eye for sometime but she is back to true self again now, I hope you welcome her. You may resume", and the music started again as if by magic…obviously. I mentally slapped myself.  
"I need to see a few people so don't get into trouble"

"I'll do my best", I smirked before he walked into the crowd leaving me alone, but it could be a chance to have a bit of freedom in here. I preferred it when I got on with him, although I wasn't 100% I started to trust him again.

"Granger, so you're back once again", I heard the recognisable voice from behind me of Draco,

"Looks like I am Malfoy, shouldn't you be back at Hogwarts doing some homework or something?", I smirked knowing he was now head boy at school, I turned around to look into his icy eyes with a touch of warmth. He had changed, more grown up and good looking in his rich robes, not that I liked to admit it.

"Come on, you liked a bit of homework so I suppose your longing for some, want to do mine?", he suggested as I raised an eyebrow, "I'm joking, look im not the little immature shit I was anymore, the new world has changed me"

"That's nice to hear, I never thought I'd hear you call yourself a little shit", I laughed

"No I _was_, get it right", he corrected me with a grin, "Wanna dance? I've got to get away from Pansy, driving me mad!", he nodded his head to a dark haired girl getting a few drinks, I laughed. He took my hand and I began to notice he was a good dancer, "what?"

"Sorry, it's just I never thought you of all people would be a good dancer. Anyway, why are you avoiding her?", I questioned, my eyes flicking to the Slytherin girl.

"There's nothing wrong with her she's just not my type, I have to be with her though because her parents and my mother are using it to secure both our pure bloodlines, she's the most possessive person though", I felt a tad of pity, he was a prisoner as well really.

"Isn't there another pureblood you can marry then?"

"Dunno, trying to find one. Doesn't matter really, being a deatheater I get loads of girls wanting me, I've bedded most of the girls in 7th year already this year, Pansy can't say anything about it though which makes me being with her just fine with me", he smirked and I rolled me eyes.

"Don't get any thoughts about me, 'cos its not going to happen", I told him when I noticed him looking down my cleavage, even though everyone tended to do it because of the low cut clothes I wore and the size of them, I hated the 'attention'.

"Nah I've already scored you in the past", he said proudly resulting in a hard slap from me, maybe the third I've given him since I've known him. I didn't even wait to hear him moan back, I walked off before being stopped by a couple in their fifties.

"Milady it's an honour to finally meet you", the woman said with a slight curtsey, I didn't know what to say so I just thanked them. "The dark lord told us of illness, we trust you are well now?"

"Er, yeah…yes I am. Erm...what brings you here?"

"I am a good friend of the minister, my wife works high up in the ministry so we have some connections you could say", the bearded man told me with his arm around his black haired wife.  
It was like that with nearly everyone, every time I moved on from someone another couple or more started conversation with me. Some talked about the dark arts and bragged about what they had done, which disgusted me but I just smiled and nodded, I was helpless to say anything.

Finally, after a few dances, some food and dozens of conversation, someone put their hands over my eyes, "Guess who", he whispered playfully before kissing me on the lips.

"I trust it is you milord", I smiled; he moved his hands to reveal it was indeed Voldemort, "I was just looking for you, these people are driving me mad", he laughed and took my hand.

"If you wish to retire please do so, I can't im afraid but I will make it up to you", he apologised and kissed my forehead, I nodded and said goodnight. I didn't want to stay longer than i had to.

"Thanks, I had a good time, I wish I could have seen you a bit more though", I smiled and left for the bedroom.

On my way back down the empty halls I felt a presence, as if someone was watching me, I turned round but no one was there when I got outside. I turned back and let out a startled cry before being hit against the wall and was knocked out.

...

After feeling a twinge inside of me i heard a loud voice shouting, "Milord! Milord!", I looked up to see Peter Pettigrew running up to me and gasping for breath.

"What is it?", I asked annoyed, pulling out my wand to Crucio him.

"It's the Hermione girl! There was blood on the wall outside your chambers...she's gone!", he cried. I instantly got up and apparated outside my chambers to see for myself when I realised how serious he was, everyone was silent looking over and trying to listen before i left.

I saw it; the wall had a dose of blood at about Hermione head height which slid down, as if she had fallen to the floor while leaning against the wall. I didn't need to check the rooms, she had gone, and someone had taken and hurt her.  
Anger bubbled through me, I had no idea of her location because the potion of submission she was given all that time ago-which would have helped, doesn't work once marriage happens.  
Where? Who? Why?  
Then I remembered what that rat had told me, some wizards have been planning this, planning to take what is mine. Every single one will die when I find her, once again she is not with me, but this time she didn't go willingly otherwise they wouldn't have hurt her. The thought of her hurting made me curse, I didn't feel her in pain because she was knocked unconscious, but if I do feel her pain, I will do a lot of damage…

"Milord, she will be found and returned swiftly and accurately", Snape said behind me, I didn't need his reassurances so I tortured him, no matter that he was the closest person I had as a friend.

Many will suffer for this.

"Snape, I want everyone who was here tonight accounted for"

"Milord, many have left already"

"Then I want a full scale investigation put in place from this moment"

...

I woke on a cool soft material, feeling like a bed beneath me, I slowly opened my eyes to notice light coming from a barred window, it was morning but I last remember it being night. I was in a small, cold room with just a bed and a fireplace which wasn't on, two doors stood in front of me, one obviously for outside and the other for a bathroom of some kind.  
I quickly got up to check the door for outside but it was locked, typical. Who the hell kidnapped me? I remember about to go into the bedroom when I saw a cloaked figure hit me hard against the wall, that's all I remember, I raised my hand to my head to feel dry blood in my hair but no marks, I shuddered at the feel of it.

The door opened and a hooded figure walked in, I tried to curse him but my magic wouldn't work, I looked down at myself unsure of why Voldemort would do that to me.  
"You currently have a potion that lasts 24 hours to cease your magic, you will take a daily dose", he said in a familiar voice.

"And what if I don't?"

"You have no choice, if you resist we will use force"

"Who are you? Why am I here!", I asked furiously

"Just one of a few who want more power, you are the key to that, with you gone it will make the dark lord more…weaker mentally and emotionally. We know he can feel when you're in pain and he has already been messaged of what's going to happen, you will be subjected to a torture session every day until he hands over a certain artefact which holds the key"

"The key to what?"

"The key to immortality, darkness and power"

"You're talking about horcruxes"

"No im not, this artefact holds a lot of power which will be so useful to us"

"What is it? The artefact I mean, I'm just interested because you're never going to get it, no torture of his slave is going to budge him"

"we shall see, you're more than just a slave though aren't you"

"Maybe, but that won't make the dark lord back down, he has spent his whole life working for it, when I get my magic I am going to enjoy killing you and your friends, so are you going to tell me what it is?", I growled.

"A stone, an emerald which is said to heal whatever it touches", he told me, I quickly realised what it was and acted cool so not to arise suspicion.

"At least tell me who you are, seeing as I'm going to be here for a while it seems", he considered me for a second before lowering his hood. He was dark haired and handsome, maybe in his mid-twenties and I felt like I recognised him.  
"You were at the party"

"Yes, you spoke to my parents, being the son of a friend of the minister gave me easy access to an invite"

"So you're going to go against everything your family is for to gain power?"

"Of course, a group of wizards asked me if I was interested and I happily joined them, the dark lord has it right with what he is doing but its time his little phase ends. Tell me, if you wasn't here, what would you want?", he smirked when he saw my mental battle.

"I…I want my husband" , I stated, his face went more serious, "You or your companions will never be as powerful as him, just cowards" I sneered as he raised his hand. He tried to hit me but I caught it and twisted it, hearing his wrist break and his whimper I let go and look down at my own hand. I'm not capable of that sort of strength am I? I didn't even feel like I used any energy and it was done so effortlessly, the wizard looked up at me and apparated without another word.

That was the least of my problems though, this thing these people are after is around my neck at this moment in time, true it is heart shaped but he must have had it made into a pendant, the scarlet colour of it was only because I was still wearing my red gown and because of my anger, it was still an emerald though.

Either way im stuck, it's impossible to remove unless the person who gave it removes it, Voldemort. That wasn't likely, so I am forced to live a life of torture. I fidgeted with the pendant waiting for _something_, hoping Voldemort would come and rescue me as if I was a damsel in distress like in muggle fairy tales.  
I sighed before lying back on the bed unable to do anything, no magic and still no freedom.

I woke up after not realising I had fallen asleep, believing it was all a dream but no, I was still in the tiny room I've been imprisoned in. A bulky middle-aged man stood opposite me, twiddling his wand between his fingers and watching me closely.

"What?", I said annoyed, he didn't say anything making me even more infuriated, "Are you going to say anything or are we going to sit in silence? Im getting a bit bored now"

"Crucio", he said pointing his wand at me, I screamed as violent pain cursed through my body, I had gotten used to blocking it out and not feeling it that it hurt so much more. Finally after what felt like hours it stopped, I was left gasping on the floor and steadily looking up.  
"Better get used to it because you're going to feel it a lot more in the future"

"I don't think so", I whispered as he cackled, "He knows when I'm in pain but that doesn't mean he can feel it, it's not going to make him give in to what you want, I am just a slave of his!"

"No you are more than that, that's why you are so useful to us. Mind telling me how you managed to break the wrist of an armed wizard with no magic?"

"Honestly I have no idea, the dark lord tends not to tell me things until they actually happen"

"I will return tomorrow for your next dose of torture"

"I'll look forward to it", I said sarcastically, waiting for him to leave, as soon as he does I would be able to heal myself. "Can you get me some books or anything to read? It gets boring in here, come on my boredom isn't going to affect the dark lord!"

"I'll think about it, you know you was going to be used for entertainment purposes but as it seems you can defend yourself without the need for magic you've got out of it, it's too much hassle to have you tied down", he added

"Am I supposed to be thankful? Think again, I promise you one thing though, I will be the one to kill you", I smirked before he left. No I don't like dark magic but this was something I really wanted to do, kill the bastards who were doing this.

...

I felt her hurting, a long crucio it seems and I was helpless to help her. The dark lord helpless, unbelievable…I hit my fist against my study table without a wince, the letter I was sent lay open.

_Your wonderful wife is doomed to face a session of torture every day until you give up the emerald.  
As soon as it is done she will be free to go, a Fidelius Charm is in place so she is 'safe' for now and not too far.  
She is quite feisty and is keeping us 'entertained'...but you don't want your property broken do you?_

I crumpled it up and through it across the room, how can I be so stupid! I have no idea where she is and who has her.

Snape sat opposite me, not acknowledging my outburst, "Milord she has only been gone for less than 24 hours, she will be found"

"She is still in England, but I want the whole of Britain on alert, this can't be seen as a moment of weakness"

"I understand milord"

"I need her with me here, I had her out of my grip for too long to let it happen again. I wonder if Hermione knows she's even wearing the thing they want, they won't find out unless she tells them though, it doesn't really matter anyway, it's impossible to remove without my permission, I just hope they won't do anymore damage to her trying to", I patted my fingers against the table.

"Milord, I think I may have a lead", I looked up at Snape, "One of the servant girls, the blonde one has hinted to the others she may have seen her taken"

"Then what are you waiting for? Bring her in immediately!"

"I already have, she's outside", he flicked his wand making the door open to show the nervous muggle who always served me food in my study. "Tell me muggle, what did you see?"

"I-I", she stuttered, I didn't have time for nonsense

"Legilimens", I pointed my wand at her and instantly saw into her mind.  
The muggle walked down the hallway outside my chambers, suddenly a disturbance was heard and she hid behind a corner, slightly peaking round.  
Hermione walking to the door and about to go in but looked around, as if trying to find a source of something. Then I saw it, two cloaked figures took off an invisibility cloak, the muggle tried to warn Hermione but it was too late. One hit Hermione against the wall knocking her unconscious, blood trailing after her as she fell but was caught by the other cloaked wizard. And then they were gone.

I removed myself from the girls mind and thought for a minute or so. I recognised one as his hood slightly fell; I smirked knowing how I had gotten so much closer to having her returned.


	6. Pain for both

_Anyone who can touch you  
Can hurt you or heal you  
Anyone who can reach you  
Can love you or leave you  
So be gentle_

I bruise easily…  
-Natasha Bedingfield, I bruise easily

...

"I have nothing against you, I wish you didn't have to torture you everyday", Morgan told me after a little conversation. After being tortured the handsome youngish wizard returned and introduced himself as Morgan, ever since that day he talked to me whenever he had the chance. Now a week later we were once again talking after I was tortured.

"I know, but the dark lord won't see it like that when im free", I replied. I had gotten a liking for him even in the position I was in, I got the impression he was forced into my kidnapping and hostage like situation.

"Well at least you understand, anyway my hand still hurts from where you broke my wrist! I had it healed as well but apparently it's a side effect…"

"Sorry but you were going to whack me one, I didn't even realise I was doing it, like a reflex or something and I felt like I used such little effort, weird huh"

"Yeah I guess, are you sure you haven't taken anything to make you so strong, that guy who was just here almost lost his arm when he came near you", he said seriously as I laughed, the last person who came in to torture me was just making me sick of the it so I tried to disarm him, didn't work but he left quickly. "You definitely have had a potion or something"

"I haven't! Well I've had a few in the dark lords control but none for strength, I wouldn't need it…but I must say it has been useful", I smirked.

"well im curious about it anyway, I researched a lot on human capabilities without the use of a wand a few years back and your case sounds similar to something I've read…", he said deep in thought

"doesn't matter, the only way I would have gotten a substance to give me such good 'skills' would be if something was in my blood stream…", I looked down at my arms as realisation came over me I chuckled, "something's can be more useful than expected then"

"What is it?"

"Basilisk venom in the blood stream would usually kill a person but-", I quickly shut up when I remembered not many knew of my immortality, "doesn't matter, I just know why", he raised an eyebrow but didn't press any further, and opened a letter he had yet top open from his pocket. After a few minutes of reading he got up and pulled on his cloak.

"Sorry but I need to go, my father it seems wants to see me and I'm a bit late, thanks for the chat though", he smiled and apparated. He wasn't bad this guy, just in with the wrong people, people who wouldn't mind torture and deaths to get their wants, kind of reminds me of a certain group. Voldemort was evil, sadistic and cruel as I always reminded myself, but he seemed to care a lot about me and hopefully was doing all he could to rescue me. I never thought I would miss him so much, so I made 'friends' with Morgan, well at least I wasn't completely alone that way.

A few hours later a couple of very angry looking wizards came in, I was surprised seeing as I had already received my 'dose' of torture for the day…

...

"Avada Kedavra!", I cursed and his body went still, "have his body dropped off somewhere, somewhere _they_ will find him", I ordered a few deatheaters who quickly removed him.  
I smirked at my brilliance; the people who took my possession, my Hermione had now lost a 'follower', a young man named Morgan.

I recognised him in the servant girls mind, but I knew he wasn't a senior person in the operation, he seemed too naïve and young, he was easy enough to fool into coming here. Such a pity.  
I tortured him for a bit to get information, he couldn't reveal her location because he wasn't secret keeper but he told me she was well, she was loyal to me and that she missed me.  
I looked into his mind before he died, an image of Hermione screaming not by my doing haunted me, and she wasn't supposed to feel pain not inflicted by me! I will kill them all.

...

I screamed for the thousandth time on the floor, screaming for life after being tortured mercilessly for hours. I didn't do anything wrong and begged for them to stop, I am not a coward but the Crucio's were sending me to the brink of madness. Finally before losing consciousness it stopped, I was so numb I couldn't see and knew I had no energy.

"Little bitch had enough then?", one taunted, kicking my body over so I could see right into their eyes, "Morgan's dead", I knitted my eyebrows together in confusion, he's dead? I only spoke to him this morning…

"why are you hurting me then?", I gasped

"because the dark lord needs to know the consequences of his action", I was crucioed a bit more and I could hardly tell a few new spells were used to make me bleed and bruise, I was already in too much pain. "We are a group who have been working for years to get what we want, all for the greater good"

"Greater good?"

"As soon as we are in possession of the emerald, it will be so much easier to take over and make things how they are supposed to be", one snarled at me, my limp body was breathing heavily and I was getting angrier by the second.

"you will never get the emerald, it's impossible for anyone, even its wearer"

"its wearer? It is a simple stone-", he looked down at my necklace which was now green, my whole body except my chest was marked and bloody, he muttered a few charms and smirked when he finished, "so the dark lord kept it right under our noses"

"that is it?", the other asked greedily

"yes, and to think we didn't even need to torture the slut, but where's the fun in that?", he smirked and leaned down to pick up the pendant, he could merely touch it, unable to grab or pick it up off my skin.

"only the owner can remove it, the dark lord owns it as he owns me-as I've been told so many times", I laughed weakly, earning myself yet another crucio. My skin was unrecognisable, only red and purples, never had I been hurt so bad when not in Voldemort's home, my home.

"She's right, it can't be removed, we should just kill her", the minor one told the more prominent, he nodded in agreement and cursed me with Avada-Kedavra. Yet again death without death, I screamed more than ever, it wasn't as powerful as Voldemort's but powerful enough, I closed my eyes.

"Death comes so easily to people these days", I heard him say and lean over to pick up my pendant but still unable to, he stopped trying when he notice my smirk, "what the?", I fluttered then open and look directly into his.

"you won't get rid of me that easily", I breathed

"This is some weird shit", the minor one said nervously, backing away.

"No one has ever survived the curse except for the Potter boy, you could be of advantage to us, otherwise you will just be the pathetic, slut slave you already are", that's when I started to feel the anger, no matter how weak I was it didn't stop the rage run through my body.

"I am _not_ pathetic. I am _not_ a slut. I might be a slave but I am _not_ yours to use", I growled, "You want to use me? If you survive you just might get the chance"

"Survive what?", he sniggered

"Avada Kedavra!", I screamed and they both fell dead, no other words as more power than I've ever generated roared out of me, . I managed to rise above a potion that drained my magic, but I collapsed onto the cold floor unconscious as a consequence, knowing nothing more.

...

I paced my study, waiting, waiting for news, any news. They were torturing her, almost killing her and I could feel it but without the pain, I knew the emotions she was feeling deep inside of me. Helpless, pathetic and weak, that's not me…usually, under these circumstances though I was all three. I knew the approximate location of Hermione, but because I wasn't secret keeper I cannot see the location, I had at least a dozen men stationed around to report anything suspicious though.

Her pain lasted for hours and the whole time I sat, paced or simply watched out of my window, thinking over my many thoughts on what to do. A knock at the door and I allowed entry, Severus bowed respectively and entered, he sat down without permission but it didn't bother me, he was the only one who I would allow to do so.

"Milord, no news on the girl but I would like to report on the progress the countries are making, now people are starting to get used to your laws everything has been more relaxed, less serious crimes are being committed but minor ones I'm afraid are on the rise, such as theft"

"good, tell me what would you define as a serious crime?", I asked to Snape's surprise

"erm well murder, assault, rape and going against you", he suggested slightly nervously.

"two out of four. Assault I have no care for, if you can't defend yourself then it's their own problem, and rape…well under my law a woman must be owned by either a person or business, through marriage or through document, technically a possession can't be raped by its owner. On the other hand, when a possession is broken by another that is punishable", I stated.

"I completely understand milord and you are correct of course"

"Severus you have done well as you always have, yet you never accept rewards from myself, I always wonder why"

"I don't need rewards to work for what I believe is right milord, I have everything I need, a home, a good job and my own private 'business'", he smirked in reference to his brothel. This discussion distracted me from Hermione's pain, after half hour I raised a hand and Severus stopped talking immediately. The sense of her hurting had been dialled down, I knew she wasn't being tortured but she was seriously injured.

"they have stopped whatever they were doing to her and it kills me to know I can't help her, they better heal her soon though, or hell will be paid", I slammed my fist on the table and stood up to look out of the window, "deatheaters are situated in and around her approximate location?"

"yes milord"

"good", I felt a wave over me as if something was opening, "because the secret keeper is dead", I smirked, "don't ask questions, have her found and brought here, everyone else dies", and he apparated with a nod.

I sat on my desk triumphantly, I don't know how I knew, I just did. I felt a sense of supreme power, happiness and freedom then nothing, as if she were dead but that was impossible, she was merely unconscious at most. Snape may wonder how I all of a sudden just knew the secret keeper was dead but it didn't bother me so it shouldn't him, I will have her back where she belongs.

I wonder though how this secret keeper ended up dead though, I felt a burst of energy so it might have been Hermione but that is serious magic…it just couldn't be in her unstable condition, someone must have intervened and killed the bastards and helped my girl, whoever he is going to be a very important wizard in the near future.

I relaxed with a hard drink on my chair with a real smile across my face, not alone anymore am I? I look back and think I how I survived with no one for so many years, now I can't think without her, I _need_ her more than I want her now, just a year ago it was the other way around. I tapped my fingers patiently against the table, waiting for her, how bad is she really? I know she felt serious, near-death pain but how bad could it be really? An owl tapped on the window holding a rough note, I quickly opened it to recognisable handwriting.

_Milord, she is in your private hospital, she is in a very instable condition, if she could she would be dead right now. SS_

With that I roughly dropped the note and apparated to my hospital, only small and in the building so it was always near. Three healers were busily performing charms and handling potions around a bed, Severus and a couple of other death eaters stood by to watch, sometimes assisting in a spell or two. Before going over I watched the rushing, not able to see her, Snape as soon as he saw me came over hurriedly with a bow.

"Milord, I couldn't tell you personally because I was needed here; the girl has been through much damage"

"Damage? Surely they couldn't have hurt her that bad?"

"It is not just what they did to her, yes she was severely tortured, very badly, many curses and muggle beatings as well, but she also…"

"Also what?", I asked impatiently now

"She was 'killed' with the Avada Kedavra curse but didn't die as you already know is possible for her, she was dead but still breathing", I sighed in relief, she had taken the curse before. "But from what evidence suggests is that she killed half the street she was in"

"What?"

"She seemed to have attempted to kill those who had just well tried to kill her and ended up killing about a dozen people, inside and outside on the street. A deatheater was hit also who happened to be outside"

"How is that possible? They drained her power and yet she was able to kill so many people with one curse…"

"She is more powerful than anyone, even yourself milord, ever believed possible, she didn't know she was capable of such a thing", he stated. I pondered on his words for a few seconds before going over to see her myself, the healers moved away as soon as I was near, she was unstable but not near death, she was at risk of being lost only to survive in her head.

I saw her and my heart skipped a beat, I never knew I even had a heart. Her face looked so peaceful, I could just about see a smile on her lips like she was dreaming, her lids closed to hide her beautiful eyes. Apart from her features she looked dead, her skin was waxy and drenched in blood, several bruises and cuts were still visible-yet to be healed. She just looked so fragile, I wanted to wake and kiss her lips, tell her I will keep here safe-but I've promised that before and yet I couldn't, yet her strong will went on. Her hair fell around her head like a halo, her breaths almost non-existent and her hands rested by her sides like a soldier; this was never supposed to happen.

"Severus, see to it that she stays alive not just dead with a soul, my own experiences are something I don't want her to ever feel", I ordered and leaned down to kiss her forehead, in her mind I pushed in a thought.  
_Please forgive me for not protecting you. I love you Hermione._


	7. The exbest friend

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts  
-Don't speak, No Doubt_

...

"milord she is safe, that's all that matters if im not being too bold", Severus noted, noticing my frustration in the last week since she returned, still she had not awakened but she was as near to healed as she could be, she was just very weak. So much energy was blasted from inside of her that she was left unable to do anything except stay alive.  
"The head healer predicts she will awaken within the next few days"

"I know and I want to be the first person to talk to her when she does, I have the world to run but this is important, you are minister I trust you have and can cope without my 'guidance' until she awakens?"

"Of course milord. Before I leave…she doesn't and wont hate you, she is bright and knew what was happening", I didn't reply so he left on his own accord.

I needed a distraction so I took myself down to the dungeons and killed a few prisoners just for the fun of it, in cold-blood maybe one could say. How had she got so powerful? Able to kill so many with a single curse, even then she was supposedly drowned of all her magic, this could be good or bad in the long run…

...

I sat up straight breathing heavily and feeling scared, I looked around uneasily at the unfamiliar surroundings, where the hell am I? I noticed a couple of beds opposite me and everything seemed so…clean and medical, I was in some kind of hospital wing and a small window told me it was evening. No one was about just silence apart from my breaths. How did I get here…I remember being hurt a lot and then something new, so much power, it felt so good when I felt their deaths. No, no, no! This isn't happening! I don't enjoy the dark arts; I was just confused and weak at the time. That is all, I reassured myself.

I gently turned myself around and slowly put my feet to the floor, I was wearing a midnight blue night baby doll nightdress which flowed lightly on my still slightly scarred skin. Weakly I stood, and made a robe appear, it seems I can use magic again, while rubbing my head I adventured out of the room, avoiding all signs of people in the hope no one would notice me, I just wanted to be alone.

I wondered undetected through the halls, to the main doors to the outside, everything was just so quiet but I knew people were about, servants at work mainly. I gently pushed the front doors open and slid in between outside, so cold; autumn was turning into winter undoubtedly so I muttered a quick warming charm on myself, instantly I couldn't feel the icy air.  
I strolled along the grounds towards the small bridge over the thing stream and sat myself, leaning against the bridge with my feet dangling in the water. The moonlight reflected perfectly off the shimmering water and highlighted the tears falling down my cheeks and leaving light ripples on the water's surface. Tears for my pain and tears from happiness I was back, most of all the tears were from fright, so scared that I was turning into a dark arts obsessed witch without realising it, I was just so good at the 'art'.

"I almost sent a search party for you", the silky voice of Voldemort said behind me before he sat down next to me, "why didn't you stay in the hospital when you woke? I was so worried about you and almost killed one of the healers when I found you were gone"

"I just needed to be alone"

"Tears…", he said before wiping them away from my face, "will not help, they are pointless. So tell me, why do you cry?"

"I don't know, I don't want to be what you want me to be, I don't want to succumb to the darkness but it seems part of me already has, I felt so good when I cursed the Avada Kedavra", I explained, "I don't care if you say you will force me to love it, because I promise you one thing, I will _never_ give in", I promised him truthfully.

"Look at me", he said, "Please", at his small plead I look deep into his eyes. "I just want to know what you feel for me, you always said I never had a heart but that isn't true. I-I missed you, I longed for you, I need you ", he stated simply, startling me slightly.

"I-I…I don't hate you for not keeping to your word for keeping me safe, I don't care that I was tortured so much or that I was unconscious for a while. I care about the fact that I don't want to have so much power, I can't take it anymore, I don't even know what I am capable of! I can't live without knowing"

"I think I should remove your necklace, it's a very dark artefact and very rare, I gave it to you because it gives a sort of 'dark' vibe, I just wanted you to want to be here, not for the magic but for me", he said before muttering a charm, the necklace fell off my neck onto my lap, I sighed in relief as I felt a mental weight lifted out of me. "it might help but it won't that much if it does, but just remember whatever you do is your choice I hope you still trust me"

"I do"

"thank you, you don't have to say it but do you feel anything for me?", he asked quietly, it was strange hearing the dark lord ask such…emotional questions and I knew my answer. I closed my eyes and leaned forward to kiss his lips,.

"yes, always. Forgive me for my outburst?", I whispered, my lips almost touching his, my answer was a kiss which deepened lovingly.

...

For the first time in so long I awoke with her in my arms, her warm body pressed up against my protective self, I breathed in her sweet scented hair and kissed her neck making her stir but not awaken. Thinking best to leave her instead of waking her I got up and walked into the bathroom, already nude, to have a shower.  
In the library after I got changed, Severus came in to see me while I was reading a book, he always seems to be about when he's supposed to be at the ministry, surprisingly though he didn't ever screw things up so I never ordered him to go there.

"Milord I just came to pick up a potions book I left last time I was here", he said while making a book from the table shoot into his hand then pocket, "I am glad to hear she has finally awakened, good news"

"Yes it is, I will be returning to work today, I have missed a lot while this has been going on. But yes, im glad she's conscious and happy and I must say I almost forgot how good a fuck she is", I smirked to a light chuckle by Severus

"well you can't have a wife who can't provide for her husband milord"

"Oh she provides…in the bedroom and duelling area, she is perfect"

"That's good to know she is pleasing then milord"

"yes, I love the fact my slave is capable of so many things…", I replied thoughtfully, "You know you still have control over her...you have done so much lately you should make use of that power over her, actually I think I'd prefer you to be a bit abusive to her then maybe she would prefer to be with me more than she does now. She loves me but I sense she isn't fully happy yet, but it's only been a day since she's been with me since her ordeal…"

"I will be happy to be a bit _abusive,_ she has been a pain to me for a few years even if she has matured since she has been here milord"

"Well Severus that was quite a personal conversation we just had, share it with no one", I said sternly.

"Of course milord", he bowed and apparated. I turned round when I heard a light cough behind me, Hermione stood leaning in the doorway wearing just a black silk robe over her bare body. I licked my lips in excitement at how seductive she looked, unfortunately she looked slightly annoyed.

"We have our ups and downs yet im still fascinated by you", she stated quietly

"What fascinates you?"

"how much knowledge you hold, you manage to rule the whole world…and yet you still find time to convince me you love me, except it's a lie, you love my magic not me"

"That's not true"

"It is and I was a fool not to realise it earlier, as soon as I start to use my magic to hurt and kill people you're all over me! I've already promised you I won't use it when unneeded anymore, don't forget that, maybe it's time you got a mistress, oh yeah I 'forgot', you already have access to as many as you like in the brothel!", she shouted and stormed out, banging the door behind her.

...

I am so stupid, why didn't I think before? Of course he's just interested in my so called talents, that's all really it ever was. That's why I was brought here in the first place but it just left my mind when I started falling for him.  
I overheard his little talk with Snape concerning me, talking about how good I was in the fucking bedroom! The nerve of him talking about me like that to other people! And then saying how he loves that his _slave_ can do so many things, so many terrible things…

_Slave_, is that all I am still? After marriage and our so called love I would have thought he would think more of me than just a slave. Same bastard.

I fiddled with the emerald necklace removed from my neck last night between my fingers, it felt heavier than it did when I was wearing it but also seemed more forbidden. I didn't believe this was the reason I now don't feel guilt or anything when I kill, it was just the overload of power and no control over it really that is making me like that. There is no good and evil, only power, and those too weak to seek it. He was wrong, power can be used for good and evil, it's just the control the person has which decides that.  
I threw it onto the bed and walked out of the room into the hallway wearing just my robe, he hadn't supplied any and I was his _slave_ so I couldn't exactly go against his obvious wishes for me to only wear that, call me a slave then I will act like one, that's what he obviously wants. Yes I love him, doesn't stop me playing the game though.

My robe was barely even a robe, so short it was just showing parts of my thigh dark mark, I made a pair of black panties appear just to stop me humiliating myself but that is all, anything else that goes on display is his problem, jealousy can be a wonderful thing.

No one seemed to be around though, just a few servant girls passed me every now and again, I didn't say a word to them because what could I say? 'I pity you'? I don't think so…instead I muttered a few charms to make the stuff they were carrying lighter or I sneakily fixed their rags, power can be used for good.

Such a shame most people in this now doomed world can't believe that is even possible.  
He's at work, servants at work, deatheaters at work. What am I supposed to do? He would want me to read up on some dark material but I had had enough of all that, I didn't need to learn anymore about that. Instead of going back to the library I ventured downwards, going towards the dungeons, curious about its contents. Azkaban was used as a prison by Voldemort so there couldn't be many if any down there; just curiosity got the better of me.

I got to the stairs, just how I remembered them, the cool air hit my skins raising goose bumps from the chill but also from fear, there was nothing to be frightened of though. Surprisingly no one was guarding in the darkness, the smell of damp filled my nostrils and the pitter patter of rain on the stone floor leaking from outside was all what could be heard.

"Lumos", I whispered, because I had no wand the light just seemed to follow me but lit the whole room.

"Who's that? Seems a bit early to be giving me anything to eat", a familiar, weak but brave voice said from one of the cells. I jumped at the sound of speech, I wasn't expecting it as the whole place seemed empty, I looked through the bars just making out a sitting form not facing me.

"who's that"?, I asked

"I asked you first, you know who I am seeing as I've been here for months! What do you want anyway? I'm growing bored now"

"Harry?", I exclaimed, making his cell light up to see it was indeed him, his mop of black hair had gotten longer and rougher and he had got thinner, he didn't look hurt just ill. He looked up as I called his name and his jaw almost hit the floor.

"Hermione?", he said trying to make sure it was definitely me.

"What the hell are you doing here? I thought you was dead or like in Azkaban or something!", I gasped, falling to my knees and putting my hands around the bars.

"You knew I was here, but I must say I was surprised you disappeared, you stayed hidden longer than me, and how did you do it? I haven't heard any news since being here", he said annoyed, not that happy to see me.

"I didn't know you were here, I did all I could to stay away from here, I did everything. I stayed under a glamour charm in south of France but I was captured and taken to a brothel, don't look down at me, I told you the need to be free from him was great. You don't understand how much I detested being his slave, forced to do his fucking bidding!", I cried angrily.

"A prostitute? I didn't know you could lower yourself"

"you don't and never have understood, even Dumbledore didn't and that's why I killed him", I stated furiously, he still didn't get all what I had gone through.

"Don't say his name! why are you here anyway? Come to piss me off", he said simply

"No, I didn't even know you were here, I thought the dungeons were empty that's why I came, I wanted to be alone. It seems I'm alone even if you are here so im not leaving"

"What happened to make us like this to each other…", Harry sighed, "My best friend for nearly 6 years"

"The dark lord is what happened"

"The dark lord? I thought only deatheaters called him that, oh yeah I forgot you are, well you have the mark _there_", his eyes fell to my thigh and then flickered back up again.

"I'm not a deatheater and have never been and never will be, I am the dark lords slave and wife-but that means nothing, I just have a ring and I don't have to call him master, he still gets to rule me"

"He rules everyone"

"Yeah but everyone doesn't sleep in the same bed as him, everyone isn't his wife and everyone doesn't have day to day problems personally involving him"

"Like what? Does he torture you?"

"He did all the time, but I learnt to not feel it, the cruciatus doesn't affect me anymore but he hasn't tried to anyway lately. Well I haven't really done anything or had the chance to do anything bad, I was kidnapped a few weeks ago and only got back last week, I was unconscious up until yesterday"

"Really? He rescued you then, bet you were all over him"

"No he didn't, I killed everyone who was within 10 metres of me, that's about a dozen without even realising I was capable of it. You think im evil, no im not, I hate what I've been pulled in, I absolutely detest it, but I can still love"

"And what love do you feel?"

"I love him. I know you hate me Harry, but I can't change a thing I have done, everything that has happened is because of him, I wish he didn't just think of me as a slave though, not after what he's said to me in the past…", I said thoughtfully

"You love him? You're not the Hermione I use to know"

"your half right, I have matured, gotten more powerful and I sleep with the dark lord but other than that I'm still the same", I put a light in his cell and made it much warmer, I also transfigured some soft covers for him. "I can't help you get out of here, anyway your better in here than out there, I can help you here though, just give me the chance. I've forgiven you I just hope you can forgive me", I finished and turned to leave.

"Thank you Hermione", he replied, "I do forgive you, though I don't fully trust you I know you've gone through a lot, I was a fool back then"

"yes you were, but that's the past now, I've moved on. So are we going to be civilised or am I leaving?"

I didn't leave and we got on well, I actually felt like we were best friends again.

...

"where is she?", I growled to a servant who just shrugged nervously, she hadn't left the grounds I knew that but I had a rough day and was angry she wasn't there in my chambers waiting for me, pathetic maybe but I didn't care. Maybe it is lame, im wrong to expect her like some common slave…but then I remembered what she heard me say, she thinks I think of her as a common slave.

I don't. I think of her as my beautiful, intelligent wife. Of course she just think im interested in her magic, it was just coincidence that when I started falling for her she started producing strong magic, I loved her mind and personality-something I never thought possible in anyone. It's like she has bewitched me, but not by a spell but by her own true self, every part of her fascinated me, I had to remind myself she had to be controlled.

"elf!", I shouted and a small house elf quickly appeared in front of me with a bow, "find her and tell me where she is", with a few minutes of it apparating it was back.

With the Potter boy now is she…


	8. Confused

_All that i have is all that you've given me  
did you never worry that id come to depend on you  
ive gave you all my love I had in me  
now I found your lying and I can't believe it's true  
Stop-Jamelia  
_

...

"So I found out I passed my OWL's, did well I guess", I laughed

"Well? You probably did better than nearly everyone whose _ever_ walked in Hogwarts!", Harry exclaimed

"Well alright then, I did good", I smiled and handed him some food through his bars. Ever since I had gotten talking to him I realised how much I missed him, my best friend, I made him healthier than he had been in months which he kept thanking me for. He had no wand and was unable to do wandless magic himself, something I was glad I was able to do so easily.

"Isn't this cosy", the icy voice of Voldemort said, Harry quickly looked up and moved back about an inch, obviously months under his imprisonment made him scared but he was very brave for his situation.

"Im allowed to talk aren't I? or is that another restriction you're placing on me?", I said, not getting up or even looking up to him,

"I didn't give you permission to come down here"

"you said I was allowed to venture outside of your chambers, so I did, you didn't say a thing about not coming down here", I replied in a bored tone,

Harry looked at me confused at how easily and causally I back chatted Voldemort without being tortured, Voldemort lowered his hand on my shoulder and gripped it hard.  
"I see you've got all friendly with Potter again, so much for all that 'I'm going to kill him' nonsense", he smirked smugly at Harry's reaction of shock.

"Harry you know what I was going through",

"yeah…yes it's ok Hermione, it doesn't matter really, not anymore", he looked up at Voldemort with a smirk, Harry knew he would be pissed if he 'mentioned' that he was alright with me now. "Have you got a problem with that your royal darkness or whatever they call you"

"You're lucky to be alive, you may think better than to talk down to your leader"

"I'm not lucky to be alive and you aren't my leader, there are things worse than death", Harry sneered, Voldemort crucioed him and kissed my neck with his wand still on him, it disgusted me how he got pleasure from others pain, his fingers trailed down my robe to my breasts which were only protected by the thin material of the robe. Harry's scream went through me but I was powerless to stop it, I pulled away from him though, his strong hands holding me still. He released the spell as Harry gasped for breath and removed his lips from my neck. "you have no idea what I am capable of"

"you know how much I hate screams yet you do it on purpose, you are trying to tell me something but it's unclear what you're getting at", I snarled and healed Harry, "You do it to try and get obedience from me, it's not going to happen ever! I never wanted to be here, but lately I started to enjoy being with you, but still you're the same dark lord. You were so good to me but yet you only want what benefits you! Think of someone else for a change, I'm your wife but if you want to treat me like a slave then I will act like one, because I don't care anymore!", I raged and stalked off out without another look.

I wish I hated him.

...

"She won't always be there for you Potter, I doubt I will allow her down here anymore, I would have killed you ages ago but death seems like a luxury for you, I prefer your pain. Remember Potter, she is _mine_"

"Maybe, but treating her like that isn't going to have her be yours willingly-no matter what you say or do, you don't care for her", Potter said through clenched teeth,

"I always get what I want, I already have her and she loves me. Does that hurt to know you ex-best friend, who _you_ loved now has fallen for the dark lord? I despise you and would pleasantly enjoy torturing you for hours on end but I won't, do you know why? It's because you're wrong, I do care for her even if you don't believe it", I retorted and glared down at his pathetic self. "Don't expect myself or her around, the only ones to see you are the house elves, enjoy yourself", I smirked and apparated to my study.

I hated that boy but I kept him alive to see him suffer, killing him would be his escape and I _always_ have the control, he being alive was my control. Every now and again when I was bored I went down and tortured him, I sometimes killed a few other prisoners who were sometimes in there as well, but Potter was the only one which ever lived. Being fed only once a day and living in cold conditions was just enough to keep him alive without giving him any luxury, he was lucky I didn't turn him into a servant but he had a no-point-in-living life anyway.

Hermione disappointed me though, maybe I truly believed she hated him, but no, she forgave and forgot. The look in her eyes, disgust, as I tortured him, she still doesn't realise I am the dark lord and I can do what I wish. She will learn that I may be good to her but I won't be to others, I won't apologise, ever. I should punish her for walking out but I prefer her when she's happy around me, adding to her 'hate' will do nothing of benefit to me. What did she mean when she said I only do things which benefit me? Of course I do! I am the fucking dark lord and have worked all my life to get to a position where everyone is ruled by me.

From such a young age I knew I was special, I wasn't like the other children, I was better than every student at Hogwarts! Even when I was a teenager I was able to open the chamber of secrets, murder my father, make my first horcruxes and excel in every subject, my 'peers' were terrified of me and those who slept in the same dormitory as me called me their lord, knowing full well that if they disrespected or went against me, I could easily crucio them.  
Those were the days; I half chuckled and sipped a glass of elf made wine which was already waiting for me when I arrived. She will learn someday, she's already confused with love and hate, both strong words, hate I have always used whereas love I have only used…felt since I met her.

Love…such a pathetic emotion but it can't be helped, now I've learnt that, I indeed love her and would kill to keep her safe. I really wanted to go to her and give her a kiss but I wouldn't, I had shown too much weakness lately I had to show her I was still in charge.

I am still in charge. I am. I rule the world, my empire and her life.

...

I can't believe him, so fucking evil! I sighed and collapsed to the floor outside some random room and closed my eyes as tears fell.  
"why can't things be more simple?", I sighed

"after all this time you still as that question", I heard Snape say standing opposite me, I opened my eyes slightly to see his silhouette in the doorway of the room I sat in front of. When I fully opened my eyes and rubbed away the tears I couldn't help but blush when I noticed he was just wearing his boxers, he had such a good body, I would never have guess he was hiding that under his robes. When I noticed I was checking him out I blushed even further but looked away, pretending I had to wipe a few more tears, I caught the smirk on his face though.

"What do you want?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing, this is my room and your sitting opposite it", he nodded his head back into his room and back again, I almost laughed.

"Your room? don't you have your own castle or something?", I rolled my eyes disbelievingly

"Very funny, I do have my own place but I have a room here as well, I'm here most days so the dark lord gave me a place to stay and do research if he thinks he may need me quickly, not that it's any business of yours"

"so your 'on call' like a lapdog", I sniggered and stood myself up, "I'll be going then", I turned to leave but my feet were glued to the floor, "What the?"

"You haven't apologised", he said sternly but almost yawning at the same time

"for what? Look just let me out now", I could do it myself but the fact that he did it made me want him to give up.

"Being blatantly rude and disrespectful"

"Im not apologising, I've had enough to deal with let alone having you complaining!", I sneered, "I just had a good day and then you people have to ruin it as you always do!"

"You will apologise"

"What you going to if I don't? crucio me?", I smirked

"I could do many things, you wouldn't like me to force feed you the potion your kidnapers gave you now do you?", it was his turn to smirk.

"You wouldn't", I tried to reassure myself to him, he leaned over and stuck his lips so near my ear I could feel his warmth breathe.

"Try me", he whispered with an evil smirk, I shuddered and released myself from his spell knowing he wouldn't do it and stepped back away from him, "Just beware of my hand, as it might just _slip_ something into your drink…"

"Just leave me alone Snape, im not your student and you're not my professor anymore, you can't punish me and give me detention. Why don't you go and do your new job and run the wizarding world? Or is that too much for you and you have to always hang around here!", I spat angrily. Before I knew it I was pushed up against the wall with his fuming eyes deep into mine, his face no further than a few inches from my own.

"Listen now my _lady_, don't take me seriously if you wish but I've warned you, I will hurt you…a lot if you piss me off, you are wrong because i can punish you. The dark lord has no problem with _anything_ I may wish to do", he growled, his eyes trailing down my robe but then back up at my face, "You have grown…you might want to be more cautioned, I have the power to do whatever I want", he licked his lips in anticipation.

"I was wrong, you have changed. You were just an evil bastard back then but now you're an evil bastard who's also a fucking pervert! You may have the power to do what you want, but I caution you too, I am capable of way more than you would even believe, I wouldn't risk it if I was you", he chuckled before biting my lip and drawing blood.

"My dear you have much to learn, I would quite happily fuck you right here right now, you underestimate me, I am not a professor anymore, I am minister of magic and have done much worse than biting your lip to many", he breathed, the coppery taste of my own blood was making me want to vomit. He did quite frighten me a bit but I did my best not to show it.

"Are you done yet?", I stuttered, he ignored me and started to grope my left breast while still carrying on his conversation, I couldn't do anything, if I refused to do what he wanted I would get pain for disobeying him which meant disobeying Voldemort. He wanted me to just stand there and let it happen, I wasn't stupid, he was challenging me to see how long it would take before I gave in but I didn't, I just stood still waiting for him to finish.

"You should choose to wear less more often, though you're a bit of a whore anyway so I guess you're used to it", before I knew it I slapped him hard across the cheek, out of anger, I didn't know whether to regret it or not. He looked back up to me, his hand slightly touching his cheek and his eyes filled with rage. He lifted his wand and cast an unknown curse on me, I screamed in pain, it felt like the pain the cruciatus gave but the curse, even when I couldn't defend myself, had a bigger affect than it ever had, it was unbearable. It made me temporarily unable to see or hear as I fell to the floor in pain, all I could think was when it would stop and what the fuck is it!

Finally I stopped and I gasped for breathe, my vision and hearing came back, making me fully aware of my situation. I was still in the hallway on the floor and Snape stood over me with a big evil grin across his face, twiddling his wand as if deciding if he should do it again.  
"Did you like it? Just a curse I developed myself, the cruciatus basically but with the added helplessness, you couldn't block it out because you had no idea where and what was going on, you was helpless. Now let me think…oh yes, that means I _can_ torture you without you using your own magic against it", fuck. He wasn't lying, I knew I couldn't mess with him now that he had just unveiled his curse I couldn't defend against.  
"Aren't you going to say something?", he laughed.

"I have nothing to say"

"Good because I'm sick of miss-know-it-all thinking because she's the dark lords wife, she can forget her place"

"Then why do you always turn up so unexpected? I am sick of just wanting to be alone but you have to come alone!"

"I can do what I wish as long as the dark lord is fine with it, he is fine with me going anywhere except his bedroom without permission, so technically you're turning up unexpectedly. You may want to cover yourself up, you never know who's watching", his eyes trailed down my body and I soon realised my robe had feel off one shoulder, baring my right breast so I quickly covered it up in frustration.

"You love to see me hurt and humiliated don't you, I've never done anything wrong to you! So what if I speak my mind? Next it's going to be a crime to think! Please, im not weak I just can't cope with all these different emotions…", I cried, tears fell from my eyes but I didn't care, I pushed myself up to walk away.

"You are a bright and clever girl, I'll give you that but you don't live in the world you still believe you're in, you are in the dark lord's world now. Get used to it and maybe you will fit in and won't suffer", he told me as I walked down the hall, I heard him close the door to his room.

I hate deatheaters, I hate this life, I hate what Voldemort has done to me.  
I just want to be happy yet all I get is sadness, anger and pain.  
I got over the fact that Snape had tortured me, I was too used to it happening it didn't really register, I made my way to the bedroom chambers.

As I opened the door, the rose Voldemort had given me a while ago which I had kept alive through charms was help up to me, held by such familiar hands now. I took it and smelt it's still exquisite scent, my teary eyes trailed into his and before I knew it I was being hugged.

Once again in the arms of the most evil man in the world, yet he didn't _try_ anything, just a kiss on my forehead and not letting go-not that I wanted him to…just yet.


	9. Guess who

_I wanna be with you, gotta be with you, need to be with you  
Chemistry was crazy from the get-go  
_Neither one of us knew why  
We didn't build nothing overnight  
Cuz a love like this takes some time  
Be without you-Mary J

...

I didn't know what else to do except hold her, I had done a lot of things to her head and she was just getting more confused and frustrated by the day. Snape had tried out his curse on her, I wasn't too worried about that but I started to see what the Potter boy was talking about. Eventually she is going to learn to hate me once again, I don't want that, she doesn't realise how much I need her…how much I love her.

"What do I do milord?", she whispered with a tear, it pained me when she called me that, everyone called me it but she wasn't everyone, "Tom, please I need something other than what keeps happening, every day I feel hurt-not from a curse but from your actions"

"I know and though I won't change I promise not to hurt you anymore", I let go of her and wipe away the tears.

"Unless you truly have to", a small smile played across her face, her beauty grew even more.

"you don't know how much I love you", I said stunning myself as well as her at the 'unlike me' statement just given,

"I don't think you know how much I love you", she echoed and gave a curtsey with a grin then a kiss on my cheek, "thank you, for all that you've done for me. I know when I was first brought here I was just a slave and we hated each other, I like to think it's changed, I know I've changed emotionally but im still me"

"I know and I'm glad, but remember I am the dark lord, I kill and torture people and im not changing. If you don't like that then im afraid I can do nothing, I'm not changing my principles or whole life", I warned and she gave a nod.

"I understand, I can't and won't try to change that. Just don't involve me, please", she pleaded, I nodded my head and she smiled again, "I know it isn't want you want, but I can't do it, you know-"

"I know", I finished, "I won't force you, I would have a few months ago yet you've changed how I feel, you won't ever change me as I won't change you, but you've affected me",

"I know this is really what you want to hear right now, but can I see Harry again? Please, I know you hate him and you hate me seeing him but he's the only friend I have", I considered her for a moment as she held her rose close to her body.

"Only when I give specific permission, I don't trust him and I want to know where you are without searching"

"ok, that makes sense", she kissed my lips and touched her hands in my hair, I placed mine on her waist, "But you know im angry as well as being upset, you've cheered me up but it's going to take something more than that to get rid of this anger! I hate Snape and I hate how I'm treated here", she growled which made me chuckle.

"So what do you suggest we do?", I smirked and kissed her once again.

An hour or so later she lay in my arms on top of the bed covers, "something like that?", I asked while stroking her hair with a smile, are legs tangled together and are hearts pressed up so close to each other.

"Yeah that's about right", she breathed happily. She had been so fierce I loved it; for once she was the one who was rough and letting off some steam. She was still submissive in the bedroom department but that's how I liked it, her filled with anger and passion just spiced it up, she looked so sexy when she had a temper-even if she didn't realise it.

Her eyelashes obscured her eyes from view, when I think about it, if I hadn't of known of her magic and knowledge I wouldn't have kidnapped all that time ago-yet her beauty would have made sure I would have her anyway.

Maybe I was a little harsh on her with Severus, I knew he cares for her but he has a taste for a woman to be at his feet, in pain usually even if unintentionally. He is the only one I would allow to hurt her, I made a deal with him that if he carries on his work for me as well as being minister he could have access to my wife, it didn't bother me as long as he got on with it and she didn't complain to me. Of course I knew she would but maybe she will cool it off now; she knows how I feel I just hope she knows how much others care as well.

"Thank you", she said

"what for?"

"For not getting angry with me for being moody and emotional. I feel like sleeping"

"Then rest milady", I kissed her hand as she started to drift off

"goodnight milord", she finished with a smile.

...

"morning", I heard him say cheerfully, the smell of fried eggs and toast filled my nose as I opened my eyes slowly. Voldemort sat up next to me holding a tray of food, "breakfast in bed", I rubbed my eyes to check I wasn't still dreaming and pulled myself up to a sitting position.

"This isn't like you, is there a reason may I ask?"

"You may and why should I have a reason to have my wife eat breakfast with me in the comfort of our own bed?"

"I guess not" ,I smiled, "but you are in a very good mood, any reason other than the excuse you just made?"

"well there isn't a specific reason, I'm sorry but I missed your birthday so I thought I'd let you celebrate it today, even if it is a bit late", he muttered. Birthday? I had forgotten they even existed, "I took the liberty of having a party of sorts for you"

"a party?"

"Yes, it's another word for a social gathering of celebration", he said sarcastically with a smile.

"I know what it is! It's just its so unexpected, I wouldn't have the dark lord would be the party type but seeing as you had a number of celebrations unexpectedly I guess I was wrong"

"yes well I like a break from killing people, maybe some fun will do us both good"

"you a really curious person, but I love it that you're so mysterious and interesting", I kissed him on the cheek as he put his arm around me, he was all three of those things, but he was definitely the most interesting person I had ever met-even if he did get pleasure from others pain. I shared my breakfast with him and just enjoyed being there, we didn't speak but I didn't want to, his presence was enough.

"Before I forget, your necklace, I feel I should let you wear it again, it doesn't affect you as much as I originally though... you don't have to but it still would come in useful…", he brought out the necklace with the emerald heart pendant, I nodded happily and he placed it carefully round my neck. "do you want me to change back your appearance?"

"What do you mean?"

"I changed it so you would have darker hair and crimson eyes as well as bigger-"

"no. this is still me, what you changed doesn't change that, I still look like me with just added…assets", I replied, "I am not a little Hogwarts student anymore, I am the dark lords wife and that's how I want it to stay and be known as". This was me now, going back to old appearances would be like going back in time.

"You are perfect you know that, my beautiful wife, you wear so many things to tell others what you are and now you actually seem to enjoy the attention"

"not exactly but I'm not ashamed anymore", I said boldly yet truthfully, "I've accepted it, just sometimes it's hard…"

"I know it's not easy, I hope it won't always be so hard for you", he said before lightly sucking on my neck, I moaned in pleasure as his fingers trailed across my body, "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, and I apologise beforehand as you know I will probably hurt you a lot more in the future though I don't mean to, forgive me?"

"Yes, it's in your nature to cause pain, and even if I do get upset or angry with me, well…ill get over it as I always do, I will remember how generous you have been", I said seriously but laughed as well, "is everyone going to be there?"

"yes I want everyone there"

"including Snape"

"yes but he will do no more than dance", he smirked, "I will get you a dress delivered to your room later, it shall be in the great hall around eight"

"ok then", I sucked my finger and gently slid it along his chest making him moan in anticipation, but I pushed myself out of the bed making him groan. "If you are in such need for a quickie I suggest popping round you-know-where, if not…maybe I'll give you a thank you present tonight", I said seductively and strolled to the bathroom for a shower.

After a good scrub and smothered in scents of lavender and other floral smells, I got out and wrapped myself in a towel then went into the library. I didn't bother to get changed seeing as I was supposed to get ready for the party tonight, I didn't want to get changed to early as not to risk damage to my dress-not that it was likely it would be. He had left a love bite on my neck but I didn't want to remove it, just wanted to leave it to heal by itself, just below my ear, it wasn't a mark of ownership, it was a mark of passion and love.

In the library I picked up a random book from a shelf as I had no actual book I needed to read, I settled down on one about animagi. I found it interesting how hard it seemed but it didn't look like it need to take as long as Harry's dad and co took, I had never wanted to actually become an animagus myself but I kept it in my head from maybe sometime in the future, you never know.

After a while of reading and being served birthday cake from a house elf "especially from master miss!" making me laugh I got up, the plate with only a few chocolate crumbs left lay on the table by an empty mug of butterbeer.

In the bedroom across the bed was a grand cream and gold ball gown, studded with gold, cream, brown and diamond like gems, all sparkling in the light. The thick material when I pulled it on fell past the gold shoes I wore, the skirted part trailed round me massively and yet the waist band was tight and fitted, pushing my breasts up showing off a lot of cleavage. I rolled my eyes as he always has me wear clothes which showed them off, typical Voldemort but I didn't hate him for it anymore, these followers of his had seen enough of my body it didn't bother me that my breasts were basically falling out of the dress-not anymore.  
I placed a golden tiara which glimmered beautifully and picked up a mask, obviously he had forgotten to mention it was a masked ball, I carefully put it on, just covering my eyes and encrusted with many gems matching my dress.

I looked into the mirror and saw how elegant and lady like I look but overall I looked pretty sexy, I laughed at the thought and played with my hair. A few charms and my hair gained a few curves and curls, reminded me of my old hair just without the uncontrollable nature. I didn't need any makeup yet I wanted to make the effort so I reddened my lips and made my eyes smoky looking under my mask.

I sat relaxed in my study offering a drink to the blonde man across my table; he was well groomed and took pride in his appearance-a long opposite of certain other followers of mine…

"You wanted to see me milord?", he asked

"Yes it may seem unexpected but I'm ordering you to take a break, you have worked so hard but too much can take its toll, I do not want one of my best men affected by exhaustion", I took a sip from my drink and settled it down.

"Thank you milord but I enjoy my work, there is no need-"

"yes there is, even I have a break every now and again, I'm still on full alert yet I make time to spend for my own personal enjoyment in the privacy of my own home. You _will_ take a break for a week or so and I will hear no more about it, of course I will send an owl if you are in some way needed"

"Thank you milord, you are generous"

"you know that's exactly what she said earlier, maybe im losing my touch", I smirked, "But no, I reward those who deserve it but I can be cruel if I want to be", the man opposite wore a matching smirk and raised his glass.

"To the dark lord and all his successes", he announced and took a sip before settling it down.

"I appreciate that", I said and he nodded his head, "well you may have heard I am having a celebration for Hermione's late birthday, so I must leave to get ready, dress to impress as it were"

"Milord…I apologise if im being to bold but seeing as it's a masked ball and all, maybe it would be possible for me to come? It has been so long since I have enjoyed some time socialising with everyone properly", the man asked politely, I considered his wish for a second before nodding my head.

"Yes, I see no problem, as long as you don't reveal yourself to Hermione, she has no idea you are alive"

"Of course milord", he got up and bowed

"You have done well, I thank you for all you have done, although everyone knows I thought Hermione may not understand, but it will be good to see you in something other than deatheaters robes, it has been as you say, some time since _all_ of my followers have been together"

"Thank you and good day milord"

"Good day Lucius"


	10. Surprises

_It's so unbelievable,  
And I don't want to let it go,  
Something so beautiful,  
Flowing down like a waterfall.  
I feel like you've always been,  
Forever a part of me.  
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,  
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.  
Craig David-Unbelievable  
_

...

I watched her from afar as she entered the hall, she looked so lost and confused yet stunning at the same time, I marvelled at her beauty yet didn't approach her, I thought it would be interesting to see how she copes without knowing who and where I am. I chose the colours she should wear so she would stand out, her tiara just made her look like a dainty princess but I knew how tough and rough she can be when she wants to.  
I stood in black and silver trimmed robes and a black eye mask studded with diamonds. I can look good if I want to and I knew I had a number of admirers, maybe because of my magic, maybe because of my looks or maybe just out of fright, it didn't bother me at all though. Such trivial things…

I kept my eye on Lucius making sure he stayed well away from Hermione, or at least didn't unveil himself, he wore a blue mask which covered his face completely but his hair was obvious. I hoped that because Hermione thought him dead she wouldn't reckon it to be him, it's impossible to bring back the dead. I didn't want Hermione to know I didn't kill him, it would just anger her and it was bad enough at the time of his supposed death that she was scared to death of him and believes it was him who raped her, at the time I thought she wouldn't understand or believe a word I would say.

Everyone was masked, I thought it a good idea because it was so different than the usual celebrations I hold, everyone danced with everyone and it felt more relaxed. I made sure Hermione was well protected though; I had a number of people on watch because I wasn't having another kidnapping. I was glad I wore a mask, Bellatrix was definitely after me and although I could order her to leave me alone or torture her, I it amused me to see her wanting me. Bellatrix...many would say she was my near equal in thirst for torture, the thing was that she was nowhere near my equal in power-nor intelligence, that's where Hermione makes perfection.

Everyone knows Lucius is still alive, his wife and he separated but he still lives in his manor yet they never speak, so stupid. I invited Narcissa along as she has been loyal to me, although not a deatheater; she was a follower through and through.

...

I knew he wouldn't show himself! I didn't bother to waste my time searching for him however, this was supposed to be my night and I was going to enjoy it. It was mainly ball room songs playing, calming and beautiful but I knew I had to get some more upbeat stuff later. A tallish man took my hand with a bow and asked for a dance which I happily accepted, and there began many hours on my feet with random people I had no idea of their identities. They seemed to know me though as I got a lot of bows and curtseys followed by 'milady', like I was a queen or something.

After applauding the end of a song someone caught my eye. His blonde hair was what caught my attention, his face was covered up but I could tell I had never met him before, maybe a new deatheater or follower? I knew Voldemort was watching me, I could feel his gaze although I had no idea where he was.

I walked behind him as he finished a conversation with an old looking man and tapped him on the back,  
"I don't think we've been introduced", I curtseyed with a smile, he looked down at me and kissed my hand with a bow.

"We haven't, but what a fine lady you are"

"thank you, you are a gentleman; I must say I feel like I recognise that voice but I can't place it…"

"I've been working undercover for a while, this is the first time I've been to one of the dark lords celebrations for a year or so"

"shame, you seem nice but im curious to who are you?"

"im on strict orders not to give away my identity from the dark lord, we can't have everyone knowing the identity of an undercover deatheater can we now…", he lowered his voice to my ear, I defiantly recognised that voice, one I hadn't heard in a while but I just couldn't place it. I was growing more curious by the second and had an urge to just rip off his mask, "you love the dark lord don't you"

"That's a bit personal...", I narrowed me eyes slightly, "but...you could say so, he's still an evil bastard even if I do love him"

"Well you haven't changed much but I see you've finally learnt to respect your supreme's…", now that sounded too familiar. I backed away and studied him more carefully.

"You!", I gasped, stepping back further, visibly worried and nervous as I realised it was Lucius! I saw Voldemort kill him, I saw his body! "no, no…this isn't real", I whispered and turned then moved as fast as I could out of the hall. Im dreaming…that man is dead! He is!

When I got back to the bedroom I fell to the floor with my back up against the bed with my head in my hands, what is happening here? Suddenly I heard two pops and looked up, Voldemort stood in front of me with his mask and wand in one hand and Lucius stood behind him with his arms behind his back casually.

"This isn't real, he's dead!", I shook my head and assured myself.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner…this _is_ Lucius and no I didn't kill him, I happened to kill a man using a polyjuice potion"

"What do you mean?", I sniffed confused

"It turned out someone took a liking to you back then and took the advantage of using Severus's polyjuice potion stock…I didn't find out until later that day when Lucius came to me confused that he had just woken up in a broom cupboard, no idea how and why he was there", he explained and crouched down to me to stroke the hair out of my face. "I kept Lucius's wellbeing a secret from you because I thought you wouldn't understand...you wouldn't have believed me or would have thought I set it all up. You didn't trust me back then, and I couldn't allow you to move further and further away from me"

"I cant believe this!", I cried

"He has been working undercover in a lot of places lately; you're the only one who believed he was dead...well so did Draco until a few days later, he was rather disappointed"

"I can't believe this, these are not reasons! Can't you at least tell me who actually raped me then? Even if he is dead I want to know, seeing as people are now popping up I don't know what to believe anymore!"

"The person is insignificant and unimportant, a minor follower, you saw me kill him even if you didn't know it was him"

"You kept this from me though, even if _he_ didn't rape me I still have a right to know who did, and I want to know why i wasn't allowed to know that he was alive! It wouldn't have been a big deal back then but now...", I shouted and stood up furiously, "All this time I thought he was dead, but I hate him even if he wasn't the one who did all that to me, he threatened to do it enough and it would have happened anyway! And now I'm told he's still alive"

"Hermione, I kept it from you because at the time you were already confused and hateful to me, I wasn't going to make that worse. You could cope now I knew but I thought it would be too much of a shock for you to find out I kept it from you"

"I don't care! It isn't so much about him being alive, it's the fact you've kept something involving me away from me! I trusted you"

"Are you saying you doing anymore? Because here's a newsflash _dear_, it doesn't matter if you trust me or not, your still mine whatever you think or do!", he sneered before I punched him, actually punched him right on the nose. I looked back down at my fist in shock at how much force I used effortlessly and then back at his very angry face, he held his nose which was visibly bleeding.

"I, I…", I didn't know what to say but muttered a healing charm on it, he looked up and wiped away the blood

"You know I didn't mean that and I know you didn't mean that either", he said in a low tone, "But I would have preferred to not have been punched in the face, I would normally curse you but under the circumstances. I don't want any magical, or muggle way of attempting or actually hurting me in future, I think a few simple charms will stop that".  
I looked down out of guilt, anger and just feeling a bit sad, "Lucius seeing as she knows that you are alive and well, all restrictions I gave you are now lifted, you have done well over the past year and I offer you the same agreements as I've had with Severus, you know what they are."

"Thank you milord", he said cheerfully with a nod, I looked to him to see he looked the same as he always did but with a look of happiness in his face.

"I am not angered by you revealing yourself like I thought I would be, it will be for the better when she gets over it now i look at it",

"I can't believe you kept this from me, you don't realise how angry I am", I sneered as I looked away

"I do but I'm not having you moping about until I apologise because i can promise you that i won't, I will be awaiting yours though", I turned back around quickly, desperately want to give him a fat lip or a black eye.

"You will be waiting for a very long time then"

"we'll see, now tell me why you hate Lucius so much as you are angry at him as well as me. I am in no mood for sarcasm"

"I don't trust him, I know he has a problem with me just as much as I do with him!", I sneered, "I don't care what you say, he had it in for me anyway and I doubt he has changed that", I saw Lucius smirk behind Voldemort angering me even more, "Listen here Malfoy, if you lay even one finger on me I will hurt you so bad-"

"no you won't", Voldemort interrupted, I turned back to him to show how pissed off I was.

"what do you mean?"

"You can't use your magic without my permission for anything other than simple everyday tasks, if it's not a curse or jinx it's ok"

"why would you do that!", I cried furiously, attempting to crucio Lucius but it didn't work, "Fuck"

"you still haven't learnt to control your magic, I'm not risking deaths of anymore followers by your hand", he said referring to the Lestrange brothers, "you have just proved you're hardly capable of even controlling your muggle actions, you have Basilisk venom in you, learn to control it or else. Seeing as you are likely to attempt to kill Lucius as well I would prefer you powerless to even attempt anything, i don't think you should be able to defend yourself either, because i know you'll will somehow turn that into an attack"

"So what do I do if anyone attacks me?", I asked annoyed

"Don't worry about that, I know when you're in pain and I have more protection on you than you think, so if you suffer when I know you're not supposed to be you will be helped or rescued, you will never be in danger of any sort"

"so your basically saying, Im not allowed to defend myself as long as its 'organised' torture?", I questioned angrily,

"Not exactly but on the right lines, when you learn to get rid of all this anger and take it out on people who deserve death and torture then I may rethink, for now I can't see you able to control it"

"I can't believe this, you know I can! Just excuses and your trying to make me want to hurt innocent people again, so much for fucking caring for me!", I stormed out and banged a few doors on the way out, I hate Lucius Malfoy.

...

"it's all for the best milord", Lucius stated

"she will come round, im glad now she knows I never killed you, she is mature but she can't handle people who practise the dark arts excellently, you are one of those people"

"as are you milord, better than Salazar himself if I may say so"

"you are too kind Lucius but she is used to me now, she fears my magic not me, she doesn't fear your magic, she fears you. You think I'm easy on her"

"of course not milord-"

"do not lie, I would torture anyone who even attempted to harm me any way, yet I let her off. Why do you think that"

"er, erm…she's your wife and you want her to trust you"

"she already trusts me, but there are too many obstacles to gain her full self, she has been involved in so many…incidents that I think may change what she feels and thinks, she has been through a lot of danger and pain, I worry that she is getting distant. Ironic that when she first came here she was screaming to be freed now she would scream to leave, I wanted her to want to be here and now she does, but there is a risk that will change I feel"

"She loves you milord, she has admitted it a million times, she told me even just before she ran off to here!"

"The thing I have learned with love is that it may be hard to be loved, it's even harder to keep it, surely you know all about that now", I mentioned his wife's break up, it made me think how love doesn't last if it's not worked on. "If you fall in love you can still climb back out, you need to weigh her down with trust, love and commitment. She's pissed off but she has to remember who I am, Severus's cruciatus curse will come in useful…", I smirked. I was willing to hurt her to train her in obedience or punish but I began to realise how much I needed her to remember how I feel.

"you are correct of course milord, I loved my wife very much, though I was a bastard I admit, I know she loved me as well, it's not what I did what hurt her it was how I never spent time with her"

"I always see Hermione"

"I know milord, but I've learnt a woman wants more than that, don't just show or tell her how you feel, make her _know_, that's where I went wrong, gifts and magic were never enough", Lucius said seriously then laughed, "but of course I was bound to screw up", and he had.

"Thank you Lucius, maybe I expect nothing that I have said will leave this room", I raised an eyebrow and he nodded, "you may leave then", a bow and a pop then he was gone. I turned to look at the door Hermione had stormed out through, I wasn't going to let her fall out of love, when I think now how much I have hurt her…

...

That bastard, lying to me about him, I hate Lucius even if he didn't do all that stuff to me and now I find out he's not fucking dead! Voldemort just had to make things worse by then saying he can't risk me torturing or killing anyone, I do have _some_ control…just when im angry I can't help it, im not exactly going to kill people for the fun of it and he knows it.

I wish I was mortal, not that I wanted to kill myself it was just the fact I wanted to be normal. It doesn't matter if I could die anyway, heaven won't want me and hell will be afraid to take me, I'd be in limbo.

I know Voldemort won't tell me everything, he is the dark lord after all but to keep something which directly involved me away from me? I just _know_ Lucius will do something to me…eventually. Before I thought he was dead he threatened to do so many things to me, so much I know I can't trust him, he may have Voldemort fooled but not me. I could see the twinkle in his eye when Voldemort announced that he wouldn't give me magic to defend myself.


	11. Conversations

_It's so clear now that you are all that I have  
I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have_

There is a darkness deep in you  
A frightening magic I cling to

Give me a chance to hold on  
All I have-Snow patrol

...

"I haven't got a problem with him, it's you, Lucius isn't my problem anymore and I don't really care, he and anyone can do what they want it just doesn't matter", I said simply to Voldemort in the library about an hour later. He didn't even say a thing when he entered but I just wanted to get it across, I'm sick of them.

"I see"

"you don't believe me, I can tell, I have learned a bit of legilmency and you haven't bothered to use occlumency in my presence, don't just assume things", I stated with a smirk, he knew I could practise occlumency but he never knew about the other. I quickly noticed he hurriedly bordered up his mind making me smirk even more, "what is it that you want then?"

"I came to talk but seeing as you don't seem to care"

"I do just not about him or any other deatheaters, why does everything have to involve others? It was you who brought that bastard back into my life but I've just told myself not to worry about it, I've had bigger problems than him"

"then why are you so angry?"

"Because _you_ keep changing! Sometimes you're nice, sometimes you treat me like shit…I'm used to it now, but…"

"That is me, I may change them things but I won't change myself for you, you haven't changed yourself for me"

"I have! I've killed people, I've hurt people, I've been sleeping in the dark lord's bed! I feel I've betrayed everyone"

"you said you didn't care about the order anymore-"

"not them! I mean everyone! All my friends at Hogwarts, people I just knew, everyone relied on me to not succumb to you but I failed", I cried.

"you haven't as you still seem to refuse anything involving the dark arts, just remember there is no such thing as good and evil…only power"

"I don't want to believe that but my mind seems too, when Dumbledore gave me veritaserum I said them exact words"

"Because its real, when I was a teenager I never dwelled in the dark arts just to be good at dark magic, I wanted power and that was the best way to do that, people are scared of me. Surely you understand that, I have offered you so much, you are already referred to as 'milady', would you like to truly be the dark lady?"

"I'm not interested, I want to be here but I don't want anything to do with that, if you have a problem with that you are going to have to throw me in a dungeon or something because I am not changing that"

"It's your choice, now why are you still angry?"

"well for one I don't exactly appreciate the fact I can't even defend myself, cant you at least give me that!", I rolled my eyes with my arms crossed

"ok"

"what?", shocked at how simply he agreed, he's got to be joking

"you heard me, you can do what you like but I'm still not letting you use anything to harm others, if I do that will you stop getting pissed off at every little thing?", he raised an eyebrow which slightly annoyed me but I wasn't going to be like that anymore. I couldn't be the girl who got upset or angry all the time, I guess deep inside I really thought someday all this would be over, I was in love but I had to get over it. I nodded slowly.  
"Good, because I still haven't given you your birthday present", he brought out a black longish, thin box out of his robe and held it out.

"You're kidding right?", I said surprised with my eyebrows raised,

"I don't kid, I can give you it can't I?"

"Well I guess, but why would you get me a present?"

"Because that's what most people receive on a birthday if I'm not mistaken, I have never received a gift but you liked your necklace last time so I hope you will enjoy this even more, I've already said I prefer you happy than sad", he replied smoothly and passed the box into my hands.

Carefully and slowly I prised it open with my fingertips and looked in curiously, I couldn't believe my eyes. My old wand, vine wood and dragon heartstring, I hadn't seen it in so long I had almost forgotten what it was like to use a wand, "why would you give it back?", I asked still unbelieving that it was real.

"Because I thought you'd prefer it, it was yours anyway after all I just kept it safe; I believe you have earned the right to use a wand. I know you don't need it but it can give you more control and if used correctly much more power. So do you like it?"

"Yes! Yes, thank you", I smiled and held the wand tightly in my hands, savouring the feel in my fingertips for a moment before casting a simple levitating charm on a nearby book. Nothing was more satisfying than using your own wand, I just couldn't stop beaming, I completely forgot about my mood with Voldemort.

"I am glad that you will find it of use to you, just don't attempt anything dangerous, you know you can't so don't bother"

"I know and I won't, I'm not stupid. Erm Tom…I know this is a bit random but, well, how do you think we're going to end up?", the thought just popped into my head

"what do you mean?"

"well, though we can't die, eventually something's going to keep us on a steady line instead of going up and down, were already married so what do you think?"

"I see you happy, loved and cared for and maybe one day it won't just be the two of us", he murmured with a smile, I rolled my eyes with a grin.

"don't count on it anytime soon!", I laughed and muttered a few random charms just to try out my wand, "I guess I should forgive you for Lucius"

"I thought you already had"

"yeah well I was lying, now I'm telling the truth, even check out my mind if you want, I don't exactly have much to hide", he knew I wasn't lying, I meant it. Just no point in always having something to be angry with him for, I need to get over the fact that I want to be happy even if it is wrong, but what is wrong anymore?  
"But I still hate Lucius and I don't trust Snape either, but I promise I won't take it out on you ok?"

"Yes it would be preferable if you hated them instead of me", he smirked and admired my wand work at juggling books, "most people read books instead of doing that you know"

"I've already read them so it's ok, I'm not one to turn down a book for reading though, surely you know that by now"

"I knew that before I even met you"

"what do you mean?", I asked confused and settled down the books neatly in a pile, "you only ever knew about Harry didn't you?"

"No, I spent quite a few months tracking, planning and finding out things about you, after I found out the magic you possessed and the potential you had. You were at Hogwarts so it was near impossible to even get a glimpse of you, I didn't even know what you looked like until I got a few photos from my spies, that's when I made the plan to get Potter to the ministry knowing full well you would go also"

"well I didn't expect that, I suppose I just forget that if I didn't possess such magic I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't even exist in your head, well never mind…what did you know about me?"

"you are the brightest witch of your age, but from personal experience I can say you are the most intelligent, powerful witch I have ever known to have ever lived"

"that is quite a compliment, thank you"

"I also knew the subjects you took, who your friends and family were and other details. I know you were petrified by the basilisk from the chamber of secrets, I apologise I think because it was me who sent it out even if it wasn't the current me, but you worked out what it was so you didn't die. I know you solved part of the way to the Philosopher's Stone, you travelled through time with a time-turner and rescued the fool Sirius Black, you had a fling with that Krum boy in your fourth year and you came up with the idea of the DA or whatever it was called-"

"-wow, you know a lot", I said astounded

"you were a prefect, you had a cat named Crookshanks, you were almost killed by a troll, your patronus is an otter, you-"

"-I get it, you know an unusual lot about me", I laughed, "you sound like a stalker, well you had others to do the stalking for you"

"I wanted to know _everything_, I always intended to use then dispose of you, but I I fell", I grinned even more, "in love unexpectedly"

"you sound like a teenager"

"well I was one once and you still are, even after all you have experienced but you are not a child anymore"

"I know that, I've gone through things most people don't do in a lifetime yet I'm still here, alive…unable to die…will you ever release me from that?"

"no", he simply stated, "I worked so hard to get you, to keep you here, to have you safe and now I care for you more than anything I have ever known"

"ok just maybe someday I will want to move on from this life, I haven't got a horcrux but I'm kept alive because half my soul is inside of you, basically a horcrux without the death", I sighed, I didn't want to die anytime soon but it would be nice to think I won't always be here. He looked a big angered by my remark but didn't say anything, "come on Tom, seriously, we aren't alike, I'm not interested in living eternity or whatever"

"when I die then you will die, I'm not going so neither are you and that's a promise, I can give you more freedom in time but never death", he growled. I nodded slightly knowing not to argue, knowing it's never going to happen, knowing there is no point in getting upset about it.

"Thank you for all what you have done for me though, you are the dark lord yet you treat me so well"

"I didn't think I would, but once I started to get to know you I wanted you to like being here, I thought I was being stupid, acting like a fool-", I silenced him with a kiss on the lips

"thank you", I smiled and sat down, "if you wasn't how you are I wouldn't feel for you, I hate the things you do yet you still managed to seduce me a few times before I even liked you let alone love you"

"I have always had a gift with the ladies", he smirked

"have you always had a gift for being a bighead also?", I laughed sarcastically

"the girls always tried to flirt and seduce me back in school, everyone was scared of me so they just hoped that because I slept with them they could be treated differently, of course they weren't but I was good looking as well anyway"

"you are a bighead, but you can't say you _were_ good looking because you're pretty damn hot now", I giggled, "even if that does make me sound like a little kid"

"I could say the same for you. But I must say I am impressed with Draco, he has almost triumphed me with the amount slept with…being head boy gives him the advantage with his own room as well as being a deatheater"

"he is going to get what's coming to him, well I'll probably end up punching him for some reason again, nearly every times we've spoken I've slapped or hit him…but when I punched you just earlier I didn't even realise I was doing it"

"it's in you, the urge to have power, punching me made you feel powerful did it not?"

"well…I don't know, sort of I guess but I felt so guilty afterwards even though you had pissed me off"

"Finally, you seem to be understanding that to get power others must feel scared or small to you, you may argue against that all you like but that's how it is in this day and age"

"I'm still not doing anything like that, I don't want to do all that, we've had this discussion so many times!"

"I know and I'm not asking you to, I brought you here to use you for all your magic, but now I have won the war with the world as my prize I don't need your magic in that way, it would be very useful but I am giving you the choice. I want you to trust me"

"I do, just…please don't keep things from me, Lucius was too big a shock, it was like bringing him back from the dead", I murmured

"he won't hurt you for no reason, he won't touch you…no one rapes my wife"

"that's comforting. I'm growing tired so I think I'll go to bed, thank you again for my wand, it's the best gift you have given me"

"better than the pendant?"

"the pendant is wonderful but to have my own wand back…well I appreciate it", I thanked, "I still owe you a present from what I remember earlier, tomorrow" I finished to a slightly disappointed dark lord, I kissed his forehead before going back to the bedroom. A long conversation but it was good to have more things in the open, I went to sleep that night much happier than I thought I would be after finding out about Lucius. I couldn't hold a grudge; I had no time for anger these days, not anymore.

...

"Did I miss something milord? You seem in a different mood than usual", Severus's voice I could hear from the doorway.

"You always seem to turn up…but I am in a different mood, Hermione was happy, then angry, then confusing, then normal, I'm starting to believe she enjoys confusing me"

"woman, all they are good for is to serve their master in my head, but of course yours is worth so much more than that milord. I still can't get over the fact when she first came here she was a terrified innocent school girl, and then you look at her now…"

"yes I know she has changed emotionally and well physically in certain places but her mind is still the same, she has the same personality and same spirit, no matter how much I tried to break it"

"I know, and yes she doesn't like me but she is quite irresistible milord"

"I will tell you what you what I told Lucius then, the nearest inside her knickers you will get is a touch of her breasts", if he was disappointed he didn't show it, he had mastered the art of secrets and keeping things to himself. "You can find something in that brothel of yours"

"yes milord, is Hermione settled now about Lucius? If you don't mind me asking"

"I believe so, she was very angry at first but seemed to calm down a bit, she says he doesn't bother her but I know he does"

"if he wasn't a deatheater he would be a sexual predator of some sort, he likes to satisfy his needs. He's just as powerful as me, the same goals but she's just a bit frightened by what he's capable of. I know she doesn't trust me either and is uncomfortable around me, but she likes my intelligence as I was her professor once milord"

"I see, she has never liked either of you but she had more respect for you…I'm thinking of letting her out for the day, closely guarded and heavily protected of course because I get the feeling from her she needs to be somewhere else, I'm escorting her myself as I want to personally protect her"

A while later I was back in the bedroom, watching Hermione asleep in her dream world before I entered the bed carefully, not wanting to disturb her, when I was finally in she turned round to face me but her eyes still shut.

"Goodnight Tom, sir, milord or whatever you are supposed to be to me", she said smugly with a cute smile on her face, I didn't reply but stroked it lightly; she kissed my chin as she couldn't quite reach my lips and fell asleep.  
She isn't angry, she is the most intelligent, powerful and beautiful witch to ever live in my arms peacefully.

This is the life I never thought I would want and thank Merlin I allowed it to happen.


	12. The boywhodidn'tlive

_Well, did I ask too much, more than a lot?  
You gave me nothing, now it's all I got  
We're one, but we're not the same  
Well we, hurt each other  
Then we do it again  
-One-Mary J. Blige and U2  
_

*

"May I see Harry today?", I asked over breakfast in the great hall, he hated the idea of me seeing him but I had to ask at least, I watched him slowly take a sip of some pumpkin juice then settle it down.

"I see no reason why not, an hour maximum. After breakfast", he said mechanically, I dropped my eyes back to my plate sadly.

"He's my only friend, hardly even that really but close enough"

"yes but I kept him alive for him to suffer, seeing you isn't suffering"

"it is when he sees that his old best friend is now wife of his enemy…please, don't be angry about it", he didn't reply but opened up 'The Daily Prophet' and read it casually. Front page was Hogwarts and how it's study of the dark arts had surpassed Durmstrang's, what great news…the mark on my thigh started to burn slightly and I knew it was just because I pissed him off, I carried on eating in silence.

"Thank you for my wand again, I appreciate it a lot", I smiled to change the subject, "It's nearly Halloween, are you planning anything? Not that I'm expecting anything"

"Maybe, why do you ask?"

"No reason, Halloween's next week and I just wondered, I feel a bit ill this morning so I was just hoping if you were having a celebration it wouldn't happen too soon"

"what's wrong? I can have a healer sort you out in no time"

"no I don't need a healer, I don't need potions to get better!", I smiled

"it's your choice, if it's not a big deal", he replied more casually than before.

"I'm going down to see him now seeing as I've eaten and you will obviously be busy during the day"

"well before you go, I would like to see a bit of your wand work, I'm not sure if you are yet capable of controlling it"

"is that a challenge?", I raised an eyebrow making him smirk and settle down his paper, I gasped as I felt magic surge through my body, a duel indeed.

"expelliarmus!", I attempted just to warm up but he lazily flicked it away

"really, is that the best you can do?", he teased and threw a burning jinx towards me which I only just repelled with a freezing charm. It felt so good to be using a wand though, "come on, show me what you are capable of"

I did my best, but I hardly touched him with a curse when I tried, he had allowed me to cause pain but I wasn't able to as he was just too quick! So was I, as he hadn't actually cursed me either.

"You need to improve", he finished and cast something which made me fall backwards onto the floor unable to get up again but I wasn't frozen. He kneeled down to my side, "I should crucio you right now, but you are already helpless, I thought by now you would have been able to at least cast one strong spell on me, you seem so pitiful down here". He really knows how to make me angry…

"You should be more cautious in future then", I smirked and blasted him across the room, easy as that. I heard him whack against the wall and the fall to the floor as I released myself from the floor binding charm and stood up. He was conscious but in pain as he didn't expect it, he raised a hand to his to wipe away some blood and then laughed.

"I shall be", he said as I went over and healed him while he pushed himself up, I hadn't actually hurt him it was just the force of him hitting the stone wall.

"sorry", I muttered

"don't be, it's what I wanted to see from you, I was beginning to think you were weak"

"I'm not weak, it's just you are the most powerful wizard in history, it's not exactly easy"

"you may go see Potter then, I will be away till this evening at the ministry"

"Ok, erm…before you go, well I was just wondering, have you got anti-apparition charms on me? I don't intend to use it as I have nowhere to go even if I wanted to, I just wondered"

"no you don't, don't make me think about changing my mind"

"I won't", I smiled and cleaned off the blood on his robes,

"you may go now, as long as you don't get into trouble, no one's here today but I trust you not to do anything…stupid", I giggled and happily walked away.

It took just a few minutes to get to the dungeons.

"Harry?" I called into the darkened cell and lit the room up; it seemed to have gotten colder since last time.

"'Hermione...what you doing here?" I heard him answer hoarsely, I looked over to see him crouched with a blanket around him looking extremely ill and weak. In the next cell was a hairy prisoner who was unconscious by the looks of it so I just ignored him and went straight to Harry.

"Visiting", I smiled and made the room warmer

"thanks"

"no problem", I opened up his cell and settled myself next to him, he didn't look at me so I put my arm round him, "What's wrong? I haven't upset you have I?"

"no, I'm just sick of living here, I want to die or at least have something to be happy about, something to just make my day", he moaned. I looked into his eyes and he leaned over and kissed me, I didn't know what to do so I let him because that's obviously what he wanted. After several minutes I felt his hand wrap tightly round my neck.

"What the-", I murmured then silenced as I saw he held my wand at my neck, "You did that to get my wand? And I thought you were a friend", I spat.

"I stopped being your friend the day you killed Dumbledore", he sneered,

"he had it coming", I growled making him dig my wand into my neck harder.

"Don't ever say that again, I had sympathy and guilt for you when you were taken, the pain you went through, but now…you're living it up while the world suffers"

"You have no idea what I have gone through, what I still go through!"

"You're with the man you love, you love the evil son-of-a-bitch so you aren't exactly suffering"

"I'm still not free though, I'm still a prisoner regardless if I am his wife and I love him back, I'm still being kept against my will. I would give everything to have things how they were"

"I doubt that"

"Believe what you want but you know I don't need a wand to use magic-"

"Stupefy!", was the last thing I heard.

"Miss! Miss!", a squeaky voice whined above me, I slowly fluttered open my eyes to see a house-elf looking down at me looking very worried, "Miss was unconscious so Pibby woke miss up, Mr Potter has gone!", I got up quickly and looked around. It was true, he had gone and with my wand. I groaned in disbelief and anger, How could he do that to me? I am so stupid.

"How long was I unconscious Pibby? I last remember it being around 10am"

"it is 2pm miss", I stamped my fist against the wall in frustration, he had used my wand and had gone far away probably but I had hunch where he may have gone. I wanted him free but he wouldn't last, the fact he betrayed me didn't stop the anger boiling.

"Does the dark lord know?"

"No miss, Pibby just found miss and woke her up"

"Good, if he asks where I have gone tell him I will be back by nightfall"

"What does miss mean?"

I looked down at the house elf, "I order you not to punish yourself, I'm going to find Mr Potter", I finished and apparated, I didn't think I'd be able to do it but I did. I was able to apparate and land in the right place, I knew I had to return as Voldemort would find me, regardless if I wanted to return or not.

It was freezing and snow was lightly dusting the ground, it was nearly Halloween so I could see a few homes nearby decorated nearby, opposite me stood a sign.

_Godric's Hollow_

I just had the hunch he would have returned here to go to his parents old home, it was probably the only place he _could_ go seeing as he has one of the most known faces in the world. I knew where the house was in this small village as I had researched the place back in my fifth year. I followed the cobbled path through some houses and knew it was at the end, I took a deep breath as I knew I was about to see the place innocent lives were stolen by the man I just happened to be married to.

And there it was, dark and dull against the light autumn village; the top floor was mostly broken away. Where it happened, I just knew Harry was there.

...

"Pibby is sorry master, Miss left before Pibby could stop-"

"Silence! Where has she gone?", I roared at the frail elf, it had come to the ministry to tell me she had gone!

"Miss told Pibby she gone to find Mr Potter master! Mr Potter stunned miss with her wand and went, Pibby woke miss up but she left", it stuttered quickly. I could kill the elf but I had no time, where the hell would she have gone? How could she have left so easily!  
"Master, miss told Pibby she will be back by nightfall", it quickly mentioned just before I apparated down to the dungeons.

...

"You disappoint me Harry", I said clearly into a dark room I knew he was in.

"Expelliarmus!", I heard him shout which narrowly missed me,

"forget it Harry, I risked a lot to come here for you, look…you have nothing here, the whole world knows you so you won't last long at all, you will either die from hunger or cold or you can come back with me"

"I am not going back you, you evil bitch!"

"I have done nothing to you, you are the one who stole my wand and threatened me with it"

"I am not returning"

"that's a mistake. I know you have suffered, but you are going to die here! You have suffered very little compared to me!"

"Crucio!", he screamed which hit me straight in the chest, I ignored it and walked nearer to him. "you really are his little witch aren't you"

"I do what must be done to have some peace in my life, I will never die and I will never be free so I must do what I can to at least be happy on some level"

"you are a traitor"

"no I'm not"

"yes you are, but don't worry, the light got our small revenge on you"

"what could you have possibly have done", I rolled my eyes.

"Your parents are long gone"

"what", I whispered, I had almost forgotten about them but they were still my parents, even if they had no memory of me.

"Dead. I hope you can feel what it's like to lose a loved one now then", he sneered.

"I loved you Harry"

"Take your revenge on me then, not that you can", he laughed

"Goodbye Harry, I will miss you but I hope you understand wherever you go", his eyes filled with confusion but then blank as I recited the curse.

"Avada Kedavra!", and the boy-who-lived was gone.

I fell to the floor with tears streaming down my face as I hugged his body, "I'm sorry, I had no choice, death is better than what would have happened to you when you were recaptured", I whispered without letting go. My ex-best friend and hope for the light was now just a still corpse, he looked nothing like our schooldays; his hair was matted and greasy as well as his skin being pasty and his body being skeletal. He wasn't Harry anymore, he was just a boy whose life was wrecked by misery and death, and I guess I gave him freedom. I couldn't believe I had done it, but it just had to be done.

I didn't let go as I remembered things, how we met on the train going to Hogwarts, how we battled the troll together with Ron, when we travelled with the time-turner, supporting him during Voldemort's return and setting up the DA. Having friends, loved ones, now all I have is Voldemort, the person who started all of this.  
Why the fuck do I love him.  
"Please forgive me Harry", I sobbed and laid his body back onto the rotting floorboards. I didn't leave or do anything, just watched him, I didn't want to kill him but I knew he would have a worse than death experience when Voldemort takes him back. "You're free now, just how you wanted but I'm left behind, I hate that I love Voldemort but I can't help it, I just want us all to be back at Hogwarts again".

What do I do now? I need to go back but what do I do with his body…I wasn't going to bury him as I knew I couldn't bring myself to so I levitated his body to an old bed in the room and lay him peacefully, he looked like he was just sleeping.  
"Goodnight Harry", I finished and kissed his forehead before leaving his body forever more. What else could I do? Let him live and die later anyway but probably painfully, or just kill him painlessly and move on…I couldn't stop the tears as I arrived outside Voldemort's chambers, they still fell as I slipped into the library and curled up on the sofa, they stayed moist on my cheeks when I heard a swish of a robe.  
"Leave me alone, torture you me all you like later but I need to be on my own", I sniffed with my eyes closed tightly.

"I have an house-elf come to the ministry to tell me Potter has escaped and so have you, no other word, you just left. Then you return with no explanation and demand I leave you alone?"

"Yes", I replied before he cursed me with the cruciatus Snape had worked on, it killed me and I screamed a lot yet I didn't care, I didn't cry just the tears lingered from before. I couldn't see, hear or feel; when he lifted it I found I was on the floor with him sitting lazily on the sofa.

"Where was you?", he asked severely ,

"I went to see Harry if you must know".

"What do you mean 'see'? just popped out for a visit did you?", he spat sarcastically.

"No, I k-killed him", I stuttered sadly,

"Legilimens", he motioned and he was in my mind, I was too weak to fight him but I cried even more as I had to relive the moment I cast the curse and his body falling to the floor, dead. 

""I hate you"

"no you don't"

"I wish I did then, I dislike you even if I do love you, I can't believe you…you are trying to hurt me by sneering at what I have done, can't you just leave me? Please"

"no, because you caused a lot of trouble today when I asked for none to happen, but murdering your so called friend is punishment enough. Are you going to tell me of his bodies whereabouts or must I search your mind?"

"Why do you need to know? He's dead and I've left him peacefully, can't it just be left now, the last hope for the light is gone although he was a prisoner he was still the last hope"

"last hope? You don't seem to understand that everyone has welcomed my ruling now, even if not at first, you think I just murder and torture people. Yes, there is more discipline in the world now but that is how obedience happens, people are used to it and are happy with their new lives"

"what makes you think that"

"they could have killed themselves if they wanted to end it, muggles are now slaves and certain prisoners. The world has moved on, I thought you had also-"

"I have"

"then don't dwell on the past"

"I'm allowed to mourn aren't I? I killed him so he wouldn't suffer anymore, not because I wanted to, so don't hold it against me"

"you don't get to give the orders, but I wasn't going to anyway, I despise the boy I just regret the fact I couldn't have done it myself"

"I'm so sorry, how must I make it up to you?", I mocked angrily

"don't get angry with me, you're the one who let him escape, you are the one who killed him, you are the one who caused the trouble. I have done nothing, but thanks to you I have to go away for a while because more trouble was caused at the ministry because of my sudden departure"

"how long will you be gone?", I said as I calmed down a bit

"I am unsure, a week at most, I'm setting up anti-apparition charms on you as I can't seem to trust you"

"you make me sound like an animal but I forgot, I'm a slave aren't I, and in your eyes slaves are just animals"

"you aren't really a slave anymore, a slave serves there master, you have not"

"in my eyes you see me as a slave even if I don't serve you, I never wish to but if you want me to, I will", I stated, "ok then, I am going to do what all the other slaves do from now on, it's obviously what you want-"

"no, you are not a common slave, you are my wife, the dark lord doesn't marry someone who is equal to a muggle. I don't want to leave with you angry with me when I have done nothing, so you either get over whatever your problem is or I'm knocking you unconscious till I get back", he was serious. I was just angry because he didn't seem to care that I had just killed my best friend, he didn't seem to care that I had just lived my worst nightmare and that I was so sad I couldn't think straight.  
"Well?"

"Forget about it, I've already promised myself not to have grudges against you; I should be expecting it by now. When you leave do I get the place to myself or do I have your followers around me?"

"Lucius is staying, everyone is busy and he has things to do here, do not disturb him during his stay"

"it doesn't bother me but I know for a fact he will be allowed to bother me, am I right"

"on some level, he cannot enter my bedroom but he can go anywhere else, he's not allowed to rape you if that's what you're thinking"

"no, it's not. Your deatheaters and followers seem obsessed with sex, maybe im missing something", I said sarcastically but I couldn't help but grin, even if I was a bit pissed off.

"Maybe you don't seem to realise a hard day at work should finish with certain pleasure", he smirked

"before anything happens…can you promise me one thing? Please", I pleaded, after some thought he nodded carefully. "Please leave Harry where I left him and can you not mention him again? I can't stand the thought of him haunting me for the rest of my life in my dreams and nightmares.

"that is two requests, the first I agree to, the second I half shall, let's just say im not promising he won't come up in a conversation in the future"

"that's fine, thank you Tom and I apologise for being a bit pissed, I'm just so emotional…I guess I felt I needed to blame someone, tell myself it wasn't me…"

"I don't take offence by it, I just prefer you not to be so angry-with me"

"I can't help it, I just feel so lost"

"then let me show you the way", he finished with a kiss. I had no reason to be angry with him, I was upset about Harry but I just had to tell myself it was for the best, I saved him really, from pain and suffering.

Even if it is wrong.

...

He is dead and she is still in my arms, she was the one who did it, although she left without my permission, she returned quickly. Yes she was upset, of course she would be, but now that she has calmed down she finally relaxes next to me on the bed. I have no idea how we got there, everything happened so fast, she was sad but very passionate otherwise. It wasn't even evening yet, but she lay against me as if she was about to go to bed. Her eyelids closed but I knew she was awake, her heart beating gently alongside my previously unknown one. I do have a heart and I can feel.

"I will be gone by nightfall"

"send me a postcard", she smiled before opening her eyes to gaze into my own; her crimson tinted iris's matched mine and had seemingly warmed up to being with me.

"I hope you won't miss me too much, I don't want you getting love sick or whatever they call it"

"I don't think that shall be a problem, I've been feeling a bit ill last few days now, it's nothing to worry about! Just feel bit nauseas every now and again"

"I'd prefer you see a healer"

"ok I make you a deal, if I still feel ill when you return, I shall see a healer"

"It's a deal. I'll be back the day before Halloween latest if I am correct, gives you time to anticipate my return", I joked making her pout, "you look cute when you do that, should do it more often"

"how about this", she kissed my lips quickly, "or this", she kissed my neck and then began to suck lightly on the vein there making me moan.

"You do this to make me feel weak don't you"

"I thought I should give you a mark to remember me by", she pulled away as I knew she had left a small bruise, "you're not the only one who can mark their lover". 


	13. News

_I didn't want to fall in love with you  
I didn't want to know the things I knew  
It wasn't until I look into the mirror  
Denial  
Sugababes-Denial  
_

...

The next couple of days were quiet, he had gone and the only living interaction I had were with the house-elves. The muggle servants were nowhere to be seen but I had a feeling they had been told to stay away from me. I didn't miss him much, but I grew bored, I didn't want to read all day and the grounds were off limits, most of the rooms were locked so I basically had to stay in the bedroom all day.

After finishing breakfast in the great hall alone, I made a few confetti fireworks appear out of boredom.

"Have I missed a wedding?", a familiar man's voice made me jump from the doors, I turned to see Lucius watching the confetti fall gracefully to the floor then disappear on contact.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack! Least warn me or say a hello or something…", I said, not getting up but watching as he came over and sat down opposite me casually with his feet up.

"The dark lord has been gone for two days now and I have not seen you once, have you been hiding?" he mocked.

"Why would I hide from you?"

"Because you are scared of me"

"don't flatter yourself, I don't. I didn't even know you were here, it's like you were avoiding me!"

"Why do you care?"

"You are so annoying!"

"You don't hate me as much as you say now do you?", he said lazily with his snake headed cane tight on his fingers

"I hate you more than anyone, you have threatened to hurt me so many times before-"

"-before. Have I recently? I think not. I can't help the fact that you are a very good looking and good bodied young woman!"

"I am what the dark lord made me, it's not really me"

"if I remember rightly he just altered three minor things, everything else is yours but it doesn't matter really, it's still in front of me"

"sexually frustrated are you now?"

"Of course not"

"yeah right…and the dark lord loves muggles and gardening", I replied with a laugh, he gave a snigger and took a sip of some firewhiskey he had brought with him. "So Lucius, seeing as I haven't seen or heard of you because I thought you were dead and I don't particularly like you, how are things?"

"I don't particularly like you either, but I am the same as always"

"evil, arrogant and untrustworthy?", he smirked

"I'm not all bad, and I managed to raise Draco into a well brought up young man"

"yeah, and he turned into a death eater"

"it's what was always going to happen, I was unhappy with it being done so early but now I see it was good for him, he has finally matured"

"so mature in your eyes is sleeping with nearly everyone in his year at school?"

"a young boy can't seduce so many, he is a man finally"

"well…just tell him if he tries it on with me once again he is going to get another slap, and he knows it's not going to be pretty"

"He will be at the Halloween festivities so you can do it yourself, he gets to leave the school for the night"

"I forgot he was still at Hogwarts"

"Yes, as you would have been too…so how have you been? seeing as you asked me about myself"

"Normal I guess, I have been so bored the last few days, I can't go anywhere and it's frustrating me!", I groaned

"you like books do you not? Just read some in the library", he suggested

"I love books but reading all day everyday isn't that fun"

"find something else to do then"

"like what!"

"I don't know. Practise some magic, but I promise you making confetti will do nothing for you"

"very funny, it would be nice to go to Hogwarts though; just to see it at least…"

"Ask the dark lord. Now you need to loosen up a bit, have a drink or something", he doubled his glass of whiskey and offered it to me,

"it's 10 o'clock in the morning!"

"You have nothing else going on, it doesn't matter if its morning, evening or night really now does it", I gave in, I checked it wasn't spiked with a few charms which made him roll his eyes.  
"Why would I put something in it?"

"because you're a Malfoy", I took a sip and winced at the strong taste before downing it in one go,

"I did not expect that", he smirked his trademark and took a sip, "it's not muggle alcohol where it can harm your body in the long run, most it can do is make you drunk. The ministry made a little known law a few years ago that all beverages must give no harm to the user, unless it is a potion of course…so no worries about liver damage or whatever"

"I didn't know that but it would make drunks more common wouldn't it. It's a bit strong isn't it?"

"Only the best, do you want another then?"

"No thank you", I said and put the glass onto the table.

"Ok, wait a second you have something in your hair", he came over and leaned over me with his hand fiddling with my hair, "just a bit of confetti", he was no further than a few inches from me and before I knew it he had his lips touching mine. And what's more, I didn't pull away.

My hands stayed on his waist and his fingers trailed in my hair lightly, he was a good kisser but as his fingers brushed against my breasts I pulled away.

"I -I, this isn't right, I don't like you, I never have, I hate you! I j-just miss the dark lord-"

"I've told you I don't like you either, but I couldn't help myself, you are a very beautiful young woman and I happen to be lust driven, so it's not a big deal"

"yes it is! He is going to kill me! He hates it when I do anything with another man, especially since it's you! Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!" I cried anxiously, I stood up quickly so I could go but it just made me light-headed.

...

"Lucius, what brings you here?", I asked casually while looking over some things at the ministry, things were running smoothly but a few countries were having trouble getting used to new laws, typical. Lucius apparated in with his cane in one hand, and an anxious face.

"Milord I just wanted to let you know, well…"

"Spit it out Lucius!"

"Of course milord, I was...talking to your wife, but she must have stood up too fast or something because she just fainted"

"fainted?"

"yes milord, I took her to my rooms and left her to sleep on my bed, it's nothing serious I just wanted to make sure you knew"

"Have the healer look at her, I don't want to find out all these symptoms are adding up to something"

"I shall milord…there is just one other thing…", he added nervously, I raised my eyebrow and waited, "I, er, me and Hermione kissed just before she fainted, I-I thought I should let you know so you know that is the furthest it went. She pulled away and I admit I wanted to, well you know…but I think we both realised we were just a bit lonely", he stated. I looked at him and studied his mind, he was telling the truth, I saw the image of him and her locking lips but neither felt anything for the other.

"Lucius, I appreciate you telling me but I still believe you could have resisted your urges", I tortured him for around a minute just to teach him a lesson. It angered me that she didn't seem to mind some action with another man, I wanted to be all she thought about, not others to drift in and out of her mind.  
"You are excused Lucius"

He quickly apparated away and I was left alone in the office. I could torture her for a bit when I return just to remind her who I am and what she is, she may not be a slave but she is still my possession. _Mine_.

...

I groaned out loud as my head throbbed and my body felt tired, I slowly pushed myself up weakly and leaned against the back of the bed. After a short while I slowly opened my wincing eyes and looked over to see out of a window, by the looks of it, it was around evening.  
Wait…that isn't the view from the window in Voldemort's chambers, I opened my eyes wider-sensitive to the light but I could see the unfamiliar room I was in, small but cosy in neutral shades and the bed I lay in was big and comfy but not like Voldemort's.

"What the-"  
I felt something warm and heavy next to me but as I looked down I screamed and rushed off the bed.  
The blonde haired man lay sleeping but awoke at my disturbance. "We-we didn't, no…how the hell!", I shouted and whacked him round the head.

"Calm down woman!", he moaned with his hand on his head, "We didn't do anything like that so stop your whining!",

"What am I doing here then!", I demanded

"could you please stop shouting because it's doing my head in! You fainted so I brought you here because I can't go into your normal bedroom, at least a thank you would have been nice"

"Why the hell are you sleeping next to me then!" I breathed deeply out of disgust

"Because I was tired and you were in my bed so I just took a nap! What's the big deal, you fainted so I just brought you here, that is all", he assured me but I still didn't trust him.

"I guess I should thank you then", I rolled my eyes and pushed myself up just to feel sick, "why the hell do I feel so shit all the time!"

"Go to the healer, moaning about it isn't going to do anything, and then maybe you can grow up and stop fainting like a weakling!"

"Shut the hell up! I am not weak and I am more mature than you could think, and fainting has nothing to do with it! So are you going to show me the way to the healer or do I need to crucio you?", I growled making him snigger.  
"Crucio!", I said but nothing happened, I cried in frustration, "if I could hurt you…"

"Is that a threat?"

"It can be, I hate you so much!"

"And all I did was help you out, maybe I shouldn't be so nice in future"

"Fuck you!", I cursed and stormed out.

I can't believe I kissed him earlier, I can't believe I fainted, and im not weak!

"Pibby!", I called aloud to thin air in the hope it would hear, and sure enough a small pop later and it was bowing in front of me

"miss calls Pibby?"

"Yeah, erm, sorry but do you know if there are any healers here? I remember being in a hospital like place but have no idea where it is-"

I heard a small pop to see Lucius pulling on a black robe in my way, "what do you want Lucius?"

"Come on, the house elf is busy, it doesn't need you ordering it around", he turned to the house elf and told it to leave.

"Since when do you care about their welfare? Are you trying to keep me ill or something because I will just call it back to show me!"

"No I thought I should do it, you seem to think I just want to hurt you, and I don't so let me show you the way", after a moment I nodded.  
We ventured through a few hallways down to the great hall and passed it swiftly, eventually coming to a door with a small medical sign on the front. Lucius didn't say a word to me but motioned for me to open it.

I slowly creaked the old door open to reveal the familiar hospital I woke up in after my kidnapping, all the beds were clean and empty but a brunette middle-aged healer sat reading documents, she stood up quickly when she saw me arrive.

"Erm miss, I think you may be in the wrong place-"

"no, this is the hospital place isn't it?"

"Yes miss, is there anything I can do for you and sir?", she asked politely with a small bow.

"There's no need for calling me miss or whatever and definitely no need for a bow, especially him as well", I added making Lucius tut and sit down.

"I insist miss, now what was it that you needed?"

"I've been feeling sick the last few days and I fainted a bit earlier, Lucius Malfoy took me to lie down but I still feel ill so I just came here in hope you could sort it out"

"ok then, you probably just have a bug, it is getting colder outside, so may just be the flu"

"ok and thank you", she nodded and searched a few shelves filled with various flasks and bottles of all sizes and colours, she picked up a small blue bottle and handed it to me. I downed it in one go, waiting to feel the effects, the sick feeling disappeared but the dizziness stayed.

"I still feel light headed, have you got anything else I don't want to faint again"

"I think I should check you over instead of giving you something more, I don't want any overdoses now", I heard Lucius laugh but I ignored him, "what's wrong miss, you don't seem too happy", she asked while checking me

"Don't worry its nothing. I just made a bit of a mistake earlier with certain scum and the dark lord will punish me severely when he returns, I just know it", I sighed as I sat down on a bed with my chin on my hands.

"He won't punish you miss, well not that bad. He cares too much for you, you should have seen him when you were unconscious here, worried silly"

"yeah but he's still going to be angry-he doesn't worry about torturing me as long as I'm alive that's all that matters. It doesn't matter what he says, even if I'm not a slave I'm still just a possession, there's no changing that, I'd give more than anything to just have things how they were".

"You and me both miss, I was lucky that no one I love was killed or put in prison but everyone's still suffering, though things have gotten better now everyone's settled but it's still hard-Oh, I've said too much", she covered he mouth ad eyes moved nervously between me and Lucius.

"Don't worry im not going to say anything and neither is he. You are right, things would be easier…you think you have it hard but I wish I was in your position, at least you have loved ones that love you, you're not just a pawn in the dark lords games and you don't suffer as much as I. I'm not trying to get sympathy im just trying to show you things aren't all bad…"

"I understand miss, when we heard you had been kidnapped all that time ago everyone was devastated…but well, things change, the dark lord took over and everyone had their own problems", she replied.

"Of course, I know, I was in a coma when he took over so I don't know what happened but I don't really want to either…anyway, do you know what it is?", I mumbled after she hadn't spoken for a while.

A few minutes later she stood up and looked down at me nervously.

"I-I don't know how to tell you this…"

"Then just say it! What's wrong?", I asked even more nervously than she looked. Lucius stood up and came over, putting his wand to the healer's neck.

"Say what is wrong quickly or I just might have to-"

"Lucius sit the fuck down!", I cut in furiously before standing up, "It's just a bug, it can't be serious can it?", I spoke quickly, getting worried by the look on her face

"I just checked three times to make sure but…well, you are a month along in pregnancy", she stuttered, it didn't go inside my head.

Lucius looked down at me startled and looked confused, "what did you just say?"

The healer smiled but with worried eyes and talked directly to me, "your pregnant miss!", it hit me like a broomstick into a rock wall.

"I'm what?"


	14. Secrets

_People in love get fast and foolish  
People in love get everything wrong  
People in love get scared and stupid  
People in love get everything wrong_

At least they're not lonely  
At least they're not lonely  
Never Be Lonely

BBBBaby I think I'm going CCCCrazy  
And why should I be sane without you  
-The feeling-Never be lonely

*

"I'm what?", I replied dumbfounded, it wasn't true, I didn't believe it, I can't be pregnant…no, of course not, I reassured myself.  
"you're wrong"

"it's true miss, I don't know if it is good or bad news for you but I wasn't expecting it either, you just need to get over the initial shock"

"I don't know I just, I can't be pregnant, not by him, not now"

"what's so terrible about it miss? You say you love him"

"I-I…after everything he has done to me, things he has made me do...things what will happen. I-I don't know, I'm so confused"

"Don't be", Lucius told me seriously with his hand on my shoulder. "Yes bad things have happened involving you two, yet this, this is what you have always wanted, I'm not usually one for being nice but come on Hermione, and you can do this". I looked up to him scared; can I really have a child with Voldemort? The last time was different, so much has happened since then.

"What do I do…"

"be a mother", the healer assured me and wiping away the tears from my red tinted eyes

"a mother…", I gasped and then smiled with tears running down my face, "I-im going to be a mum!", I choked and put a hand to my mouth. "I'm going to have a baby…"

"Well you seem to enjoy surprises, I certainly did not enjoy that", Lucius said with a half frown, half smile

"I thought I was ill, but instead I have someone growing inside of me! But-what is _he_ going to do?" I referred to Voldemort nervously.

"I shall send him the news-"

"-no! No, I need to tell him myself…when he returns. He is obviously busy at the moment he doesn't need this"

"it's your choice but I think he would prefer to know"

"I just want to be ready myself"

"well I ask you not to tell the dark lord I knew anything about it"

"ok I won't. But I just can't imagine having a child with him. Yes, I was all lovey with him but, but I can't forget things what have happened, he doesn't realise that"

"He's still a man miss, and they tend to forget that us woman don't forget", the healer chuckled.

"Yes he is still a man, I just hope he isn't so, well…evil in the future, I won't count on it though…he thinks everything is fine, it's not is it...I think I need to talk to him"

"Do it before telling him about the baby if you do…well, I bid you congratulations then", Lucius said awkwardly.

"Thank you Lucius", I smiled, "I can't believe it, even if it is with him-don't get me wrong I love him but sometimes things don't last-…well I am going to have a child!"

"you know you really are just a child yourself miss", the healer mentioned but it didn't bother me,

"I am young but I've seen and done enough to prove otherwise, I don't care how old I am, I don't exactly have a school or job to think about, just a child…", I lay back on the bed and closed my eyelids, "how far along am I again?"

"About 4 or 5 weeks miss, the child was conceived around mid-September"

"so a summer baby, it seems so long away yet eight months doesn't. Wait, how has it survived all the damage I must have received since then?", I asked confused

"you still have the protection charm on your, well, where the baby was from last time, it's one of those spells which have to be removed to stop working they don't just go", Lucius explained and watched me carefully.

"Ok, lucky I guess…Lucius, do you think the dark lord will be pleased or pissed? Honestly"

"honestly? I have no idea; I don't want to get your hopes up or down. I know he wants to have a child with you, I'm not sure if he wanted one now because of your potential-"

"he wants to have child with me?"

"Yes, did you not know? Well he has…mentioned it in the past that he thought you would be a fine lady to produce any offspring"

"you make me sound like a farm animal", he snorted, "you are lucky im happy or I'd kick your arse!"

"You make me laugh Hermione, I shall leave you to it then, good luck with the erm, child", he nodded and apparated with no further words.  
Lucius was kind, i didn't expect it but i really should just get over my beliefs that he is pure evil-he's only mostly, there's still some room for being nice.

"You will help me during this won't you? Im so scared", i asked the healer worriedly.

"Of course i will unless the dark lord states otherwise miss. And don't be scared, the dark lord will probably provide you with everything you need miss. You are happy then?"

"Excited, happy and scared at the same time. So this is why I've been feeling so strange"

"Yes, just the early symptoms, I can sort out your sickness but I'm afraid nausea and breast swelling I can't help with. As long as you don't stress yourself out, eat well and don't have any sudden movements the nausea shouldn't be too bad. Sorry it's very muggle"

"no its fine with me, he's going to love the breasts though, always has had a thing for them", she laughed and handed me a half-a-litre bottle of potion.

"for the sickness, a tablespoon will do whenever you need it, I just gave you a larger bottle so you don't always have to come down here when you don't need to", I nodded and stood up

"thank you for everything, I still can't believe this is happening to me!"

"Everything will be worth it in the end", hopefully so.

I went back to my bedroom and fell into the armchair. This morning I was just a girl, now suddenly I am destined to be a mother in around 8 month's time, it seems so soon. The last time I was pregnant I was worried but very happy. This time I'm unsure, I so want to have a baby but…Voldemort. I don't even know why I love him, I don't want too after all he has done but I can't seem to help it, I couldn't stop the tears falling and I knew he would be back within the next few days.  
Now I think about all he has done, now I am going to be a mother I can truly see the wider picture.

How would I tell him anyway? Just before he left I felt love stoned or something as I nearly always feel, yet now when I think about it, he has a way with words that seem to make me feel like I am in the wrong. Let alone telling him about the baby, how can I tell him how I feel? I just want to be angry for once without him saying or doing anything that makes _me_ feel guilty!

Now im pregnant I can see that, I'm so stupid for not seeing it before! But being pregnant makes it so much harder…

...

(Two days later)

"Milord, I've organised the new laws for certain countries, as you know not everyone can follow the same things because of economic and other conditions…I hope that is ok with you?", Severus uttered opposite my desk at the ministry.

"Yes that is fine, quote good news actually as I wish to return to my home. I have needed to torture her for a bit…"

"Why may I ask milord?"

"She kissed Lucius, and she knew I would not like it, she did it on purpose it seems", Snape didn't seem surprised at this statement but then again he never ever seem surprised.

"She is only a young girl, much younger than either of us milord...i sometimes forget what it was like as a hormonal teenager. She is very much devoted to you milord"

"It is her place to be. I'll be heading off, I guess I should be easy on her as she is ill but the healer would have sorted that out by now, no I think I'll just listen to her screams for a bit", I smirked sadistically. It doesn't matter if I hurt her for a bit, yes I love her but I have her wrapped round my finger, she'll get over it.

With that I apparated to my bedroom chambers to see her curled up on the sofa, her hair slightly covered her face and a hand lay gently on her stomach. Sleeping beauty but she needed to take her punishment regardless of how she looked. I woke her with Snape's torture curse, her screams did nothing to make me feel disgusted with myself, and she was used to it by now.

"What the fuck was that for!", she screamed shakily when I stopped the curse, she was still suffering the aftershocks but that did not stop her pushing herself up and glaring at me.

"So you decide to go and get some action did you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me"

"What? I kissed Lucius; I wasn't exactly getting some action was I! It was just something that happened in the moment, nothing more! You get to fuck whoever you like but i just kiss someone I don't even like...You really think I deserve to be tortured for a kiss?", she spat.

"You are mine-"

"-yes you tell me often enough! Just…fuck off out of my life for a bit!", I stood stunned at her words but quickly tortured her once again, she could do nothing to stop it and I kept it on her slightly longer as the anger bubbled inside me. "Just torture me why don't you, I hate everything you do! I am finally seeing sense, you're the dark lord and I was a fool to just forgive you so easily every time you hurt me! I'm so stupid, and I can't even hate you!", she ran out with tears streaming down her face.

What the fuck is up with her? I kicked the armchair and stormed past her into the library like a stroppy schoolchild, thinking best to just leave her be.

...

What do I do, what do I do, what do I do!

I sat alone in the corner of the bathroom, thinking thoroughly. So many emotions running through my mind. Do I love him? Yes. Do I want to? No, maybe, I don't know.  
I won't tell him about the baby just yet, I just need some time…

I wiped the tears from my face and looked down at where my bump would appear in a few months, I stroked it lightly wondering if it would be a girl or a boy, at this stage I don't really care whichever, either would beautiful.  
"You have the worst person possible as a father but you couldn't ask for a better mum, I hope you can forgive me in future for introducing you into such a harsh world. He might be a good father I don't know, but I hope to Merlin you don't turn out like him, I will use all the power I have to make sure", I quietly told the 4/5 week old inside of me. "You're going to be a summer baby though, at least there will be some light shining that day"

I had transfigured the bottle for my morning (all day really) sickness into a bathroom tile and put it in the place of one I removed, I wasn't ready to tell him, and he wasn't ready to be a father, yet.

I'm actually glad I'm finally thinking straight, obviously it would be expected to be treated bad by the dark lord but I thought by now he would have changed…maybe, yes I was wrong. Or maybe not, he has been good to me, most of the time, I have tested his patience and disrespected him so many times, most would be dead if they acted the same as me. Am I just being ungrateful?

I was always meant to be just a possession, just to be used to win the war. The war has been won and so I have no use, yet im still here, my use now is to please Voldemort, that's about it really. Is that truly it?

I got up steadily and walked into the library to him reading casually on a sofa, I sat opposite him noticing he didn't show any expression or emotion as if I wasn't even there.  
"Tom…", I started but he still didn't even batter an eyelid, "Tom, you don't have to talk if you don't want to, you can even ignore what I'm going to say but I am going to say it, it's your choice. I think since you've been gone, I-I just realised how much I can't stand being treated so bad, I have been so stupid to be so weak-", he silenced me with a charm and set down his book before looking directly at me.

"I have treated you well, so I will hear no more about that. You have not been weak, so I will hear no more about that either, I have been away and I find you have been kissing one of my best death eaters! I think I should be the one angry at you, you are lucky I just decided to give you a small punishment". I shook my head in disgust and released myself from his silencing charm.

"I can't believe you! You are doing it again! Twisting things to make me look like im in the wrong! Then you're going to make me feel guilty so I will apologise and forgive you, it's not happening this time so simply. I can't do this anymore, I _am_ weak, I have so easily given into you on so many occasions!"

"What has brought all this around? Who have you been speaking to?", he questioned severely.

"No one, I-I am-…nothing, just confused with what to do. I want to be Hermione Granger again, I want my friends, not to be alone with everyone hating me and to be just a normal teenager…I…I don't know if I can love you anymore, I want to be with someone who doesn't hurt me, who cares for me, who doesn't think of me as a _possession_. If you don't like it then I suggest you torture me and throw me in the dungeons", I looked away to avoid his crimson eyes.

"You don't mean that"

"I don't know, I just need some stability. I've accepted I'm always going to be here, I don't know if I can accept spending forever thinking I'm happy but when I look at myself, I'm not. I don't care that you kill and torture people, I got over that long ago, it's when you just torture me when I have done hardly anything-if ever, wrong. Can't you take the blame for once?"

"I will in future", he leaned over and kissed my lips, I let him for just a moment before pulling away

"it's not as easy as that"

"it's worked ever since you came here"

"that was different, I was blinded by love, I…I don't know anymore what I want, I just want you to be nice maybe without it having to lead to anything, I would just like to talk every now and again. My life revolves around just pleasing you, that's it isn't it"

"that was what I intended for you originally, but things changed, I just got so used to treating you like that that I can't seem to change how I treat you. Hermione, I don't mean it when I hurt you, surely you must know that by now, I'm not changing, I just hope you can love me for who I am, I did it for you"

"what do you mean?"

"if I'd have known a few years ago that I would fall in love with the mudblood best friend of my enemy I probably would have done myself in, I'm lucky that I learnt how to love and you were the one who taught me. I don't beg but I think I must just to show you", he kneeled down in front of me and took my hand in his, "I don't want to lose you Hermione, I've been a right…well dickhead to you, please will you forgive me for everything so we can move on?", he kissed my hand to finish making me smile.

"I never thought I'd see the day when the dark lord would be on his knees, or call himself a dickhead…I want to be fine with everything, I just have to have some time, is that ok?", I asked which he replied with a slight nod, "Thank you"

"That's ok, i just want to see you happy, i hate it when you are sad"

"I just need time-", he put his finger to my lips as he got up and sat next to me, holding me tight.

"I won't disturb you if you don't want me to while you think, just promise me you don't feel anything for anyone but me"

"I promise, you are all i have"

"You are the only person who i really have, not as a possession, but as a wife, a lover and a friend"

I sighed with a smile at his words, they were such beautiful words.

"so my dear, what did you get up to while I was away?", he asked innocently, I bit my lip…what could I say, 'Nothing much, just found out I was pregnant', how stupid.

"I-I found out…some things about Basilisk's, I thought it was interesting", I quickly decided to lie while closing my mind, he was suspicious I could tell though.

He would have to stay suspicious, at least for a bit. Maybe a day, or even months...  
When should I tell him?


	15. Heartbeats

_Everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby  
And every time I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
I guess I need you baby  
-Britney Spears-Everytime_

"…I'm glad we can finally talk normally, but, I just want you to know though I have forgiven you I'm not fully comfortable with you yet", I said awkwardly after an hour's worth of conversation, nothing to do with our relationship just general things. I could tell he wanted to say something but he just nodded, I smiled knowing it took him a lot to not torture me or something, he had possibly finally gotten out of that stage, I felt so in control though I knew I wasn't.  
"I know you hate this, but if we didn't talk, if I didn't say how I felt, I don't think this would last. Just be slave and master again, is that what you want?"

"Not anymore, look I'm not going to torture you at every given moment-"

"you crucioed me twice in the space of about ten minutes earlier, that's what I'm talking about"

"I see. I am the dark lord so I can't be soft on you, my empire would think if I have gone soft on you then that means I'm going soft on them, I can't have that-"

"then be hard on me when were in public, please, when it's just us cant you find it in you to…I don't know, just not torture me?", I asked like torture was a normal everyday thing-of course it was though.

"I think I can do that. Hermione…but you seem off, and not just because of what we spoke about"

"what do you mean?", I asked innocently

"What else happened when I was away? You seem different, in yourself I mean"

"it's nothing, it's just because of our talk, once I feel better about everything you will see its all ok", he looked at me suspiciously but just kissed my forehead gently instead of questioning me. I had studied occlumency some more while he was away, I knew my secret was well covered up I just hoped to Merlin he wouldn't find out through some other means.

"Do you trust me?", his voice no louder than a whisper

"is there a reason for the question?"

"I just want to know"

"yes I do. Though I can never be sure of anything with you, I trust you with my life, though that doesn't mean much, if I could die I would still trust you 100%. Though there were a few times when I was in danger, you have kept me safe and helped me when I needed you. For that I thank you. But…you care about me when others harm me but you don't when you do yourself"

"I told you I'd try and work on that. I have work that needs to be done so I must leave, but can't you at least tell me what I have to do to prove to you that I mean it?"

"I don't know…I guess my morals are returning to me, it's like I forgot about my old life, and now I miss it. It just pains me to think of _them_…I just want to forget things so I'm not cursed with their faces telling me I'm wrong", I choked, I didn't want to cry.

"You aren't, I thought I was wrong being in love, but that was just me telling myself I was wrong. You are telling yourself that, don't listen to the faces, listen to your heart", I sat stunned at his very-unlike-himself words. "There isn't anything I can do, but if you just accept me as me as I have with you then maybe we can move on with things, I don't want to be stuck wondering when you're going to forgive me".

I accepted what he said but I just knew for the future not to be so submissive when he wanted to punish me, he understood that as well and I know he knows I'm not completely happy. I guess I didn't hold a grudge for so long because of other things to think about, my baby, well our baby but he didn't know about it yet…  
I know I should have told him by now, I just don't know how to, maybe im just not ready. Other noticeable symptoms will appear within the next month or few, so I need to tell him before then…it is so hard! When he left I just sat back and read, I wasn't angry with him really just confused, he was a very confusing man but I admired nearly everything about him. _Nearly_, no matter what happens I will always hate what he does. Always.

...

She isn't in control, but I should ease up on her, I care about her a lot more than she thinks so I just can't allow such thoughts in her head.

There is definitely something going on...something she is hiding but there isn't much she could hide really. My curiosity was it its peak but after her tantrum I couldn't see finding out anytime soon, she had learned occlumency well and had gotten into the habit of hiding her thoughts whenever I came near. What a clever witch she is.

I sat in my study with a glass of goblin-made wine and smirked, though she was acting strange lately, I still had her.

Halloween was today, she had forgotten, but it was important to me, it was the anniversary that I was stolen from my body all those years ago, I liked to make the occasion a time to forget that and make it a day of my power.  
She must think im mad, always seeming to have celebrations and parties, but why bother having everything if I can't enjoy things? Celebrations were just a way for me to relax _with_ my deatheaters and followers present, and it gave them a chance to take a break-all work and no play wouldn't work and I knew it.  
Technically I only decide when the celebration is, I'm too busy to organise such trivial matters like what food is to be served and themes…I almost laughed at how muggle it sounded.

Tonight everyone would wear white, to symbolise the pureness of my work, I and Hermione however were wearing black…of course I wasn't equal to them so I couldn't wear the same colour everyone was wearing, Hermione was to wear it so I wouldn't lose her from my view, I wanted to keep an eye on her tonight.

...

"Wake up miss!", I heard a recognisable squeaky voice tapping me on the shoulder, I seem to be sleeping a lot lately. I opened my eyes to see the smiling face of Dobby, I hadn't seen him in so long I got up and hugged him!

"What are you doing here Dobby?", I gasped with a smile, it was nice to see a kind face.

"Dobby works here now miss! The dark lord had a few house elves from Hogwarts brought here, Dobby doesn't get paid anymore", he hung his shoulders so I patted him on the back, "But Dobby glad to see miss again!"

"Thank you, I'm glad to see you as well. Why are you waking me up again?"

"Dobby must wake miss so she can get ready, master supplied Dobby with clothes to bring to you and to tell you to be ready within the hour!"

"What! He could at least warn me that something is happening and I have to be present! What is it for?"

"Halloween is today Miss, the Dark Lord likes to celebrate it. Dobby must go to the kitchens to work for tonight, goodbye miss!", with that he was gone.

I stamped my foot in frustration, I was talking to him and he didn't even bother to mention it! The gown he had left was midnight black and encrusted with diamonds like the night sky, it really was beautiful but it still annoyed me he didn't tell me. With some effort to put it on because it was very tight at the top but big and flowed to the floor in the skirted part. I was worried about the top though, it had no sleeves but even though it wasn't anything major, my breasts had gotten very slightly swollen, it was very early on in pregnancy but they were very sensitive at even the slightest touch-a tight bodice did nothing to ease the pain. He didn't supply anything or anywhere to hold my wand, normally I would hold it in a pocket but I had none, I wasn't going to leave it in the room so I pushed it under my bodice.

If there is drink I'm not drinking any, though Lucius said wizarding alcohol couldn't affect me, for example the baby, I still didn't trust it. A took a sip of my sickness potion and instantly felt better than I did, I didn't want to be sick in front of everyone-and I didn't need him even more suspicious of my behaviour.

For the last half hour I lounged in the library reading another book from a shelf I decided to read all of, most was on the philosophy of the mind-including occlumency etc. it was better to do something important what wasn't part of the dark arts, thankfully I was getting particularly good at occlumency, not so good with legilmency, though I could tell sometimes what Voldemort was thinking when he was careless enough to not shield his mind. He had a lot of hate through his mind, but it wasn't radiating to me, about me. Sometimes he just took it out on me.

...

"Severus…I forgot to invite you, being busy as you were today it must have slipped me mind. I guess I should praise who did remember to ask you", I acknowledged Snape's presence with a slight nod, I sat like a king on my throne, I enjoyed Halloween immensely but today something in the back of my mind was not in the mood today.

"It was Lucius milord, but there is no need to praise him, by the looks of it he already has a little reward of his own", Snape's eyes sided to Lucius looking cosy with what I thought was Draco's date seeing as she was so young.  
"He does seem to like them young, but I believe he is just showing his ex-wife that he doesn't need her, I notice she has been alone lately…"

"Then maybe you should see to it that she is not alone", I smirked, Snape bowed and headed in her direction with a face full of satisfaction. He deserves to have some woman, yes he has a brothel but he hasn't actually had a proper relationship since…well…

I saw a flash of black clothing amongst the pure white robes and gowns scouring the room, I didn't stand but simply lifted my head to get a better look at my beauty. I personally made her dark hair have a slight curl close to how it was when she first arrived, she hadn't seem to of noticed but I prefer it now, it framed her face more, making it even more beautiful than before, I made the change permanent-I was unusually gifted at changing appearances.  
Her lips were pouted because she didn't look like she wanted to be here, she disliked people bowing to her as she passed and being called 'milady', she just couldn't seem to fit in. Maybe because I kept her as just a slave for so long so she got used to it or maybe she just disliked the people, I do not know.  
What I did notice was that she seemed to be making a lot of eye contact with Lucius, her eyes weren't being seductive purposely but they had a look of 'familiarity' possibly, as if they both knew something and that did not make me happy.

I almost got up and tortured them both from across the room as I saw her walk over to him and the girl Lucius was with walk away, I tapped my fingers against the thrones arm as I watched with fury bubbling inside. It wasn't because they were talking, it was because she and he had kissed before and now they seemed a little too connected, and her playful smile didn't help matters as I knew how something was definitely going on.

...

"Lucius I just wanted to say thank you", I smiled when it was just the two of us a bit away from everyone else, "and I'm sorry for being a bit of a bitch to and about you, just being raped by a man who was basically you made me a bit uneasy…"

"I understand perfectly, and why are you thanking me?", he asked with a raised eyebrow

"For not telling _him_ about the _thing_ and not being a bastard when I found out about it"

"Well I promised I wouldn't and I hold my promises to the end, even if I was a bit of a dick the day you found out about it, I wouldn't do that to anyone…well I keep promises to people I like"

"ah so you _do_ like me", I laughed which he rolled his eyes to, I thought he disliked me like I him, but I suppose I've seen him in a different light as he has with me. "But seriously, thank you, I'm just not really ready myself; I especially don't feel ready for the dark lord. I'm really scared you know, being a mum isn't going to be easy is it"

"No but having a child is probably the best thing I ever did, though Draco is a right bastard these days, he's still my son and I love him even if he doesn't like me. Your going to love it when he or she is first in your arms"

"You have me all excited now!", I couldn't stop smiling, though I was scared, I was so happy at the same time. "But I really don't like being dressed in this colour when everyone else is in the opposite colour! I stand out to much"

"ah but you are meant to stand out", I rolled my eyes, "Thank you Hermione for us getting on now, it is so much easier to be nice than to be cruel with you"

"I think maybe I'm finally growing up"

"you were more grown up than most when you first came here. So are you telling him anytime soon? You are already about a month and half gone and it will start to become noticeable within the next few months…"

"I will tell him soon, I just don't know-ah fuck!", I winced as the dark mark on my thigh started to sting,

"what's wrong?", he asked confused, I looked over to see Voldemort glaring at me from afar.

"Nothing, I have to go. Thank you again and I'll see you later", I forced one last smile and headed off in Voldemort's direction, he sat alone on his throne because it seemed he had ordered no one to disturb him. "What the hell!", I growled quietly in front of him

"You seem to have been getting cosy with a certain somebody lately…"

"You are unbelievable! I just get on with him now, it's like I can't even talk to people now!"

"Why Lucius?"

"You think I'm having an affair or something don't you? Merlin, do you really think I would do that! And even if I did, I think you would know about it before anything even happened! Just because you go around fucking people doesn't mean I do!", I cried as his eyes filled with anger, before I knew it he had backhanded me hard that I fell to the floor. I gasped in pain and pulled my hand up to my cheek, everyone had gone silent as I looked up at him with disgust, I steadily pushed myself but before I stormed out I whispered only loud enough for just him to hear, "You haven't changed one bit _milord_".

Of course he wouldn't change, he's the dark lord, and I was stupid to think otherwise. Maybe deep down I truly believed I could change him, I was wrong, he had been working to do what he does now long before I was even born, and one girl couldn't do a thing about it.  
It wasn't the fact he hit me really, it disgusted me but more than anything it's what he was accusing me of doing that hurt me, having a 'thing' with Lucius. I thought because I told him I trusted him it meant he trusted me, once again I was wrong, he only trusts himself not even his own wife.  
I would never cheat on him, yes I kissed Lucius but I didn't feel any attraction there in that way, I just felt a bit lonely and he just happened to be there. He had been with enough women since we've been in a relationship, but I never said a word about it, I didn't expect him to be faithful but I wanted when it was us two he would be at the very least nice.

"I'm sorry", I heard him say after a pop sounded behind me, I was on my way to see the healer because I enjoyed talking to her, "Did you hear me?", he said slightly louder when I ignored him, he walked behind me as I kept a steady pace not really acknowledging him. "Fine then, then you can listen. I apologise for hitting you, I didn't intend to even when I was doing it, just remember if I really meant it then I would of carried on making you black and blue-"

"I don't care milord, it's not that you hit me, though it was humiliating and hurt a lot I don't really care-it's nothing I haven't experienced before"

"then why did you walk out and why are you acting this way?"

"Because you don't trust me and you don't seem to care either! You really believe I would sleep with another man willingly? Then maybe you don't know me as well as you think, maybe I fell in love to easily, I don't know how I did but it happened and I hate it. I have no reason to really do I milord?", I stated sadly.

"You do, and that's me. I have changed a lot since I met you, though you don't notice it I have, maybe not with my followers but with you…why are you calling me your lord?", he still followed me, but now he was almost level with me so I could see his face but I didn't look at it.

"Because your my lord, what else would I call you? Unless you'd prefer master?"

"Why are you doing this? Come on let me heal your cheek", he stood in my way so I had to stop, he muttered a quick healing charm and all pain radiating off my cheek was gone, he wiped away a bit of blood which I hadn't noticed before..  
"What is going on? Ever since I went away you've been off with me and unhappy"

"I've just realised that I'm not being treated right milord, I already knew it it's just I-something made me see things clearer. I can deal with you hurting me because im used to it now, it's what you say what hurts the most though, you basically told me you have no trust in me!"

"I do, its just-"

"WHAT! You're the dark lord, things can't be so bad that you can't even trust me especially after I told you I trusted you!"

"I do trust you. It's just I don't trust Lucius, he could quite easily fool you into thinking he was all nice and then use you, he knows he can get punished for rape but I made an oath not to punish for something either me or you submitted to willingly without any influence"

"You did that? Thank you but I know for a fact Lucius isn't trying to fool me milord…"

"Why?"

"I can't tell you"

"You can and you will, I'm sick of this, even if it pisses you off I will hurt you to know what you are hiding!", he raised his voice steadily. I shook my head and carried on walking but his hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"You want to know why?", my own voice got louder angrily

"Yes why have you been acting like this!"

"I'm pregnant!", I shouted, it was out and thankfully I felt better slightly inside. Voldemort stood staring at me with his lips slightly parted like a teenager who had just seen a girls breasts, I couldn't help but laugh, I didn't want to really but I felt happy to say out loud the truth and be telling the father.

"You're what?", he said dumbfounded, not angry or happy just shocked,

"I could spell it out for you if it's easier", I said sarcastically and though I should be angry the smile on my face didn't go. "Pregnant, milord"

"A baby…you are having my child?", all my anger disappeared as I saw the smile begin to form on his own face, I was going to be a mum and he a dad, it just truly sunk in that second.

"Oh my…I'm going to be a mum!", I gasped, now he knew it was like someone had just told me, "It looks like you're going to have one more person to fall in love with", I whispered and kissed him gently. "A baby! We're going to be parents; you're going to be a father…"

"A father…I'M GOING TO BE A FATHER!", he cheered suddenly in delight as he picked me up and kissed my stomach, I giggled and stroked his hair affectionately.

A couple of bangs and running footsteps came over, the source being Lucius and Draco with their wands drawn, they quickly lowered them and gave small bows when they saw Voldemort holding me up.  
"We apologise milord, we were down the hallway when we heard shouting-"

"Thank you for being on full alert", Voldemort beamed without letting me go, the two looked a bit confused at his unusual happiness because they probably expected to be punished for disturbing him.

"If I may milord, is there an occasion for this sudden, erm turn of events?", Lucius asked awkwardly. I grinned as Voldemort put his arms round me and rested his hands on my stomach.

"It looks like me and _my lord_ are expecting", I lifted my chin and kissed his beaming lips. Both of them looked shocked, I knew Lucius was just faking it and I was relieved, I didn't expect to be so happy when I told him especially after our little argument but I was and I didn't want it ruined.

"Congratulations, from both me and my son to you both", Lucius nodded as did Draco quickly, "I do suspect you wish us to keep this to ourselves for now?"

"For now", Voldemort said not really paying attention apart from holding me, "you are dismissed"

"I'm sorry for not telling you before but I was just so confused with emotions-", I stuttered worriedly

"there is no need, I'm just glad the reason you were off with me was because of a good thing. I apologise even more now for how I was to you while carrying my child, I really love you", it was rare to hear him even say the word love so I kissed him in gratitude.

"You're not mad?"

"I'm going to have a powerful child, I can't be mad!"

"Can we be honest with each other from now on? I think that's the main reason we've been, different to each other lately, suspecting and blaming each other for things. Promise me milord"

"I promise, I was so worried I would lose you, well you know what I mean…you know I won't be able to help the fact that I get angry easily"

"just don't take it out on me, as long as we're honest with each other its fine with me milord", I told the truth, I knew he wouldn't change his ways but as long as in ourselves we were ok I knew I would be fine with it. As long as he didn't involve me in the dark arts, I didn't care really, I had lived too long with him to think any different, I was proud I had been strong enough to stand up for myself at least.

"You keep calling me your lord!", he laughed and took my hand as we started walking.

"I think I'm in the habit now _milord_, I know you prefer it to the name you detest"

"You are correct, I despise the name Tom but I could deal with it when you said it, I think you should call me what you like-as long as it's not an insult", he added with a raised eyebrow.

"How about I make you a deal, if I call you _milord_ till the baby comes will you make sure only certain people can be in contact with me? I just don't want the last time happening again", I closed my eyes and then opened them again more strongly,

"We have a deal", I held onto his hand tighter, "I will decide on those I think you can trust"

"Thank you milord-see I told you I'm in the habit!", I grinned, "I was heading to the healer, she is so nice and the one who helped me put when I found out…please don't punish her for not telling you, I told her not to"

"I won't as long as you have a healthy pregnancy, how far along are you?"

"Six weeks to the day milord, I checked, so you have less than eight months to get over the shock of being a father", I giggled as he still had shock all over his face. "I've known since you left", I can't believe I left it so long to tell him, it made me happy that he was happy, I didn't care about what happened in the hall now that I knew he would be loving to me _and_ our child. These moments were the reasons I loved him.  
"Are you as happy as you seem?"

"No, I'm ecstatic! I want you to know how much I love you, how sorry I am for being so hard on you, I-wait I sound like a child"

"No not a child milord, a lover. I can't believe at one point we hated each other and I was nothing, you changed me so much", I said happily as we walked down to the healers,

"No, I haven't, you are still the same as am I, I'm just…different around you, I guess it's because im happy", he looked at me strangely, "Shit you still have a mark on your cheek where my ring caught you when I hit you! I'm sorry but I can't do anything about it, magical injury because our rings are charmed, it should clear up naturally though within the week however"

"it doesn't matter milord. And I know you were expecting me to go off in a strop and ignore you for a while like I was going to…but there's more important things to think about now, I don't want an unhappy pregnancy", I choked back a tear but kept on smiling. Voldemort put his arm around me cheerily.

... 

Things seem to be slotting into place perfectly. I deeply regretted backhanding her, but she knew that and forgave me, thankfully, anything involving her usually led to the only times I felt remorse for things I had done, murdering and torturing people was nothing compared to 'accidentally' whacking her one. I really didn't mean to hit her, it pained me even more to see it had a mark that could only naturally heal.

When we entered the medical room, Hermione seemed at home and looked very happy to see the healer there I had barely ever spoken to.  
"Milord and lady", she bowed quickly, "How may I be of service?"

"I told him just now about the baby, and I just wanted to say thank you for everything"

"I haven't done anything miss"

"You told me about the greatest gift I could ever ask for, you did help and I hope you will in the future, and you kept to your word!", she hugged the healer as I sat down casually on a chair.

"I am glad to hear how happy you two are, and I wish you all the best for the future"

"Erm thanks…can you check it? I want to know of anything that may be a problem, I want things to be perfect", I stated which the healer nodded; Hermione lay on the bed next to me and held my hand happily.

"It will only take a moment", she muttered a few charms I did not know of-I mean im not exactly a midwife or anything am I?

"It feels so strange, but wonderful at the same time", Hermione said blissfully with her head in the pillow, "Even if things aren't perfect I really don't mind, just to have a child is good enough for me-"

"Oh", the healer said which made mine and Hermione's heads shoot up.

"What's wrong? Is it ok? Please!", Hermione cried, I stood up and felt the urge to curse the healer

"Spit it out woman! What has happened?", I growled angrily

"There is nothing wrong! Well, I seem to be sensing two heartbeats"

"huh?", Hermione said even more dumfounded than I was when I first heard she was pregnant, it didn't even register in my mind.

"Two heartbeats, I believe you are having twins miss!"

"I'm what?"

"She's what?"

And Hermione fainted leaving me gob smacked alone.


	16. Crooks

_S.O.S. please someone help me.  
It's not healthy, for me to feel this way  
Boy you are making this hard,  
I can't take it see it don't feel right  
S.O.S. please someone help me  
It's not healthy for me to feel this way  
Oh you are making this hard  
You got me tossin' and turnin' and I can't sleep at night  
Rihanna-S.O.S_

*

"…Wake up Hermione", Voldemort quietly disturbed me from my unconsciousness, I opened my eyes to see I was in bed next to him in our bedroom, "are you ok?"

"Yeah, I think so…what happened?"

"Nothing you just fainted, it seems if you remember, you're carrying two of my children", I pushed myself up in shock but lay back down again as I felt light-headed.

"Oh my…I can't believe this"

"are you happy or angry or sad? Because I have no clue what you're feeling from your expression"

"I don't know, actually...yes I'm thrilled!", I exclaimed at realising I was having twins,

"good because so am I. They aren't identical, I had you checked but it's uncertain the sexes yet"

"thank Merlin! I can't imagine having two exactly the same looking children with you, no offence but they'd be in enough trouble!", I giggled and kissed his neck, "and I will keep up to my end of the deal _milord_, but I would like to add something to it, can I have whatever food cravings I have?"

"That won't be a problem if you allow me to add one thing onto your end of the deal", he smirked and rolled on top of me

"I wonder what that could be milord", I matched his smirk and leaned my lips up to his. "And I notice I just happen to have no clothes on already", he grinned and suckled on my neck, I moaned in ecstasy as both our hands explored each other's bodies passionately. It felt so good to be touching him in bed again, it felt like it had been so long! Without warning he thrust deep inside making me cry in pleasure, he was usually gentle yet immensely pleasurable at the same time…

After a couple of hours of just pure lust, we finally lay with tangled limbs, soaked in sweat and exhausted but I couldn't stop smiling.

"I think I can keep with my end of the deal", he smirked making me whack his chest playfully,

"You bet you will _my_ lord, I couldn't believe it when we were just having one child but twins! How does it feel to have two children by me?"

"You have no idea", he kissed my hair as I lay my head under his.

"I'm sleepy, it's already exhausting and I'm only in the early stages, I dread to think how I'll feel within the next few months! But I think our 'little' session just knackered me milord"

"Then is suggest you get some rest", he whispered and I fell into dream world.

...

The next few days were wonderful, but she was having a few mood swings though, complaining a lot about being tired and hungry _and_ achy, she had even noticed she had already put on a bit of weight and it annoyed her-nowhere near as much as it annoyed me to hear her complain.

"What the hell is up with my waist? I'm nowhere near ready for a bump yet everything feels tight!", she moaned and muttered a charm to make her clothes fit to her body.  
"Sorry I keep complaining milord"

"don't be, if I was as annoyed as you think I would of crucioed you by now", she rolled her eyes and sat down to drink a warm butterbeer by the fire-it seems they were her new addiction but as winter was fast approaching I didn't mind.

"What are your plans for today then milord?", she asked warmly

"I am going to Diagon alley actually, to go to Gringott's bank for a meeting with the goblins and then I am going to get you a gift"

"a gift? What is it?"

"You know curiosity killed the cat"

"How very muggle of you", she giggled but bit her lip thinking she had said the wrong sort of words

"you will see, I believe you shall like it but I must warn you it's not 'new' and I don't personally like it but I think you shall"

"Thank you for whatever it is then"

"yes, well anyway I have to leave within the hour, goblins don't like to be kept waiting-even if I am the dark lord but I admit I don't enjoy going down Diagon alley alone, not that im in danger or feel any remorse for what I have done I just get…bored you could say"

"then why can't I come milord?", she suggested, I looked down at her innocent but frustrated eyes, she had been inside for so long. I wanted her safe though, and though it may be a risk I knew she and I needed it.

"you can"

"what?", she questioned surprised

"you can come with me, you will have to wear a warm robe over you and I will have to place quite a few protective charms on you-"

"Thank you thank you!", she hugged me

"But I will have to give you your gift afterwards, I warn you though goblins can be nasty, you have to sit with me though if you're coming because I'm not letting you out of my sight"  
I was letting her come because I knew she was sick of seeing the same rooms every day, change may do her good but she was in for some shock as she hadn't seen the new world properly.

We apparated outside The Leaky Cauldron pub with Voldemort holding his arm around me protectively as we went in, it was bitter cold already but the velvet moss green robe I wore over my clothes kept me just about warm enough. We didn't apparate straight into Diagon Alley because he said "you never know who is going to be next to you" when you arrive in your destination, making me laugh gently. It was the same as I remembered when we finally got inside, it was surprisingly busy-I just didn't expect so many people to act so normal these days, I guess the brothel was just a bad experience for me.  
Everyone silenced and bowed their heads slightly, avoiding his eye contact but they all seemed interested in me, I saw a few people whispering while looking in my direction which made me feel uneasy.

"Tom, I trust the access to Diagon Alley is open for me to use"

"of course milord", the barman answered respectively and signally for people to move out of the way.

I gasped as I saw Diagon alley, it looked as rich and busy as I remembered but I noticed quite a few people in rags, most of whom looked like they were carrying or doing things for certain people in more expensive looking attire, I also noticed beggars in street corners which most ignored.  
"What happened to these people?"

"muggleborn's, poor people or just those who never accepted the new world"

"fuck. Muggleborn's you say? Well I'm one and you don't seem to have a problem with that, why can't you give these people some freedom?"

"They are servants Hermione, that is all-"

"No! This can't be how things are done! You can't do this, ruin people's lives!", I cried angrily, "please, please at least have some justice for them, they don't deserve it!"

"it's not up to me what people do with their servants and the homeless…well, there were always homeless people in the world, they can get a job if they try"

"as a slave or a prostitute? Some life", I spat, when I saw a man whack a girl a few years older than myself to the ground, I had had it with stupid big-headed and disgusting pure-bloods! I broke away from Voldemort's hold and ran up to the dark haired man in his forties who had just gotten his wand out.

"Cruc-", he started

"-Crucio!", I growled at him with my wand held high, his knees collapsed below him as he screamed his heart out, people stopped and started looking over.

"That's enough", Voldemort gripped my shoulder and extinguished my magic, the man lay twitching on the ground next to the frightened girl who didn't seem to know what to do, "Help your master" he ordered her.

"Is that all you are going to do?", I asked annoyed, he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the wall.

"his servant, his decisions, I don't involve myself in others matters and neither will you"

"No. I'm going to help these people, somehow, but I promise you I will", I announced, "Now will you kindly let go of me milord", I muttered quietly. He released his grip before I bent over the girl and healed the bruise starting to appear on her cheek with my necklace, "I will help you someday, don't give in to this bastard", I told her.

"Thank you milady, but I serve my master whatever the case, I dropped his things so I had to be punished, you shouldn't have healed me", she said quietly.

"I should have and I did, don't be brainwashed and please whatever you do don't give up hope for at least some justice on your behalf…", I told her with a smile which she returned before I was hoisted up by Voldemort.

"You have made a big enough scene, now I have to be somewhere", he roughly pulled me as he marched towards the bank, he wasn't too happy with me but he didn't have enough time to say anything thankfully.

I didn't say a word when I sat next to him as he discussed things with a few goblins in a private room; I wasn't really listening just thinking.  
Could I really help these people? I always thought I was in bad condition (well I was before I married him) but I didn't realise how badly they were treated. I just had to do something, anything, I knew they wouldn't be freed but for them to have some equality or something, could I even do that?

"Hermione…Hermione", Voldemort nudged me while I day dreamed a while later, "I wish to talk to you", I looked up to see all the goblins had gone and he was just sitting opposite me seriously.

"Yes milord?"

"You were wrong what you did earlier and it was quite embarrassing on me, yes it was good magic and I know you impressed a lot of people but I do not tolerate punishment for no reason"

"What? He deserved it! And you can talk, I could list hundreds you have punished for no reason"

"I don't tolerate _others_ punishing for no reason and you made me look like I couldn't control you so I am telling you this only once, do not under any circumstance do anything I haven't told you to do in public"

"but-"

"no buts. I cannot allow you to such things, I had decided to not restrict your magic but it seems I must once again restrict it, for now you cannot harm others…"

"Ok, but I don't want to see them being harmed…that's what I was thinking of asking you milord…"

"And what would that be?", he asked curiously but sternly at the same time

"I know I have no rights to ask it of you, and you probably won't but I'll feel better if I know I tried. Can you do something, anything so the 'servants' have their own rights or…well I don't know? Please, I know it's a lot to ask but I think how I was treated in that brothel then I realise how easy I had it…can you at least consider it milord? Even a small thing like they can have a break or be able to be in contact with family…", I asked carefully.

"ill think about it, why do you care? You have more important things to think about such as being pregnant"

"I'm a woman, and we can multi-task", I smiled, "But please even considering it means a lot to me and I thank you for that milord. I care about it a lot because I know when something is wrong, slaves treated inhumanely isn't right"

"but you don't mind when I kill or even when you torture people"

"that's different, most of those deserve it though I'm not saying I agree with it. Milord can we go? Goblins make me uneasy even if there's none around at the moment I just don't like them"

"Yes, you seemed to ignore them pretty easily though, but you asked to come along"

"well I was bored at home, you didn't want me moaning anymore than I am now did you?",

"no I did and do not, I know your pregnant but if you piss me off so much I will have to hurt you", he threatened with a smirk, I knew he was telling the truth but it just made me laugh.

"As long as it's only you I'll behave then milord", I sniggered.

"How is Hogwarts milord?", I asked quietly as we walked down Diagon alley, everyone kept out of our way and silent as to avoid punishment for anything. "I always wondered if I'd of been head girl…"

"I don't know about head girl but Draco is head boy now it seems, I know the school is in perfect order if that's what you mean"

"no I mean the students, how about my old friends?"

"You know most are dead"

"the order are long gone, but my other friends milord, like Neville and other people I knew such as Lavender and-"

"Everyone's fine. No one under the age of 18 can work or be used as a slave in anyway, I made the law so you know I'm not all bad, so your 'friends' aren't slaves if that's what you are thinking"

"I was turned into a slave when I was 16"

"special circumstances", he smirked making me tut.

"May you give me the opportunity of torturing Bellatrix when you next punish her for something milord?", I asked boldly when we arrived back in the pub.

"That's not very like you, why?"

"Because I promised Neville I would make her suffer for what she has done to people, at least then maybe he knows I don't break them, maybe it will be one less person who hates me"

"no one hates you, but I don't want you using too much energy and the torture curse can use a lot of energy especially for a pregnant young lady…"

"Yeah ok milord…", my voice drifted as he sat down on a table unexpectedly in the pub, I never thought I'd see Voldemort drinking in such a social place,

"What? I happen to come in here whenever I'm passing, I prefer the atmosphere to The Hogshead, more cleaner…", he said as I sat down, Tom the barman came over promptly and politely with a bow. "A firewhiskey, and a butterbeer for her", he told the barman who scurried off to get them.

"No alcohol for me then, thought it couldn't harm _them_", I referred to the twins with a grin.

"Maybe, but it affects your mind and you are hormonal and emotional enough without the influence. Now on a serious note I want you to remember not to step out of line, I have overlooked your actions because of the pregnancy but I must remind you to remember who I am", he warned aggressively making me lay my head onto my hand. "I just don't want my people, or yourself thinking I'm weaker than I am, I might sound cruel but you just can't forget it". I said nothing but looked down at the table, I knew I couldn't be so casual with him in public, it wouldn't look good on him.  
"I'm sorry but I had to say it", Tom came over and lay down our drinks, waiting for any other instruction, "that is all for now"

"I guess I should thank you for being so kind to me lately milord, and I won't…_embarrass_ you like your suggesting"

"I wasn't", I didn't bother to argue but I knew I was right, he thought I embarrassed him.  
If someone had told me a couple of years ago that I would be drinking in a pub with the dark lord while married to him and pregnant with his twins, I would have laughed my head off at the insanity.

"Do you want boys or girls milord?", I asked after a moments silence

"I'm unsure, I would like a boy to work with and teach maybe when he is older, I'm not sure of a girl, though a daughter with beauty or a son with power will make me look very good either way. Though I guess I'd prefer boys"

"So you won't be reading them bedtime stories I guess"

"I was never read stories as a child and I turned out fine"

"you turned into a sadistic, evil and murderous wizard!", I muttered quietly making him snigger, "But you have everything, I guess there are high points in your life"

"I wouldn't if you hadn't of succumbed to me, I would just be the dark lord, now I am that as well as a husband and soon-to-be father, quite an improvement"

"I don't want our children working in the dark arts, at least give them the choice when they are older"

"we'll have to see about that"

"Oh goodie", I rolled my eyes sarcastically, "Why do people keep giving me weird looks"

"tell me who and I'll punish-"

"-there's no need for Merlin's sake!", I quickly put my hand on his arm as he went to get his wand, "I'm just saying, is there a reason?"

"This is the first time you have been seen in public for a long time…"

"Yeah, alright then I understand milord, I just feel like a freak or something"

"You aren't and you're moaning again"

"sorry, I can't really help it. So when are you announcing of my pregnancy? Lucius and Draco know but of course they won't say anything, or are you just going to leave it till I'm practically giving birth milord", I laughed.

"Just have to wait and see wont we"

"Oh we shall milord…"

...

She hated the stares, I would have tortured them for it but she hated that as well, the truth was people were fascinated by her. She had magic like no other and had survived her time with me, no one had lasted so long in my company, she had fallen in love with the dark lord and vice-versa, and of course people would stare.

"About your surprise, well I'm not sure if you will like it but I think we should go and get it now…"

"What is it?"

"It's a surprise for a reason", she giggled and got up when I did, I don't pay, I don't need to.

"where are we-", she cut off as we passed Gringott's and I went into Magical Menagerie, I couldn't help but snigger at her dumbfounded face when she was surrounded by hundreds of animals, "I didn't think you were the pet type milord"

"Very funny, but I think there may be something to your liking"

"I don't need a owl do I milord", she said confused, "it's not like I have people to mail or anything-oh my gosh!", she gasped with excitement when she saw the woman behind the counter holding a cat.

"I was looking at your thoughts a few days ago when you were stressed that you were getting 'chunky' as you say, and I saw an old pet of yours. Well I think this may do you good"

"Crookshanks!", she squealed and stroked the ginger cat affectionately, it was definitely more than a common cat because I noticed its intelligence. It was pretty easy to find as well, I just requested the woman in the shop find it for me by giving her all the details and it turned out she had it all along, 'given back after loss of owner'. I must look soft but a happy wife was better than a moody one during this time.  
"Thank you so much milord! Aw Crookshanks I haven't seen you for so long, what have you been getting up to?", she spoke to it like it was human. "Why would you do this for me?"

"I wanted to cheer you up"

"I don't need cheering-"

"You said you have no friends and no one likes you, so I got you back an old friend as you say. I was hoping it would stop the moaning"

"oh it will! I love you so much!", she hugged me and picked up the cat cheerfully, "Thank you, I missed him so much!"

"Well now that's sorted we can go", I finished taking her arm; she gave one last smile to the woman at the counter and we apparated home. She was happy and that would mean she wasn't angry with me, which I didn't particularly enjoy. Anymore.

She has a lot of hope for the slaves of the era, hoping they will be free but she knows it won't happen. I am however considering what she wants; it couldn't be that harmful to have some sort of order in that area could it now.

By the end of November we were acting like newlyweds, time had gone quick and it already felt like we were a family, something I had never had. She sat on my lap by the fire while I read, she sometimes did as well but mostly she just curled up and lay her head in my chest.  
The bloody cat was a nuisance in my eyes but she adored it, it purred affectionately at her stroke and was a very loyal pet, with a taste for hunting. I had the house-elves take care of it most of the time, they could feed and do whatever was needed to keep it well but Hermione just enjoyed its company when I was away, she said.

She had already developed a small bump, it wasn't noticeable when she wore loose clothing but it was definitely there. Though her body was changing so early, she had calmed down emotionally and was very happy all the time. She had gotten even more interested in having sex and couldn't resist kissing me whenever I walked in the room, and I loved it. I loved holding her tight and brushing her ever so slight bump, though I knew it would get big within months, she had a fantastic body. Yes I feel like a teenager once again, but that's how I feel, and it is brilliant.

"Don't make me wear tight clothes milord"

"is that an order?", I smirked

"It could be", she kissed my bottom lip and continued reading the half blood prince's book, Snape's old notes from his teens, they were very intellectual for someone so young and they also caught Hermione's interest it seemed. She hadn't seen any death eaters since Halloween, apart from Lucius because everyone was busy and he was the only one she seemed to get on with. I never thought that would ever happen.

"Getting cheeky now"

"'Im having your babies, I'm entitled to be cheeky milord", she grinned, "So you'll just have to let me off. But seriously, please don't make me wear tight clothes, I don't really want people to know yet…see I said please!"

"Fine. But I'll be awaiting something in return"

"Well you can't cancel Christmas so I think I'll find something…", she smirked and closed her book. "I can't believe they're inside me right now, it's such a wonderful feeling"

"I can't believe I'm here"

"what do you mean?"

"I'm sitting wife my wife on my lap discussing our future children, I just never thought it would happen to me"

"always expect the unexpected milord" 


	17. Naive

_How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
leading you down into my core  
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
until you find it there and lead it back home_

Wake me up inside (I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside (Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark (Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run (I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone (Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become  
Evanescence-Bring me to life

"Oh fuck, sorry", Snape stuttered as he walked in on me getting changed in the library, I was in the middle of reading a book about pregnancy Voldemort had supplied because 'I Dunno…might be useful', as he put it, and it was just easier this way.

"it's not a big deal, you've seen me in much less than this", I said as I pulled on my dress, he turned back round clearly embarrassed and sat where I was sitting before. "So I haven't seen you in a while, must be hard living it up as minister of magic", I rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"You have no idea. Where the hell that cat come from?", he questioned as Crookshanks climbed up and leaned onto his lap.

"I think he likes you", I grinned which seemed to disgust Snape, "It's my old cat Crookshanks, the dark lord got him back for me"

"I hate cats", he pushed Crookshanks off of him and stood up so he couldn't do it again, "what's this you've been reading…", he picked up my book but I quickly snatched it from his grip, not before he saw what it was though. "Baby books? Why would you…"

"Yes, im pregnant", I muttered and sat down while dropping the book, no point covering it up now.

"How long?"

"it's the first week of December so im…11 weeks, my bumps already starting to get noticeable so I'm wearing flowing clothes until it won't cover up", I explained, he look slightly taken aback.

"The dark lord is the only one I presume who knows then"

"Lucius and Draco know…well they sort of walked on me telling the dark lord"

"well I bid you congratulations on your future baby then"

"babies"

"what?"

"its twins", I smiled and patted my small bump, "I'm so happy it's unbelievable"

"well I didn't expect such news when I came in here today…", I laughed and picked my book up to lay it on the side, he sat down again because the cat had gone after a spider in the corner.

"I wasn't ready for the world to know but I guess they're going to find out soon anyway", I lifted my dress slowly to reveal my bump, it didn't bother me that he could see my underwear-I mean he had seen it before,

"Looks like your finally growing up", he smiled a rare true smile, coming over to get a better look, "it's so small and cute in a strange way"

"Severus Snape actually has a heart?", I giggled as he tutted, "I'm kidding, thank you"

"Twins huh, one is hard enough…well so I hear, but you have twice the 'fun'", he smirked

"yes but twice the reward"

"any ideas for names? I can't believe I'm having this discussion with my ex-student, but well I have nothing else going on"

"I feel so pleased that you made time in your 'busy' schedule to talk", I said sarcastically, "I'm naming one and the dark lord names the other, that's the decision, so we have to obviously decide on a girl and a boy name each, but this way he and I won't complain to each other. All works out. You know you're lucky I'm happy today, or I'd probably kill you accidentally from stress. Then again, I can't do 'proper' magic"

"you don't need proper magic, you have everything supplied for you and you are probably the most protected person in the world"

"Yeah but I don't feel like a real witch, everyone doing things for me, I wish I had a _bit_ more freedom. Of course I want to be safe but not every pregnant woman is in danger is she?"

"You're not every woman though. There are still many out there who wish to avenge their loved ones deaths and things, some may be even jealous, others might see it as an opportunity. It can't be risked"

"I get it. Please don't tell the dark lord you know…that way no one gets punished"

"I don't need your protection", he said darkly

"I know, I'm just saying the dark lord is very…protective of me lately and doesn't want it publicly known what is happening. He's been so good to me lately, I just don't want to piss him off"

"ok, ok. I'm not staying here long, I just need to look at something then I'm meeting N-erm, no one", he quickly changed mid sentence making me grin, "What?"

"Don't keep Narcissa waiting", I smirked before gliding over out onto the balcony, Voldemort had opened it for me because he obviously trusted me not to jump over the edge, it was also warded so no one could come within a metre of me.

"How do you know about us…?", he asked behind me on the balcony as I enjoyed the view of beautiful landscapes,

"I noticed you and her getting close at Halloween, also the dark lord has dropped hints that you've been seeing her", I smiled, "don't worry, its great you've got someone-"

"the dark lord knows?"

"I assume so, as he's mentioned it. I suppose your hiding it because of Lucius?"

"Not really, Narcissa would just prefer it, I know I'd probably have to battle him if he found out, he's a very possessive wizard. Even with things what aren't his"

"he's been good lately, so I would prefer not to hear a bad word. I think he's changed", Snape snorted, "what?"

"Malfoy senior single-handedly murdered half-a-dozen muggles only yesterday around Trafalgar square, don't ask me why but I believe he's wanting more of the limelight, hasn't done anything major lately so he thinks it may increase peoples fear and respect for him"

"he what! The fucking bastard, he only spoke to me last night how he hadn't caused any deaths of anyone…he said really at the end of that sentence, he hadn't _really_ killed anyone, meaning he hadn't done as much as fucking usual! Wait till I get my hands on him-"

"I don't think that will do anything seeing as you cannot use magic against another wizard. Anyway, here's some advice, never trust a death eater"

"even you?", I raised an eyebrow

"especially not me, I'm minister of magic I can do or say what I wish"

"I'll keep that in mind then", I turned round and looked deep in his eyes, his mind was blocked out but I didn't need to see it, all deatheaters were cruel. Not as much as Voldemort but with him I could see the other side of him, the affectionate and loving side, I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help my feelings.  
"You're right you can do or say what you want, but just because there's things in life we can do doesn't always mean we should. That's the difference, you either have morals and happiness for yourself and those around you, or not a care but only temporary happiness for only yourself, I know which I'd prefer", I stated wisely.

"You are very bright as I have known since you were a mere preteen, you may be right on some level in the old world, but not in the one the dark lord has created. You see there will only be what the dark lord wishes, and to survive is every wizard for himself and his lord, that's how it goes", he gently tugged on my arm, "it's getting cold out here, I'd prefer to not have the dark lords wife come down with something while in my presence, you either come in or I make you".

I didn't need telling twice, I knew he would so I briskly stepped back inside and sat down with a frown.  
"Things will change, you can count on that"

"oh are they now", he sniggered sarcastically, "and who's going to change things? You?"

"yes", he let out a burst of laughter, "what is so funny?"

"the dark lord has worked for decades before you were even born to get where he is now, he isn't going to let some…teenager destroy that, even if you happen to be carrying his offspring and bearing his mark and ring"

"I'm not saying that, I am going to change certain things, not his whole world, just…islands in his creations you could say…"

"I'm not stopping you…_trying_ that is, answer me something, has the dark lord hurt you at all since he found out about the pregnancy?", he asked curiously opposite me.

"why?"

"Just answer the question", he muttered frustrated

"no, not that I can remember off the top of my head", I replied simply

"your babies are protected from any curses he throws at you so why has he been so nice to you? I believe he's just sweetening you up for something"

"you're wrong, he's changed-I don't know what, but he wants me to be happy. He hasn't done anything bad lately, has he?"

"You are naïve, just because he has been all nice to you doesn't mean he is in truth, he's only sweetening you up, he still kills and tortures in a regular basis, just because you don't see it doesn't mean it's not happening"

"I-I knew that already, I just guess I didn't think he was the same as before. He's just been so good to me, I just wouldn't think he is just as dark as always…", I spoke calmly, I knew I was wrong to love a man so evil but I also truly believed he had died down on his magic…naivety it seemed was what I had experienced.

"So you find two wizards you happen to like aren't who you thought they were"

"I knew what they do and how they are-"

"but you also 'knew' they had changed, how wrong you were. You are just a girl, an intelligent and powerful one yes but still even you cannot change the darkest of people. Though I must say you have been successful in making them change around you. You're living in a fairytale"

"No I'm not!"

"yes you are, believing everything's fine and everyone's happy just because you are, you only see what happens inside the walls of these rooms"

"I have been outside of these walls and have seen what goes on outside and that's why I'm going to try and change things. I don't care what you think. Look, I've had enough grief during my time here, far more than anyone out there, just because I'm happy now doesn't mean I haven't suffered. Remember how badly I was treated? So don't imply that I have no idea what it feels like"

"I wasn't saying that-"

"oh I think you were, can you go now? I'm already stressed out enough being pregnant and helpless to use much magic, he's even restricted most magic not just harming others! I am just trying to be as happy as possible by just thinking about my children for now"

"I don't want to go, I came here to use the library and that's what im going to do", he stood up when I stood up and came over very close, "you are very naïve and should always be alert, you never know what might happen…", he lowered his voice and parted lips within an inch of mine as if tempting me to kiss him he smirked then pulled away. "Me and Narcissa are an item but that doesn't matter when it comes to other things, you see I am a very lustful man"

"just stay away from me"

"I may, I may not"

"just stay away. I was just talking normally to you and then you piss me off, and then you go and basically threaten me!"

"I didn't threat", he sat down with his smirk still played across his lips. I was between nervous and angry so I stormed off into the bedroom and lay down without another word. Fucking Snape must enjoy what he does.

"What's up with you?", Voldemort surprised me from the armchair silkily, I hadn't noticed him so I sat up to see him reading quietly, only acknowledging me with his words.

"Nothing milord, just Snape…why are you here? I thought you were away, seeing as nearly every day you leave and only return at night, not even that sometimes…"

"I am a busy wizard. I'm here because im making a public speech in a few hours and I wish for you to be there by my side"

"what, as a mascot?", I tutted to his look of dismay

"seriously what's wrong?", he put up a leg and lay back against the chair casually, settling his book on the arm.

"Nothing milord, I'm just wondering why I need to be at your speech, what's it even about?", I asked now sitting opposite him.

"What has changed and how things will change even more. People are going to see the extent of my patience after I've been noticing a few…_creases_ in things"

"so basically you're going to have a show of tortures and you want me there by your side to make you look even stronger. I'm not stupid milord, and I don't want to go but of course I will have to", I said dully, "as I'm _no_ equal of yours to question or attempt to deny you anything", I sneered.

"I know you aren't stupid, but you are right, no matter how much it disgusts you, you cannot and will not deny me _anything_"

"as long as I know where I stand"

"don't give me that. I have been very generous seeing as you are pregnant as I want things to be perfect, but do not test me, if you attempt anything to embarrass me I will have to punish you-no matter what stage of pregnancy you're in, the babies can't be harmed so be grateful I've let you off things"

"and there I was believing you really cared"

"I do. But I am not going to let anyone make me look weak; no matter how important they are to me"

"fine. It doesn't bother me one little bit milord"

"it doesn't seem like it; anyway that doesn't bother me either. So how are you?", he asked kindly as if we were a normal couple.

"I'm ok"

"is that all?"

"You're acting like a psychologist or something!"

"A what?"

"Someone who-never mind! Why are you being so weird!"

"I'm not; it's you who is being strange. You're acting differently"

"It's nothing, Snape just pissed me off a bit, but he also just sort of opened my eyes a bit more too how _naïve_ I have and can be. You know I forgot you were even the dark lord because of how good you have been, I actually love seeing you and when we talk and do things together…but all of that just distracts me from the fact you _are_ the dark lord and that you do hurt a lot of people", I explained quietly not really looking at him, "so you see milord, that's maybe why I'm a bit off with you"

"yes I'm the dark lord, but you don't need to worry about that, it doesn't involve or affect you so you don't have to think about it-"

"I know it does affect me but that's not the point…it doesn't matter, I can't be bothered to even talk about it, it won't change a thing…"

"It's up to you. So have you been reading up about pregnancy and twins?"

"Yes I have. I never really thought I'd be pregnant as a teenager so I never ever looked at anything before about it, I'm a complete novice so I was really worried when I first found out about the pregnancy. The healer has been very helpful though and she has been almost like a friend, it's been good and everything's fine"

"good. I think I should punish Snape though for putting ideas in your head, he knows doesn't he"

"You aren't punishing him, I don't particularly like him but I can't have you punishing someone for me when it's unneeded milord. Please, I'm not demanding I'm asking milord"

"Ok I won't, but I want no problems"

"there aren't any milord", I lied, he could tell I was but didn't press on the issue.

...

It's not just a speech, a few hundred people are going to hear what I have to say and witness some things, and Hermione will be there to see for herself how I wasn't soft. I just hoped she wouldn't try anything, as I wouldn't think twice about punishing her; it wouldn't harm the babies so there were no risks to that. I just don't want to do it, but I know I must in public.

Snape was a tricky man, I only wish he would stop being such a bastard and show his true self, he wasn't that bad but he hid himself because he didn't want to be weak. He had taken a liking to Hermione but I know for a fact he isn't interested in anything…physical from her, just to tease and play with her mind was all he wanted. That wasn't a problem with me as long as he didn't touch her properly.


	18. Creases

_As long as he needs me...  
Oh, yes, he does need me...  
In spite of what you see...  
...I'm sure that he needs me._

Who else would love him still  
When they've been used so ill?  
He knows I always will...  
As long as he needs me.  
-As long as he needs me-Nancy, Oliver

*

We were at Hogwarts, in the great hall to be exact in front of probably hundreds of people from all parts of the country, no students could be seen (though I noticed Draco and a few of his cronies smirking near the back) but the teachers were present. I didn't know what to feel as I stood next to, well slightly behind Voldemort as he spoke boldly and strongly to the crowd, I wasn't even listening to him as I felt like a mascot. A symbol of his power.

I was in shock when we arrived at the ancient school, even more when I noticed how it had changed, of course it was still a warm and inviting place but it felt different. Maybe just so many loved ones I had been with only a couple of years ago used to be here in this very castle, now they were gone. This castle was once a place I loved, now it just haunted me with memories I no longer wished to have. I didn't want to remember my time at Hogwarts anymore, it just hurt me to think how things were and how they had changed, and it was just easier to feel like Voldemort was all I had ever had.

I didn't say a word for the time I was there, I looked down at my toes as he spoke, I didn't care what he had to say, it would just bring misery. I looked up while still blocking out what he was saying when I noticed almost the same thing as I saw in diagon alley, a man whispering aggressively to a young woman while holding tightly onto her shoulder making her visibly wince.  
I watched them carefully up until I heard applause from the crowds and Voldemort nodding his head as if ending his speech appreciatory but merely it was him saying 'I could kill you all in an instant so don't piss me off'. I turned back round to see the man lowering his wand and the woman with a noticeable gash across her arm, like a knife had sliced it swiftly but painfully, her eyes were filled with tears as she bit her lip and held onto it to stop herself from screaming. I knew he had done it with a variation of Sectumsempra, just a smaller version and it angered me a lot.

I knew I shouldn't have but I couldn't control it, I marched down from the stand Voldemort stood at and to the man who seemed-as well as everyone else, surprised.  
"is there a problem _milady?_", he emphasised the milady as I knew he didn't believe I should be a lady, I was only a slave in his eyes even if I was the dark lords wife.

"There might be, could you explain why she has a slice across her am which wasn't there a minute ago?", I looked over to the woman now trying to cover it up.

"I don't know what you mean", he smirked, infuriating me even more.

"Don't toy with me", I said in a deadly tone

"she disagreed when I told her she would be…_staying_ the night with a colleague of mines", he smirked broader making me laugh to his surprise.

"not a good enough answer", I punched him in the jaw unexpectedly making him groan out in pain and fall back onto the floor, he quickly got up angrily with his wand out of his pocket again.

"why you-milord, im terribly sorry but-", he quickly changed his tone and hastily stuffed his wand back into his robes, bowing to the man behind me.

"That's enough", Voldemort said tonelessly, I hadn't noticed but now everyone was looking my way.

"Oh I don't think so", I went for another punch but my fist was frozen in midair by Voldemort and dropped back to my side before I could get in contact with the man's face.

"I do. Now go up there and I want you to explain what and why you did it, as I want everyone to know what a complete fool you have been", he sneered dragging me in front of everyone.

"Fine", I growled then made my voice louder with my wand, "as all of you-or most of you witnessed just now, I tried to knock out that wizard down there. And do you want to know_ why?_ it's because the bastard deserved it! You see you might all be pure-bloods or have all the money in the world, but that gives you _no_ right to treat others like shit. All of you who do, deserve to rot in fucking hell-", my sentence was cut off with a punishment from Voldemort. A 'small' crucio for a few seconds before pulling away, I couldn't stop screaming and once he finished I was left gasping on the floor.

_I'm sorry Hermione but you brought that on yourself_ I heard his voice in my head, what the fuck! _I can communicate inside your head using legillmency, now I know that punishment may have pissed you off but you were making me look bad…_  
"No one is to threaten her, no one is to touch her, no one is to use any magic on her and no one is to harm her in any way", Voldemort boomed aloud to everyone. "I have no patience and will not be as soft as I have been from here forth, if I can torture my wife in front of you all, I will not hesitate for others…I will not tolerate harm to those who do not deserve it, you", he looked down at the man I punched, "why did she attack you?"

"I do not know milord-"

"you fucking do! You hurt that woman for no reason, she is a human being not a puppet or a toy!", I cried furiously

"that is enough!", Voldemort gripped my shoulder, "I think everyone needs a reminder of what I can do to people…", He then all of a sudden spoke the incantation to the cruciatus curse and tortured a selection of muggles who were cowered to the side I hadn't noticed before, their screams made me feel sick but he seemed to enjoy it. I looked over to see quite a lot of people not at all disgusted at what he was doing, I grabbed his arm and tried to lower his wand but he didn't.

"Please stop it! They haven't done anything!"

"I wasn't going to punish you again so I decided to punish others in your place"

"please, please punish me instead! This isn't right!", I screamed but he just finished with the killing curse and the muggles were dead, "fuck. Why did you do that!"

"I told you", he lowered his voice to me but gripped onto me quite tight, "now you weren't listening to my speech was you. You didn't hear what I had to say about what is going to happen, slaves are going to be given harder work and less choice-"

"what! But-"

"but…but you didn't listen to me finish my sentence. I have decided from now no servant shall be harmed in any magical way, forcing them, beating or whatever is still allowed though, I do not care what you have to say", I looked up at Voldemort open mouthed, how confusing can someone get?

_I get what I want and so do you, this way I hear no complaints from you_  
"I'm not going soft but I believe it's because of this overwhelming sense of power for individuals that is why there are distractions and lack of effort from the general population. Giving servants some freedom may benefit me, only those I allow personally I believe should be able to harm another being magically, including my deatheaters", it was a start.

"We're all human, no one should be treated as a slave but I know of course you won't change that", I spat, "you have still pissed me off though…why would you do that anyway? Lessen the harm that can come to them?"

"because I know it will help me out", he said quietly to me, "I think only a handful of people can cope with the load of power felt when controlling a sla-servants and that's why I have suffered problems from my empire lately…", he explained but I wasn't listening once again, I saw someone I didn't recognise raise their wand up at me. Before I had time to register what they were doing I was struck with the killing curse, blasting me back into the castle wall, it was unbearable pain but I had to bare it, it was the force of the wall on my spine that hurt the most. I didn't move, just lay not wanting to get up but I could hear several gasps and screams.

"The dark lords wife is dead!", I heard someone cry before Voldemort shouted a stunning spell into the opposite direction.

I knew I was bleeding pretty bad but I eventually found the energy to slowly push myself up, I heard dozens of gasps and then silence, I still sat but it was clear I was alive. Voldemort thankfully healed my injuries though I was still weakened from the Avada Kedavra, as I lightly stood leaned slightly onto Voldemort who had him arm around me for support I became more aware of my surroundings.

"What happened?", I asked dazed

"I think you were just killed milady", someone said a few feet away in shock making me laugh to everyone's surprise once again. I felt like saying, 'oh what, again?' but there was a time and a place…

"Take the man to my dungeons and keep him stunned", Voldemort ordered a couple of deatheaters to his right, which they quickly obliged by dragging the unconscious man from view, the man who tried to kill me.  
"You may be wondering what just happened there", he addressed the audience of wizards and witches, "My wife is very powerful, she, like myself cannot die, not anymore. That is all you need to know, anyone who questions me or my followers will not be in too good condition afterwards…", he announced before picking me up in his arms and leaving. The look on everyone's faces of shock and bewilderment was hilarious but I was too exhausted to laugh.

Once we were back in our bedroom he lay me on the bed and kissed my forehead.  
"I'm sorry. Whoever did this will suffer, thankfully the babies cannot be harmed unless you actually die which isn't going to happen now is it"

"I don't care milord, people are always going to want to kill me because of their hate for you, though most people bow down willingly there's always going to some people, I suppose now at least people don't have to bother trying to kill me as they know it's not possible…"

"There's a bright side to everything", he said cheerfully which didn't affect me in anyway happily.

"So what's the bright side of you torturing me?", I lowered my eyes to avoid his gaze.

"You stepped out of line, so you were punished. Now don't complain as I don't want to hear it, it's not a big deal and it taught you a lesson"

"I've known that lesson since the first day I was here _milord_. But no, it's not a big deal is it? Not to you…you might as well get going, if you're just going to torture that guy…"

"He tried to kill you and you're talking as if you feel sympathy of some sort for him? I forbid you to feel sympathy-or any other emotion I do not give you permission to feel, for anyone!"

"You _forbid_ me? And now I can't even like someone or hate someone?", I questioned annoyed, "fuck it, if you can't trust me to even feel emotions now I don't know why I'm here!"

"You're here because you are my wife"

"no. you say you love me but do you even know what it is? You do though don't you, and that's why you will always win. Because you know everything and even with the best thing in the world you can twist it into something evil", he looked at me carefully, "I'm here because I happen to be pretty powerful and you want it for yourself milord, I carry your children yet you still don't think twice to hurt me. You need to sort it out big time". He looked a bit saddened by what I had said and I regretted saying it as soon as the words left my lips.

"You better go to sleep, being hit with a killing curse can drain you of your energy so rest", he said

"Fine", I rolled over to face away from him but he just apparated to my other side and sat on the bed.

"you are angry at me because of a lot of things, just remember what you can be happy about, that might help"

"I don't get that pissed lately but I think you bring it out in me", I barely smiled but it was there, I hated being able to give in so easily, but I felt bad about what I had said even if he had tortured me. In my eyes, hurting someone emotionally is far worse than anything physical, from experience.

"Sleep well and maybe when you wake up you can find it in you once again to forgive me", he kissed my hand like a gentleman which made me giggle before he left.

He is such a bastard but I love him all the same. Maybe, just maybe things will work out. Properly.

...

"Crucio!", I growled once again to hear the prisoners screams, once again when I finished he lay panting weakly until he gained enough energy to push himself up to lean against the cold stone wall. "You have felt nothing yet, this is just the start!"

"I don't care, because I know that when I die, I know I hurt you! You have not a scratch on you but I saw your face when you saw _her_ thrown against the wall, bleeding, broken and weak. You knew she couldn't die, but it hurt you to see her in pain, I saw it in those eyes of yours…", the man laughed. I kicked his stomach making him yelp in pain, his hands were chained to the wall and he was clearly in pain but still he laughed.

"Why do you want to be tortured?"

"I want to be with my family, in the afterlife, I know now at least I brought them some vengeance. You had my wife, daughter and son slaughtered for not giving away my daughter to the death eaters; apparently she had to be a slave as no one in my family's village was one. Of course she was the nearest one to fit the standards needed you fucking bastard! So you had them all killed instead, leaving me to suffer. But you see, I made your wife suffer"

"so you think this makes us square?", I smirked getting ready to torture him again

"square? To be square I would have had to kill that wife of yours and then have the child she is carrying forced to be a slave and then kill that as well-"

"you speak of a child?", I grabbed his short hair tight, demanding to know how he knew.

"What you didn't know was that a lot of people want their revenge on you, take your wife's healer for instance…I suspect you have no idea what you have put people through but I believe by now news of your wife's pregnancy would have spread fast. And the healer, though a friend of your wife, I daresay and enemy of yours, she is dead, I killed her when she told me knowing you would do it anyway", the man told me psychotically, this man was mad. "Before you kill me, I warn you to keep that dear wife of yours safe…", his words drifted as I killed him in rage.

I punched the stone wall out of fury making me wince subtly but it wasn't the pain that affected me, it was the fact this worthless man was right. It hurt when I saw her in pain, news would have spread easily by now about Hermione and she was a very beautiful woman, so many times had I caught my followers lusting after her. The sods already had all the girls they needed but it was just because it was Hermione, I originally would have liked for her to be fucked by every deatheater I had but then things just changed when I married her.

A few hours later Hermione wasn't talking to me and still upset from the news that her healer was dead, it didn't affect me so much as so many die, but them two had made a bond maybe, friends possibly?  
"I don't want another healer, I don't care about it, I can do this myself now! I will only see a healer when I have to and I promise you, you can't force me to this time!", she cried angrily

"why are you so upset with me?"

"Because you're the reason she and so many others are dead! If you made things fair all this wouldn't happen milord!"

"life is unfair, it's up to you if you see a healer or not because I am growing tired of this pettiness"

"you think I would be ok with you because you passed a law that no servant can be harmed magically, that is only the smallest improvement but then you made it worse by saying they will be treated worse basically! Now just leave me alone!", a tear fell down her cheek just before she turned away to look into the fireplace

"No, you always knew I wasn't a good person but you keep acting like I should be or have been, I won't ever change now you can either be ok with that or go"

"go?", she turned back round to face me in surprise.

"Yes just go if you don't want to be here, leave. I don't want you here if you don't want to be with me, you aren't a slave, just a captive if you wish to be elsewhere. So here I am, releasing you from this 'prison' that is here, there's no security keeping you here it's all down to you!", I growled. I couldn't believe I was saying it, not as much as her who was now crying silently before dashing off into the bathroom.  
I groaned as I sat in the armchair staring into the fire, crackling and warm against my skin, it felt nice to feel warmth it just wasn't as good as Hermione's body.

I didn't mean to say those things, I was just so angry and sad at the same time, I just wanted her to know what I truly was. A dark, evil and sadistic wizard who though he had fallen in love, had only changed for her, I was still exactly the same murderous man, I just didn't do it that much around her.

I was tired, and she needed a break from me so I fell asleep where I was.

"Milord! Milord!", I heard a squeaky voice calling me, I sleepily opened my eyes to come face to face with an insignificant house elf

"how dare you awake me when I do not need to be disturbed!"

"But sir! Miss is gone!"

"What?"

"Miss left the grounds just now!", it squeaked nervously. "Miss didn't tell Squishy where miss is going, Squishy couldn't stop miss when miss was sad"

I quickly stormed through to the library to see she was nowhere to be seen, a small note was left on the table which I hurriedly picked up.

_Sorry_

She left. She doesn't want to be here, with me. I actually felt the saddest I had ever felt in my life, I loved her yet it seemed she didn't back. I couldn't shed a tear even though I felt I needed to, tears were long gone from my system…fuck, how was she doing this to me!

How could she willingly go? So easily after everything?

...

Why did I do it! I screamed inside my head when I apparated away into a snowy village of some kind, I had no idea where I was I just arrived anywhere. It was snowing and freezing cold as I was only wearing a thing robe over my clothes. I started to wish I hadn't left but I felt I had to, but before I could make that decision I slipped on some ice and fell. Then it went dark. 


	19. Old friends

_I keep on fallin', in and out of love with you  
I never loved someone the way that i'm lovin' you_

Oh Oh, I... never felt this way  
How do you give me so much pleasure,  
cause me so much pain,  
'Cause when I  
think I'm taking  
more than would a fool I start  
fallin' back in love with you.  
-Alicia Keys, Fallin

...

I opened my eyes dazed and confused as I felt a dull ache inside my head but it didn't bother me as much as when I widened my eyes as I noticed the unfamiliar surroundings around me. Just a small wooden floored small room with old red walls, I couldn't see any other furniture in the room from where I was sitting, but all I could think was where the hell am I?

"I wish I hadn't found you but I happened to and seeing as you were practically bleeding to death I had to help", a voice I remembered said by the side of the bed I wasn't facing, I turned round and almost fainted as my heart skipped a beat. It wasn't real-it wasn't possible.

"I killed you", I gasped and pushed myself back and then sighing, I must have really whacked my head now it's making me see things

"No you didn't, well I guess you deserve an explanation at most. You-know-who gave me an ultimatum: die by your hand or disappear, of course he knew I wouldn't care if I died, better to get it over with, but by your hand? No, I couldn't have that. Strange the dark lord gave me the choice of life and death but I know it was just to make me suffer, I either die with no pride or live with nothing, I would prefer to wait till I can die proudly"

"It's really you isn't it. He made me suffer and all the time you were alive", I looked into the eyes of Ron. Pale and gaunt, his fiery hair completely lost in his cold self, "Who did I kill?"

"I dunno, something about polyjuiced...he happened to have been 'inspired' you could call it by something", he explained as I shook my head at the thought of Voldemort using the method that was used for Lucius's 'death' against me.

But it was true, I hadn't killed someone I loved dearly and that just filled me with warmth and a smile.

"It's me and I was extremely annoyed when I found you, I'm not supposed to be near you and if I am found within contact of you I will probably be thrown into Azkaban, and I don't need that! I only helped because I would probably be given the same fate if I was found to be the one who left you to die, though you can't"

"So everyone _does_ know then, news travels fast, I wouldn't have thought seeing as you live in such small village"

"I still get the daily prophet delivered, I need some sort of bloody normality in my life", he spat.

"Do you really hate me that much?"

"Why wouldn't I? You are the reason so many I love are dead! Be grateful I healed your head though you will probably still feel it for a couple of hours"

"Thank you"

"I don't need your gratitude, I just need to stay out of Azkaban", he sneered but then wiped any tears from his eyes before lowering his voice sadly but angrily at the same time, "you were my best friend, why did you have to change?"

"I didn't", I tried to reason with him

"You aren't Hermione Granger anymore, the girl I used to love as my best friend is long gone"

"I'm still Hermione, but I'm just married to a complete bastard who is probably the most evil man in history. You think it has been easy for me and I enjoyed all what has happened? Let's look at it shall we, first I'm kidnapped, tortured, _raped_ and forced to work as a slave for the dark lord! I was made to watch others feel pain before being murdered before my very eyes and I was treated worse than a house elf at times! You think I enjoyed all that? If you really think I loved watching my friends dying and having to make such cruel decisions, losing everyone I love and the ones who lived hated me" I cried with tears streaming down my face. "I'm sorry what I have done has hurt so many people but I won't apologize for finding some happiness during the horrors I encountered"

"I'm sorry about what you went through but marrying the dark lord? Falling in love with him? Becoming the dark lady or whatever they call you? That doesn't seem like you're that sorry-"

"I didn't want to marry him when he forced me to and I certainly do not like being called the 'dark lady', but I admit I fell in love. Stupid maybe but it can't be helped, fuck I shouldn't have left-"

"-left?", he cut in.

"I left because I thought he didn't care, I'm so stupid!", I whacked my own head but instantly regretted it as I laid against the back of the bed, "I'm sorry, but I can't believe you're here, still alive, I never ever thought this would happen!"

"Once your head gets better you can go back to wherever you came from. You know I should be in Hogwarts, completing my NEWT's but of course I can't, I'm not allowed and anyway, how did you happen to arrive a few yards away from my home?", he eyed me suspiciously, this isn't some sort of trap is it?"

"It was pure coincidence and you know I would never do that to you Ronald! You may hate me but at least I know I'm still me, now I know I apologised to you finally my mind can rest, I tried", I pushed myself up out of the bed noticing I was still wearing what I was before I fell. I sat on the bed facing him but with my head bowed as I felt my small bump, happy they couldn't be harmed inside me.  
"I'll leave then if you want me to go, I don't want to intrude on you"

"I didn't mean-", Ron stuttered going a bit red, "I mean..."

"don't worry, I'm sorry for everything I have ever done to hurt you or anyone, as long as you know I'm not a bad person then im fine"

"I guess I should accept your apology, it's the least I can give you", he admitted awkwardly, "Ive adjusted to my new life now anyway so let's say I'm used to the new world, and well I'm engaged actually, I met a muggle down the village a few months ago but I love her, dad would have probably been proud"

"wow, congratulations!" I smiled, "well, I wish you happiness for the future"

"thank you", he avoided eye contact with me and he was a bit red still, I know he probably hates me a lot but we were best friends for so long in the past I guess we still had a link.

"I still love you as if you were my brother, you were always there and I wish I could have turned back time and not got myself kidnapped and forced to do all those terrible things, but I can't so I hope that even if you don't like me that you could at least trust what I say is true"

"I do. Hey-what's that?", he frowned confused as he pointed at my bump noticeably showing in the position I was sitting.

"I'm, well", I pulled up my clothes to show my baby bump to Ron's gobsmacked face, "well yeah", I lowered my clothes again.

"Well, I didn't expect that", he coughed going redder than ever, "congrats as well I suppose..."

"Thank you Ron...if only things had been different eh?"

"Tell me 'bout it, well I don't know what to say as I'm still pissed at you but I suppose I'm glad we've finally spoken"

"likewise. Well, I know you're not happy with me but I would like to see you again-"

"I'm not allowed near you but I think I would have like to as well, seeing as you're an old friend I don't see many these days. But you can go _home_ knowing I have forgiven you", he said quietly making me beam; I stood up and hugged him like we were best friends again.

"Thank you, you don't know how much that means to me!", I gasped with tears in my eyes, "I know of course you aren't 100% with me but what you just said means more than anything!", I let go and couldn't wipe the smile off as I sat back down. "I think...well if you want, can I stay a little long-fuck!"¨, I cried as I felt a familiar pain across my arm.

"What is it? It's not the baby is it?"

"No", I looked down at my arm with tears in my eyes from the pain to see those words carved in my skin, "just the dark lord"

"what the fuck", Ron said horrified at the blood glistening and dripping onto my lap.

_Return or be taken_

Almost exactly the same words as before, they healed as soon as they were read but the pain could still be felt and the blood stayed, I disgustedly cleansed it away and lay back against the bed as I kneeled on the floor.  
"He's not happy, I can tell because he wouldn't carve words into my skin if he just missed me. I knew I shouldn't have left but I was going to return almost as soon as I did but I banged my head just before...eurgh!"

"You better go then, I'm not stopping you"

"it's nice to know you want me here", I said sarcastically, "I'm sorry, I just made a stupid mistake, acting like a spoiled child and I'm taking it out on you. I need-well I want to go back but I want to spend some time with you as well, if you'd like that? I think the dark lord can wait, just a little bit"

"I didn't know he was the sort of wizard who had a lot of patience"

"No he hasn't got much of that, but I promise I will return soon, he will find me if I don't soon anyway-don't worry! If he does come you won't be punished, I'll just say a variation of the truth, you found me and healed me, I just woke up a few minutes before he arrive. I probably won't even need to tell the story as I _will_ go"

"Ok, it's up to you"

"thank you. So what do you do these days?"

"I work in my brothers joke shop, they were lucky to keep it open actually but you know Fred and George-"

"they're ok? Thank Merlin!"

"Yes well, they can get themselves out of anything, they're the only people I have really but I only work in their shop on a weekend when they are away working on new products so I rarely see them. They still do the jokes to keep peoples spirits up, they are quite popular actually"

"Wow. At least that's a good thing"

"Yes it is, things are normal in that sense, how about you? You know what I mean, how's life in general?", he asked casually.

"Fine thank you, I have everything I _need_ and I do love my husband for some reason", I laughed, "I have no idea you know"

"I would like to know actually, seeing as he destroyed your life and everything", Ron said coldly

"I know I shouldn't technically but I love him more than anything, I'm sorry if that disappoints or disgusts you but I can't help how I feel. I hate how evil he is and I refuse to take part in anything that involves death or pain, though I'm sometimes forced to", I lowered my eyelids out of guilt but raised them again as I realised I had nothing to be guilty of.  
"Your ashamed of me aren't you"

"If you want it blatantly then yes I am. I know you couldn't help going through what you did but you didn't have to basically join him willingly, you were weak"

"I was anything but weak Ronald, you try going through what I had to go through, you think you went through so much but I promise you it was _nothing_ compared to what I went through!"

"Whatever you say", he rolled his eyes angering me but I kept my cool as much as I could.

"I guess I'll be going then if we can't get on", I stood up and prepared to apparate but he put his arm on my shoulder with eyes full of sorrow.

"I'm sorry I just can't trust you anymore"

"I know and I don't expect you to, I just want us to get on, at least. I'm sorry for everything, I don't want to be a bad person and have tried everything possible not to be one"

"You aren't a bad person. Come on, I'll make you a butterbeer and we can act like were school kids again over a game of wizard chess if you'd like"

And that was that.

Luck was with me when I was found by Ron, and he was alive and 'well', though he didn't trust me that much we bonded a lot over the next few hours.

...

"Hermione..."

I whispered her name in my study as I waited, I must be obsessed, and my ancestors would be laughing at me if they were alive. The damn girl must be enjoying what she was putting me through but the thing was, I had to have her back, not just for her safety but I simply felt lost without her. Maybe it was because a fragment of my soul resides inside of her and so I would logically miss her, but I just wanted her.

"Milord she will return of course, she is in no danger or you would know about it by now"

"I know but that's not the point. Back to business, I'm going to Hogwarts in about an hour, part some _wisdom_", I smirked and sipped my muggle brandy smugly.

...

Wizard chess I was rubbish at compared to Ron but I didn't care, it was fun, actual fun. I hadn't had that in so long, doing stuff people my age do, we even went out and made a snowman for a laugh, it was as if nothing had happened between the two of us. I was still in shock that he was alive, but I was more than happy we were almost good friends again.  
I had awoken in the morning when I first arrived; it seemed I was knocked out over night so I decided to spend up till evening with him until I would have to leave, latest.

"I'm cold", I shivered but smiled at the warmth of his little home as we returned inside

"Attacking me with a snowball was always going to get about 300 in return", he laughed and passed over a butterbeer as well as one for himself.

"I'll remember that in future", I smirked before swallowing the hot liquid happily even though it burned a bit.

"That's something to tell the baby when it's older, 'don't do snowball fights, snowballs bad, stay home, read books'", he said like a caveman making me giggle.

"They will read books, but I'm making sure the dark lord removes all the dark ones from their reach-actually, about 99% are dark so I think I will just give them the suitable ones"

"Them?"

"Didn't I mention it? It's twins", I looked up at his surprised face.

"Well...two mini dark lords running about won't be easy"

"They won't be mini dark lords as I'm going to use all my power to prevent any dark business involved in their lives and also I never said it would be easy"

"I meant, well, I just want you to be ok"

"I am and I will be, don't worry about me", I assured him, "thank you Ronald"

"No problem 'mione, it's not I ever thought it would be, I imagined checking out the baby's father to make sure he would be good enough and help you out whenever you need it"

"You can still help me out like I will help you as much as you need, even if the dark lord doesn't allow it I will do all I can to-"

"I can look after myself", he smiled

"I know and that's why I admire you so much, look I think I have to go, I've been lucky enough that the dark lord hasn't found me yet but it's only a matter of time. I guarantee you that it would be better for me to return than be taken"

"Well I know we've had a rough time but I feel so lucky that I found you and we are friends again, i might never see you again so, well, I'm going to miss you", I didn't reply but beamed as I hugged him tearfully.

...

"Lucius...kill the muggles in the dungeons, I was going to use them to just take my anger out on but Ive realised I don't need to, I'm not angry, I'm not anything", I told Lucius quietly as he bowed in the bedroom doorway. He wouldn't enter as he knew he would be deeply punished but I didn't mind at this point in time.

"If course mi-"

"-milord...", a soft toned voice announced itself in the bathroom doorway, I spun around to see _her_ holding her hands together awkwardly as if unsure what to do, her lips slightly parted like she was lost for words but overall she looked the same as she left. "I-I, erm..."

"You are dismissed Lucius" I let him know but he was gone before I finished the sentence, obviously sensing the tension.

"I don't know what to say milord, I'm sorry I left, I know I shouldn't have and I regretted it as soon as I disaparated", I laughed and sat in the armchair motioning for her to sit opposite which she did shyly.

"I may have a few drinks in me, but I know I heard correctly...you are _sorry_?"

"It doesn't sound like much but I returned, I returned instead of being taken, I didn't wait for you to come"

"First things first", I tortured her for a moment just to show her how angry I was, now it was out of my system I could concentrate, "I don't care about your excuses _dear_, you see I'm not usually one for forgiving and mercy", I smirked making her visibly nervous.

"Then do what you must, I screwed up I know but I was just angry, surely you know the emotion well by now milord?" she whimpered as she pushed herself up.

"ah of course...so you just apparated here as soon as you regretted it? But apparently you regretted it was 'as soon as you disaparated'; so...I've gone back in time!"

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you milord"

"It suits me better than lies suit you, I don't like lies. You either tell me or I find out myself, either way I will know what happened between you leaving and returning", I threatened casually, she looked at me thinking hard what to say, "so enlighten me about your day"

"I, I apparated into a snowy village and I slipped and fell before I could even think about returning, I woke up to find I had banged my head and had been knocked out, I apparated back here", she replied simply

"That's not the whole truth is it?"

"I don't know what you mean", she said innocently

"Oh I think you do, now don't test my patience"

"I won't then, you want the truth? I will tell you if you promise me something: only punish me", I looked at her and smirked as I agreed, I didn't care for punishing anyone, I just needed the truth.  
"I met a young man I once thought had been murdered...by my hand", she continued at my confused eyes, "his name is Ronald Weasley"

"ah so you met the youngest survivor of the blood traitors, I will enjoy hurting him, he knows not to be near you-"

"no! You can't and you _won't_ harm him, if it wasn't for him I would either be still unconscious on an icy lane or taken by someone much worse! Yes I met Ron, and I am so glad I did, I had fun", I raised an eyebrow but she didn't stop to hear me talk. "I was a normal teenager again, I acted my age and did stuff I _should_ be doing!"

"You should be here, doing what I tell you to do"

"because I live to serve you don't I...why didn't you tell me about Ron?"

"Because you needed some discipline, be grateful I didn't have you truly kill him, I'm not interested in a waste of a healthy pureblood being killed for no reason"

"You made me think I had for so long, it tortured me inside to think I had done that, but I guess I should thank you for sparing him"

"You should be grateful-"

"I've never been ungrateful, I've just been not that good at showing it but from now on things are going to change. I make my own decisions on who I am allowed to see, is that clear?", she spat boldly

"How dare you!", I raised my wand but lowered it as I realised I didn't want to curse her.

"It's all I ask, im sorry, I just want to be able to see Ron again, nothing else"

"Why?"

"because he's potentially the only person other than you and the twins I care about", she got up off of her seat and kneeled herself before me, "Can you please forgive me for leaving milord?"

"You came back when you could of ran"

"I'm no fool but even if I was I wouldn't have", she smile kissing my hand.

...

"Would you like a butterbeer?", I asked happily in bed the next morning as I made two appear from thin air-I had learnt how to do it from Ron.

"It seems I have no choice", he chuckled and took a deep sip, "you have had an obsession with the drink lately"

"I actually think I'm addicted, I'm constantly craving it! But it seems you crave me as well and you're not even carrying any children inside of you", I laughed as I received and affectionate kiss on my forehead as he kept his arm around my shoulder.

"I can't get enough of you even though you angered me _quite_ a lot yesterday...but never mind, there are more important matters. I wanted you to come to work with me, only to the ministry, nowhere dangerous of course"

"why?"

"because I thought it would be interesting for you, and this way you're not bored during the day and get to see other people, as well as me being able to make sure you are learning as well as safe"

"you don't have to worry about me! I'm safe, I just made a stupid mistake and left-by myself, no one kidnapped me or harmed me! But thank you, I will love to go to the ministry with you, and I used to want to work there as well..."

"Its settled then, as long as you always address me as 'milord; and don't do anything stupid, I'm putting a charm on you to prevent you saying a word against me or anything connected to me-in any way"

"Fine. I don't care anymore", I smiled and took his lips deeply, "thank you for understanding and not punishing me as much as I know you would usually have to any other person"

"Let's just say you bring something out in me and I thank you for that, I love you"

"you don't realise how much that means to me", I whispered as I gazed into the eyes that matched my own colour. 


	20. How things have changed

_I am alone at a crossroads  
I'm not at home in my own home  
And I've tried and tried  
To say whats on my mind  
You should have known  
Now I'm done believing you  
You don't know what I'm feeling  
I'm more than what  
You've made of me  
I followed the voice, you gave to me  
But now I've gotta find my own  
You should have listened  
-Beyonce, Listen_  
...

"It feels so weird being back here, it's like the place i was at before i was brought to you, brought into my new life...", i whispered as we walked down a crowded hallway towards an office in the Ministry of Magic. Everyone we passed avoided eye contact and bowed their heads to Voldemort,  
"It seems everyone has a bad neck milord", i muttered sarcastically making him chuckle, it was still strange to hear or see a smile from him, even though i _had_ seen so many.

Finally after entering the warm, rich office, Voldemort sat himself behind a mahogany desk piled with documents and paperwork as well as a small lamp and a few leather bound books, the room was obviously a private one as no one but us was in there and no one entered or got within a few feet of the door, i could see through a window in the wall showing the outside, but not visible from outside. How nosey! He indicated for me to stand in front of him and quickly wrote a note on some parchment.

"If you want to make yourself useful you can go to Severus's office and give him this note, it tells him that it was me who sent you and that you are to assist him if he needs it"

"so basically I'm just here to do all the shitty stuff no one else can be bothered to do...fine i better get on with it then _milord_", i quickly added to make sure he knew i wasn't being disrespectful, he wouldn't think twice to torture me.

"It's down by where we apparated to, he works in a private office like my own as he is minister, i don't usually work here but when i do this is where i stay, anyway there is a sign on his door-"

"don't worry milord, i think ill manage", i smiled and took the note, "i feel like I'm back at school, taking a note from the teacher to give to another and-...never mind", I finished, knowing full well he wouldn't understand me talking about being at school, his school life would have been so different from my own.

"I don't remember doing that sort of stuff at school, i mainly remember using the chamber of secrets, becoming head boy and fucking quite alot of girls i never knew the names of"

"so your school life wasn't that similar to my own, strange how people who are so different end up together...", i said before leaving without another word.

*

It had been any years since i had remembered my school years properly, those were the days when i became who i am today, ah...i loved even at such a young age being able to control, hurt and even kill others, even then i wanted-no...i already had power.

My genius horcruxes were my first step to being the dark lord, even then my classmates referred to me as their lord and followed my orders knowing i would torture them easily. I took full advantage of my private room, being head boy and all but in previous years i just used the room of requirement, it was so much easier that way to do things...

"So the dark lords pet is back and in need of a task...", Snape smirked as i passed him the note in his lonely office, everyone i passed did the same as with Voldemort, bowing their heads and avoiding my gaze. I didn't like it but i preferred the change of scenery and people who weren't death eaters around, i didn't let it bother me.

"Dark lords pet? That's a big step down from 'milady' or have i missed something?"

"You never liked the title anyway so don't complain, i just decided calling you my lady is like saying you are higher than me, from now on i will do it out of respect in front of the dark lord"

"whatever you say, so what's the task? Seeing as you're a busy man i think I'm supposed to be _grateful_ you've taken the time to give me work, yeah right..."

"don't get snarky with me. Now, seeing as i have to give you something to do, you can organise those documents", he pointed to a very large pile of papers, "in alphabetical order"

"You're joking!"

"I rarely joke and never at work"

"It's going to take me hours!"

"It's a good thing you don't have to be anywhere else then", he smirked offering me a chair on a separate desk in his office, he levitated the heavy pile in front of me with a thud as a look of amusement spread across his face.

"Bastard", i muttered under my breath

"What was that?"

"I said this is going to be so interesting!", i smiled making him roll his eyes.

It was such boring work, stuff i knew i could have been paid quite alot for if i was being paid, but no, i _had_ to do it. I thought the ministry would be a bit more fun to be at but maybe the lack of visitors to Snape's office made it seem even more boring, he worked silently with a quill, occasionally getting up to pour himself a drink or receive or attach some mail to an owl. I felt like i was in detention or something, only worse as i had a small bump in front of me so it was harder to get as close to the desk as i would have liked.

"Having fun?", he hadn't spoken in what seemed like hours, and the first ones just _had_ to be sarcastic, "don't pout your lips like that, it's as if you didn't _want_ to be here", i looked up, not noticing i had been pouting my lips to stop myself from cursing him, i smiled to annoy him.

"Have you finished your work or something? I wouldn't have thought you would have been distracted by my lips if not"

"Though they are very nice, i was actually going to let you go"

"It's not a punishment or something, I'm here so the dark lord doesn't have to hear my complaints of being bored alone stuck in his chambers all day, so saying 'I'm letting you go' doesn't mean much to me. Anyway, where am i supposed to go? The dark lord won't be taking me back for a while yet"

"As long as you're in my company, i can go anywhere with you, so seeing as i have to go and talk to Lucius at my home, it seems you are coming too"

"what! I'm going nowhere near your place, last time i was there i was tied to a bed"

"would you have preferred to be let loose while high on lust potion, would you have wanted to find out the next day that i had taken full advantage of you?", he raised an eyebrow which i slowly nodded to, "good, now take my arm and we can apparate"

So that's how i ended up sitting alone in Snape's living room with only a few million books for company, i didn't wish to touch them-which was surprising but i was in no mood for Snape or Lucius, apparently Snape had some potions to attend to while Malfoy was just plain late. I was in no mood for Lucius definitely, after i heard he had murdered many muggles in cold blood, i had gone off getting along with him, i didn't want to mix with his type (though being the dark lords wife didn't help that much)

"The dark lady...a pleasant surprise...", Lucius announced himself politely before seating himself opposite myself, "No speaking today? A shame, we have not spoke in quite some time"

"It seems you've used your words instead to cast the unforgivable on innocents...I prefer to not involve myself with people who _lie_"

"Lie? I am not a good man and never have or will be, surely you knew that by now, well it doesn't bother me if you don't like me-"

"i didn't say that, i still like you but not in the same way anymore", i eyed his hand holding tightly onto his wand, which he had sneakily taken out of his cane, i wasn't stupid.  
"You might want to loosen that grip on your wand, it might break", i smirked as he furiously raised it up at me; he knew he couldn't do a thing but i dared him with my eyes to.

"Now, now Lucius, calm down, we don't want any..._accidents_ happening do we?", Snape appeared out of nowhere, i heard Lucius mutter something sounding much like 'Accidents happen' but lowered his wand anyway, he would be punished severely for hurting me.

"The mudblood's not worth it", it was my time to raise my wand from hidden in a deep pocket, they didn't know i was carrying it but i always had it on me.

"Don't _ever_ say that word", i said through clenched teeth.

"Isn't it a bit too much magic for someone who is unworthy to carry a wand?", Lucius taunted but knew how serious i was so didn't repeat _that_ word.

"Then i wonder why _you_ are holding one in your hand"

"Why you-!", he cut off before storming out of the room leaving me wanting to laugh, but Snape was still present looking quite unsure.

"Keep yourself out of trouble, the dark lord will not be happy to learn how you've been acting"

"I haven't done anything! Oh forget it, I'm bored as hell anyway so maybe it will be more interesting for you to take me back to the ministry just to hear the dark lord having a go at me, anything's better than sitting in here with nothing to do!"

"You are so spoilt. There are thousands of books in here probably and you are complaining"

"I've seen enough darkness to last a while, i don't need any books to lecture me on the stuff"

"A fair point, then i suggest you read up on pregnancy, i have a rather small selection in the corner"

"why in the world would you have-"

"Pregnancy is a time when a lot of hormones are produced in a woman, i researched how it could affect her magic, in the past when on my travels. They may or may not be of use to you. As long as you do not disturb me, i will be happy to allow you to touch what you like, just don't leave this room", and he was gone once again.

Sod this...i can't sit in a room filled with dark books on my own, alone and bored-and pregnant, well being pregnant didn't affect anything it was just uncomfortable. I glanced over to the door Snape and Lucius had just gone through before making my decision, i wasn't Snape's prisoner, he couldn't make me stay here. I couldn't get into trouble could i? I wasn't exactly leaving, i was going straight back to the ministry. I made my decision with one last look around the room, with a turn and a pop i was back in Snapes's office in the ministry.

"Who iz apparating here vithout consent?", a wand poked into the back of my left shoulder as i recognised the males European accent, i turned slowly and gasped in surprise, "Herm-niny?"

"You're getting better at pronouncing my name, and you accent isn't as thick as it was", i smiled as Victor Krum settled his wand by his side, still in deep shock, "What are you doing here!"

"You look different Herm-niny, vit is a pleasure to be in the presence of you again", he took my hand and kissed it like how he did in my fourth year, i blushed as he carried on, "I vork for the minister, quidditch vosn't vot i vanted to do...as a career, i still play regularly though-as a hobby now"

"Well, that's good to know, and you're ok!"

"Vhy vouldn't it be? Oh, i apologise, the dark lord's victory affected you more than most, I've vorked in the ministry vor about two years now, I'm used to it you could say"

"Oh"

"I vos saddened when i heard you ver taken back then, you alvays have had a special place in my 'art and now i see you again, so different"

"I'm no different from even when we danced at the Yule ball", i assured him, "please tell me you haven't changed Victor"

"I detest the dark art of magic, so i 'ave not. I vork as an assistant to the minister, it vos easy to get the job in the first place, being an international quidditch player, Fudge took me for the publicity...ven Snape took his post, he let me stay, being an old acquaintance from the triwizard tournament, i vink he believed i vould bring out my inner Drumstrang though"

"Why would you want to work in the ministry though?"

"It's more realistic than being a quidditch player for the vest of my days, as i said before, i still play just not as much", he nodded his head then looked at me curiously, "vhy are you here?"

"I'm supposed to be with Snape but i got bored so i apparated back to his office"

"The minister has killed for less"

"Maybe, but the only one who can punish me is the dark lord, I'm used to it now"

"Courage, that is a Gryffindor...er trademark?"

"Yes", i laughed, "supposedly it is, but not all are brave, take Wormtail for example..."

"I see vot you mean; the rat 'visits' the minister's office every now and again, pitiful. Herm-ninny, your appearance may have changed but i see you are still the same, those red tinted eyes and dark brown hair does not hide the real you"

"Thank you Victor, i missed you so much, i wrote to you as often as i could and I'm sorry i never got to visit your country, but of course...i didn't exactly get the chance"

"I moved to Britain the summer you vere taken, i missed you to, i hope i did not surprise you as much as you did to me"

"Well, i was surprised to see you here of all places, i knew you were...well alive, but i guess i just assumed you stayed in your country. I didn't even know quidditch still existed"

"Of course it does, it vould be good for you to come one day, unless you are still prisoner?"

"I-I, im not sure, i would love to come but it's not my decision", i lowered my eyes out of sadness, to my surprise he came over and put his hands on my shoulders, pushing my chin up to look in his eyes.

"I see you have gotten cosy with my wife Krum", the icy words from Voldemort's lips sliced across the room, i turned to see him looking, not angry, just very displeased?

"My apologies milord-"

"Don't apologise", i told Victor before looking back to my husband, "he did nothing"

" i will deal with you in a second. This is your first warning Krum, if i see you even in the same room as her without my knowledge, i will see to it that you won't see daylight for a very long time, is that clear?"

"Yes milord, of course, i apologise", Victor bowed his head before dashing out when Voldemort dismissed him.

"You didn't need to warn him as nothing happened"

"I told you not to leave Snape"

"I was bored and uncomfortable sitting in his house, so i came back here, not a crime is it?"

"You are very ungrateful; i thought I'd take you out of the room for the day, so you had a bit more freedom-"

"Freedom? being forced to spend a day doing nothing but organise papers and sit alone in a room, next to a couple of deatheaters! I came back to see you but then i saw Victor, well i missed him and it was nice to see an old friend"

"You only just saw an old friend! That red headed boy, i do not care about his name! That Krum boy isn't just an old friend though is he? Something happened between you two during the year of the triwizard tournament"

"What possibly could have happened! He took me to the Yule ball, and you make it sound like we were having an affair!"

"My sources told me you were seeing him back then"

"Does it matter? We went on a couple of dates and we might have made out as well a bit, but so what? I was just a regular teenager before you came alone and made my life hell!", i shouted but quickly covered my mouth, "I'm sorry, i didn't mean that"

"I know, but you will never ever mention being with another man, i have told you before, and this is your last chance"

"Ok, i know, i don't want to think about being with another person, but i kept in contact with Krum for about a year, just pen pals-friends, nothing more. As long as you know that, but all that is in the past"

"Krum is just an employee here, he won't be bothering you again"

"He wasn't bothering me. So what do you want me to do now? Go back to Snape's 'fun' place or go back home?"

...

"You will apologise to Snape-"

"What! The only person i apologise to is you, Snape didn't want me there in the first place, I'm not apologising for something he wanted to happen!"

"Don't i feel special", i smirked to which she rolled her eyes

"I bet you do"

"Well you _are_ apologising, its only out of courtesy, you are a lady and will act like a lady by apologising for your mistake"

"It wasn't a mistake", i heard her mutter under her breathe making me chuckle, she was the only person in the world who could make me do that so much.

"Then you will apologise anyway. I was just about to head off to Hogwarts when i found out you had left Snape, I'm going now"

"Why?"

"I was supposed to go yesterday but in the end changed my mind. I'm going to talk to the students, nothing wrong with that is there?",

"No, but it's a bit odd for you to go round to a school and just 'chat' to kids", she eyed me suspiciously

"I'm not going to torture anyone! Come with me"

"Huh?", before i answered i took her arm and apparated us to the gates outside Hogwarts. "Why did you bring me here!"

"You would probably go running off again, come"

"Don't order me around like a dog", she sneered, stubbornly standing still as i walked forward.

"If i remember correctly, you once wore a collar like a dog", i could see the rage in her eyes but she wisely bit her lip to stop herself saying anything. She followed me slowly across the grounds to the main doors of the castle on purpose, just to annoy me, but i wouldn't give her the satisfaction of letting her know that.

"You brought me as a punishment didn't you milord, because i spoke to Krum, I'm not stupid"

"I know you're not, why would bringing you here be a punishment?", she was right though, i partly brought her because i knew how she felt about this school now, she wanted to remember it as a good place to her.

"You know, you're not stupid either. At least do me a favour, don't make me look like I'm into dark magic"

"I'll do my best", i promised amused as i led her into the castle and towards the great hall

"Where are we...no not the great hall! Everyone is going to be there, it's going to be hard enough with just a few students let alone the whole student body!", she stopped in her tracks.

"If you don't come i will have to force you", i threatened. When she didn't move, i sighed and then imperioed her to follow, i could tell she was fighting it.  
I saw her pale as she stride with me into the hall, the room silenced as i strode casually in front of everyone; i was late. I released Hermione from the imperio knowing she wouldn't just walk out, she nervously looked over at recognisable faces and then back to her feet, bloody woman! She can face death eaters but she gets scared in front of teenagers...  
The Christmas trees lined the sides of the hall and snow seemed to be falling from the ceiling lightly-i should think about using one of those spells back home, it's good magic.

"I am a day late because of certain circumstances, but, i don't believe that is a problem", i said quietly but i knew they could all hear, it was silent other than my words.  
"I...I have changed my mind about what i came here for...Hogwarts is an ancient school, for centuries it has produced some of the greatest wizards in history, that's why I'm changing things...back"

"what?", Hermione turned to me dumbfounded, as did the rest of the school, none uttered a word as they waited for me to say something along the lines of 'I'm kidding, you're all going to die'.

"I made a mistake changing this school; so many intelligent, powerful wizards have been produced from here. I want more in the future, working for me. This is why everything is going back to how it was before i changed the rules, Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw will once again be separate houses who battle in quidditch and house points", i announced, i had had it planned since before Hermione left, but her words about being a regular teenager hit me hard. To get the most out of these students they needed to be normal teenagers, "But, dark arts is still compulsory as is defence-it is important", i added.

_What the fuck is he up to!_ I heard inside her mind, she had stopped using occlumency so much since she had gotten pregnant; it was like she didn't need to hide anything from me.

_All i am up to is what i just said, nothing more. I want good workers in the future_

_Get out of my head!_, she replied furiously in her head, i smirked and then turned back to the students.

"I hope this is a good thing for you all, i know it will be for me. For a few of you, your futures will be being a death eater-the most important and highest job anyone can have"

"Talk about brainwashing", i heard her mutter before i grabbed her arm, "what are you doing!", she gasped as i held onto her tight.

"I hope it is understood, that discipline will still be a very important aspect in your school lives, i won't allow any unforgivable of course, but...in the extreme case, i should make it clear I'm not a very merciful wizard, crucio!", Hermione screamed at the top her lungs as i tortured her unexpectedly, she couldn't ignore the pain as i took away her magic just for the moment, this way i could torture her the normal way. The looks on the children's faces was indescribable, of course the older ones were more disgusted than scared. I don't know why i did it, i just believed everyone would think i was losing my touch after announcing my plans to change most things in Hogwarts back to how they were. Once i released the curse, Hermione whimpered as she got her breath back, once i restored her magic to her she was able to stand again.

_There are nicer ways of getting attention, evil the pain you force upon me!_

"That's just a minor warning of the minor things i am capable of, sleep tight", i added with a sly smirk.

"you're so good with kids", Hermione breathed sarcastically so only i could hear as we walked towards the main doors, the students had resumed finishing their dinner, "you will not harm my children"

"_Our_ children", i corrected her, once we were through the doors i stopped and turned back to her "well I'm going now, see you in the morning"

"What?"

"I'm going home, oh sorry, did i forget to mention you have to stay here tonight?", i laughed at her dumbfounded and annoyed expression,

"What the hell!"

"I thought you were supposed to address me as your lord and be polite?"

"Why are you leaving me behind?", she demanded, ignoring me.

"I have something going on and you can't be in the way-"

"Thanks"

"I'd prefer it if you wasn't rude. I trust you can keep yourself out of trouble while you're here, I'll have someone bring you back around lunch tomorrow", i turned to leave

"You can't just leave me here!"

"Yes i can. Seeing as the houses are back to normal, you can decide which common room you wish to stay in"

...

Before i knew it, he had left, and i was alone. Fuck, is this punishment for chatting to Krum? He knows i never wished to be in this castle again, i never wanted to see how it had changed.  
Bet I'm here so he can go and fuck some whore, and I'm supposed to be grateful that i can choose which common room i stay in? Bastard.  
I was scared, what the hell do i do! I noticed a few familiar faces in the hall, Neville, Luna, Lavander, Seamus, Malfoy and his cronies-who couldn't stop smirking at my distressed appearance and a few other random students.

"So nice to see you again", i heard the silkily sly voice come from behind me to face me,

"You know, i will get round to slapping you one more time by the time i leave this place", Draco's expression turned sour as he narrowed his eyes

"Tut,tut. I was only being nice...well we'll see. Anyway, I'm here on the dark lords orders to take you to your chosen common room and give you the password"

"Thanks but no thanks", i started to walk towards the stairs, i had decided to go to the room of requirement and sleep there, i knew i wasn't welcome anywhere else.

"Going so fast? Come on, it's hours before everyone has to be in their rooms and as I'm head boy i get to explore the hallways anytime over night, come on, being in my company will get you out and about more"

"This place...there is too many memories here", i murmured as i carried on but he stopped me with his hand on my arm

"Were going outside, you need some fresh air-being stuck inside for so long isn't good for you", he pulled me back down the stairs and outside. Dusk had given the sky a beautiful red and purple tinge, beautiful.

"Since when are you a doctor?"

"Since i say so"

"Having that mark on your arm doesn't make you a big person", i eyed the dark mark being revealed on his left arm as his robe brushed above it as he pulled me along.

"No, it's what the person is capable of", he replied coldly, i was surprised; he had matured much more than before. "Let's sit by the lake, then no one will disturb us when we talk"

"What do you want to talk about?"

He didn't answer until we were at the lakes edge, roughly where i woke up when Krum rescued me back in the fourth year, i smiled.  
"You don't have to trust me if you don't want to, would be nicer if you did. From day one, when i first knew of your _blood_, i decided to hate you, and in turn you hated me also, so don't get me wrong, talking to you is weird for me"

"What is it that you wanted Draco?", sighed, dipping my foot into the icy water after taking my shoes off,

"I'm not sure, i feel so disgusted with myself! I hate what I've been turned into, a Malfoy"

"You were always a Malfoy"

"I know, but its only what my parents turned me into and plus being a death eater...there are high expectations"

"What did you do which disgusts you so much?"

"I came within about an inch of raping someone, and i hate myself for it. My father of course always told me, 'if the girl doesn't want it, tough". He's such an evil man, i feel cursed to have him as my father"

"What happened?"

"I was with a couple of my father's friends when some young woman passed, i think she was a muggle because of the clothes...anyway; they taunted me to do it, take what i deserved as they put it. It's disgusting, when she screamed they hit her, i got so far as to taking half her clothes off but when i looked into her eyes...i stunned everyone, the death eaters and her. I took her away and left her somewhere safe, but i feel so terrible. I'm not like that", he cried, i could tell how disgusted he really was with his actions-even though he had barely done anything compared to some death eaters.

"I know you're not, but they are. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, once you've stuck up for yourself...things will be better. It's how i survived long"

"Is different for you, he's married and impregnated you-that's not exactly going to happen to me now is it"

"Unless your hiding a big secret", i laughed, "seriously, you didn't do anything, the bastards that do will get what's coming to them. What goes around comes around..."

"Thanks"

"For what?", i asked puzzled

"For understanding, you're the only person i could of spoken to about not wanting to do such...disgusting things. I suppose I'm used to torturing and killing people now, but i feel remorse, unlike the rest"

"That's good then, at least...It's getting dark, and i just know that squid's tentacles are getting closer", i grinned as i noticed the giant squids tentacles wondering across the water's surface, making ripples like waves.

Draco left me when we got back in the castle after telling me the passwords to all common rooms, he wasn't that bad really, but i knew we would always have that mutual feud for a while. Not that that was a bad thing. I climbed up the moving stairs to my chosen destination, it had to be Gryffindor. Where else? Even if they all hated me, i had to see the common room, remember what it was like to be in there...

"Passwo-it's you!", the fat lady exclaimed when she looked up at my face, "I haven't seen you in a while but i have heard some things from the other portraits...why are you back?"

"I'm not telling you so you have new gossip for your portrait friends", i replied blankly

"Fine. But no password, no entry"

"It's a good job i know it then", i smiled, the fat lady was always rude, "the Gryffindor's i expect are celebrating, being one house again instead of being split into pureblood and half-blood etc. It's nice when people are happy...the password is _Panthera leo_, for the lion, the symbol of Gryffindor. Very fitting". The fat lady grumpily sighed as she swung open, and i was only a footstep from returning to a place i basically lived in for 5 years of my schooling life.

I heard music playing and i smiled, as i entered quietly i saw happy faces, happy people. I sighed as i stood watching, i would have done anything to blend in-to avoid any problems, but the fact i wasn't wearing school uniform and...Well me being the dark lords wife and all...

"It's her...", i heard a soft voice i recognised as Lavenders' say, and things went quiet as probably every student in the common room turned to look at me. I never imagined how horrible and guilty i would feel as some of my old friends watched me, i lowered my chin to the ground as i was unsure what to do, maybe coming here was a bad idea.

"Hermione, you're back?", Neville asked with a confused expression across his face as i looked up to see him, he hadn't changed one bit but i could tell he was a more confident person, just from his body language and voice, it wasn't weak anymore. The times had changed alot of people.

"I have been told i have to stay here tonight, i hope that is ok with you all, because if it's not I'll just go to the room of requirement and get a bed for the night, i don't want to intrude...", i muttered sadly.

"You can stay as long as you tell us what has happened since you left-"

"-I didn't leave, i was taken. You want to hear my side of the story? Well i shall tell you..."

Maybe i had a chance after all to keep old friends and not be hated by my ex-peers. That would make things perfect if it happened, well knowing my luck...they allowed me to explain and listened, which was a start i guess. 


	21. Faults

_Run just as fast as I can  
To the middle of nowhere  
To the middle of my frustrated fears  
And I swear you're just like a pill  
Instead of makin me better, you keep makin me ill  
-Pink-Just like a pill_

*

"So now I am just over three months pregnant by the dark lord, and the funny thing is, although I have gone through everything-things most of you could not imagine, the saying 'opposites attract' is very true with me and him. Though I myself was detested with my feelings, so I know what you all think…all I can say is I'm sorry, I just hope you can understand, everything I have told you is the truth-if you want proof get me some truth potion and I'll tell you again", I finished plainly and truthfully, I had no reason to lie and was willing to be forced to tell the truth to prove myself.

"That, I-I don't think that would be necessary", Neville mumbled across from me, where I sat on the floor by the fire, "Hermione, we, well I know most of us at least don't hate you and never have, much…but when you stood up for the slaves, the muggleborns and everyone else when you were, erm, hit with the killing curse, I knew you were still the same person". My crimson eyes instantly brightened as I looked up at him.

"Thank you for…accepting me I guess", was all I could manage; it was all I wanted really, to be happy and that's what I was now, probably completely.

"You don't have to explain anymore, we know everything else. Let's just change the subject…", everyone was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say until Lavender decided to break the tension.

"So Hermione, how did you actually change your appearance like that? I mean, I gave you the tip about the straight hair but it looks so nice, like loose ringlets!", probably the whole room turned to her, "what?"

"Thanks Lavender", I laughed at her girly-ness which still hadn't faded, "it wasn't my doing, the dark lord…edited my appearance you could say. Remember at the time I was his solely for pleasure when I refused to help him in any way, he wanted me to look like this so that's how it is"

"Oh"

"Yeah…thank you, come on, let me talk to you about the good things that have happened to me…", I started my memoir stories until very late, but no one cared, they were just fascinated by me, what had happened to me and what I felt. Most importantly, it was how I managed to fall for the darkest man in history as well as have him fall for me.

When it was time for the Gryffindor's to go to sleep I stayed where I was, not wanting to leave my spot by the warm fire, as I sat alone with the cracking sounds I looked out of the window to see the lightest snowflakes fall…

…

Daylight swam over my body as I stirred, awakened by someone pressed up against my back in bed…bed? Didn't I fall asleep in an armchair? My eyes shot open, but winced as the sun was bright in my eyes, after I adjusted my eyes I turned over to be greeted by the blood red eyes of Voldemort.

"What are you doing-why am I…what the fuck is going on!", gasped as I lay confused, how did I get here?

"I'd prefer that my beauty wouldn't use bad language fall from your lips", he placed a finger on my bottom lip as he said it casually, looking into my eyes and playing with my hair in his other hand. His upper muscular torso was bare for me to see, even before his appearance changed his body was always good, now he had everything a man would want, good looks, nice body and power to name a few.

"Yet you don't mind it if I hurt or kill someone, how confusing…", I saw a smirk spread across his lips while he trailed his finger from my lip to my breast bone, "But I would still like to know why im here and not in the Gryffindor common room"

"I wanted you back, and I didn't see a reason why I had to wait"

"You didn't have to abandon me in the first place"

"Abandon? Hardly. I had something happening here, and you couldn't be in the way, originally I was going to have you stay at Snape's, but you left, so I took you to Hogwarts where you couldn't really leave-even though you can't apparate anyway since I've taken away the ability from you, you can't just walk out anymore, dementors prove a good guard in many places-not just Azkaban"

"Dementors? That's a bit harsh on the students…"

"The dementors won't bring any harm to any student-while they are in the school grounds"

"So what happened here what was so important that I had to be out of the way?", I raised my eyebrow, I knew he was up to something.

"I'll show you", before I knew it I was being picked up in Voldemort's arms like a newborn baby, it was pretty nice but it surprised me all the same.

"Where are you-", I cut off as I realised another door had appeared in the room, next to the bathroom door, I kept my mouth shut as he took me over and in as the door opened itself as we got near. My jaw dropped in amazement.

The room was about the same size as mine and Voldemorts but very bright and cute in pinks and blues, two cots lay next to each other as well as a few pieces of furniture, like changing tables and rocking chairs, many toys lay scatted around the room and of course books. I glanced back up to Voldemorts, who was still holding me, I couldn't stop smiling.

"You had this done?"

"Yes, I thought you would appreciate it and I knew you would like it as a place to be when you want to have a break from me"

"Thank you…milord", I leaned up to kiss his bottom lip

"Don't call me that"

"It's what I've always called you"

"No, I want to hear my name from your lips, no matter how much I detest it-you make it so much sweeter. Everyone else calls me their lord, so I want you to be the special one who doesn't"

"Oh how considerate of you"

"I think so", he sniggered before kissing me deeply and apparating outside without warning, cold air hit my flesh making me shiver but Voldemort (even though I called him Tom, in my head he would always be Voldemort) quickly cast a charm to keep me warm even though all I was wearing was a thin negligee and Voldemort was wearing just boxer shorts, the ground was even covered in snow!

"We could have worn something warm"

"Why when we can be warm as well as able to show off our bodies", he grinned before settling me down on my back while I laughed, the snow was just how it normally felt except it wasn't cold, it felt so nice,

"You are such a big head!

"I said _we_", he smiled as he laid himself next to me, "I like the snow, I don't like it cold though",

"it's a good thing it's not then. I'm surprised, I would have thought you would like the cold"

"Not anymore, not since I got something which made me warm and now I want to always be like it", he placed a hand around my mini-bump and rolled on top of me,

"You act like were a teenage couple", I grinned while he kissed my forehead

"Technically you are a teenager. Although…if you don't like me acting soft with you then maybe you would prefer me to act like I did when we first met?", I shuddered at the memory of him stealing my virginity.

"I like you like this to me, thank you"

"for what"

"For not treating me how I know you can", he looked down at my breasts which had grown, I took advantage of the fact he was distracted and rolled on top of him, straddling his hips.

"I don't think me being in this position would look too good to anyone passing…so feisty you can be", he growled seductively, I wanted to be seduced because he actually made me feel so good!

"I think I should annoy you by not letting you seduce me so easily", I got up happily making him look grumpy which made me laugh,

"Come on-", I hit him with a snowball on his head making me burst out laughing, "that was too far", I stopped laughing but was then hit by a snowball from him right in the face!

"You are so dead!", I grinned.

...

Two weeks after our very childish-but still quite fun moment in the grounds, I was watching Hermione in bed as she slept on New Year's Day morning. Christmas was a quiet affair for the two of us, I wasn't exactly a festive person but I 'celebrated' just to keep her happy, I gave her a silver anklet with an emerald which dangled loosely down her foot, I thought she would like it because it was different. I know I liked it, maybe one day I'll get her some earrings and a bracelet to match her necklace and anklet…she looked like a princess, my lady but still technically my slave-though I wouldn't treat her like one, anymore.  
She was slightly annoyed I took her from Hogwarts without letting her say goodbye to some people, but she soon got over it and turned her attention to just the babies and me. She spent a lot of time in the baby room I had made; she was obsessed with reading up on things just so she everything would be perfect, I beamed as I watched her from afar, our children would be very powerful when they grew…

"Happy new year Tom, my lord", she greeted me with a smile and a kiss

"Happy new year to you as well my lady, I would have wished you so last night but…well we were _busy_", I smirked which made her bite her lip with a grin. "It's a new year-"

"-Which usually means new starts, how about you laying off murdering people?"

"I'll think about it, I wonder how long it will be before I can't have sex with you anymore, you're already big!", I stoked her very obvious baby bump-a habit I had gotten into.

"You only ever think about sex!"

"No I don't, it's just my preferred thing to do after a long day…would you prefer me torture people?"

"I was joking!", she giggled and pushed herself up to lean against the headboard, "it's not a bad life is it"

"it's a great life, I wonder what brought that on though"

"I just think how bad my life was when I first came here, I hated you so much, I even tried to kill myself! I wanted to be free and back at school, things to how they were before-"

"Do you still think that?"

"No-…sometimes I wonder I suppose, how things would be if I wasn't here…forget it, I want to be here and that's all that matters", I watched her suspiciously for a moment before clicking my fingers for a house elf to appear with breakfast. The soppy things wore hats now, made by Hermione-they couldn't be freed by her and well, they had no choice but to accept her gifts, though I knew most liked them, some pretended to not. Hermione still felt sorry for the things, it was her choice as long as it didn't affect me in any way.

"I suggest any thoughts of being somewhere other than here be removed from your head, fantasies of other things can make people want to make them reality, and I promise you, you will never leave me", I growled, she had to know that I was serious.

"You don't have to be aggressive, I'm sorry, I forgot that wasn't that aggressive-when it comes to you", she got up out of the bed without looking at me and stated combing her loose curls with her fingers.

"What is up with you? We have been ok for a couple of weeks and now you want to fight, a fight you know you will lose"

"I don't want a fight, I just wondered what things would be like if I wasn't kidnapped by you back then…I'm sorry, I can't really help it!"

"You would have still ended up here; I would have sensed your magic, seen your beauty and heard your feistiness"

"You like that word a lot. Well, I don't believe that would have happened, anyway…what are you doing today? And lighten up and not mention anything about death"

"I'm teaching you legilmency again, you are gifted at occlumency but I want you able to tell if someone is lying, see what a potential attackers are thinking and most of all, it is a strong skill to have"

"what! You know my last lessons from you ended up like, past memories destroy me and piss you off! I don't need to learn it and you don't need to teach me"

"It's been a while since our lessons", I stopped for a moment to think, "Yes, we're doing them again"

"No! I don't want or need to learn anymore dark magic! And I'm pregnant for Merlin's sake!"

"All the better reason to learn"

"Huh?"

"You want to protect our children, and you know a few people aren't too happy with me…who's the next people they will try to kill once they've tried to do you, or even already have attacked you?"

"I-I…Ok, I'll do it. I hate that you know what to say", she frowned

"I love it, it means control and I know you are used to being under my control by now"

"Of course I am, if I wasn't do you really think I would be sane?"

"Well, you were always strong, you never ever broke as much as I wanted you to back then", I said truthfully, she was very strong willed as well as being awfully powerful, plus back when I first took her I really wanted her spirit broken. It worked on a few occasions, sometimes she was just empty…but when I fell in love, that's when things changed. "Legilmency!"

_I watched as memories filed before my eyes. Her worst memories. Me stealing her virginity, me torturing her on numerous occasions, me once again and again_

"No!", she shouted and forced me out, she lay panting on the floor, obviously using all her strength to get me out, "I have suffered in the past, but you will not make me relive it again! Torture me all you like, I don't care, but don't ever make me remember suffering and being humiliated in the past-legilmency!"

I froze as I felt her delve into my mind, something I've never experience before but I was too shocked to stop it. _I saw memories flash across my eyes, murdering my father, creating my first horcrux as a teenager, torturing hundreds of people, experimenting with the dark arts…then it changed to telling Hermione of her new life, fucking her as tears fell, punishing her for some trivial matter…feeling remorse? That's when I remembered what was happening_  
I forced her out of my head violently, throwing her back a few feet and landing awkwardly and painfully on the sofa, I didn't apologise as she cried out in pain but I flicked my wand to heal any injuries from the impact.

"Get out", I ordered tonelessly

"What?", Hermione said.

"Get out before I force you", I repeated sternly and fiercely, she didn't need telling twice and with a final look over to me she walked out to the hallway.

No one had ever been inside my mind, never had I let it be open for anyone to see, and never had I felt remorse about anything! So why in those memories did I feel guilt? I looked down at myself, I had changed…because of her. It all made sense. I hadn't been so _nice_ before she came along, now I didn't punish as much as I did, I actually helped out those mud blood and muggle slaves by banning magical punishment! Now I feel love…what the fuck has happened to me? No, I know…

*

I didn't mean to actually going to his mind, I was just angry that he had gone into mine and also I didn't expect that I'd actually be able to get in. I wondered sadly along the corridors, not knowing what to do but knowing not to return to the bedroom, I could feel my thigh burning but I ignored it.

"You've done something to me", he growled behind me about an hour later in the great hall, as I sat calmly playing with my wand.

"I'm sorry I hacked into your mind, but you did it to me, it's not fair you can do what you like to me", I replied.

"You will look at me when you talk to me!", he pulled my hair tight as he turned me round to face him, I winced in pain but he didn't let go, "You are _mine_, I'm not yours! You have done something to me because ever since you have been here I have been different and I have been stupid to not realise before!"

"What do you mean!-", my words were cut off by the cruciatus curse as he held my tight, he let go of me after stopping the curse, making me gasp in pain as I dropped to the hard floor as well as still feeling the after effects of the curse. "What the fuck have I done so wrong? You were the one who told me I need to improve my use of legilmency for Merlin's sake!"

"Everything! Because of you I don't have the respect I had, its taken me so long to realise that, you have done _something_…"

"I really did believe you had changed but not because I wanted you to, I think it's because you wanted to but you just didn't realise before I came! This is your problem, you are just an insecure wizard who just wants power and people to bow down to him!", he glared at me furiously before backhanding me. This time making tears fall as I stared at him in disbelief, so much for a new year's start. "I am a fool to love such an evil man", I whispered tearfully, "it's _your_ fault I love you because all my old friends, including Harry hated the fact I love you and now _you_ of all people punish me as well!"

"I never felt love, remorse, sadness or anything like that before!"

"You never felt true happiness either did you", I finished shaking my head, he stopped and stared at me, thinking deeply but his expression was unreadable. "You're just angry with me because you have never had someone so close to you, and it scares you", I realised that's why he always went cold every few weeks or so, he had been alone so long and had worked so hard for people to be afraid of him, he didn't know what to do when I got close to him. "You are a complete bastard you know"

"Maybe…maybe your right"

"What?"

"I'm not scared…maybe just worried, well you are the first person I've ever been so close to I would actually do all I could to make sure your are safe. I forget I must keep you safe from me…I am such a bastard-wa-your bleeding", he stopped his rant at himself which had surprised me so much I didn't realise I had been sliced open from my cheek over my eye to my forehead. I didn't wait for him to heal it; I just placed my pendant onto it and felt the familiar subtle sting as it healed itself. "I've asked you so many times in the past but-"

"I'll think about it", I cut into his question about forgiveness, "come on, milord, I think we should leave legilmency for today…"

"You are an extraordinary witch Hermione…thank you and I probably will hurt you a lot in the future, but I don't mean it"

"You're a powerful wizard, and I understand, you will hurt me again but I might just get my revenge someday but I wouldn't leave you even if I could because you, you are the closest someone has ever been to me, closer than Harry or Ron were ever with me. I guess were on the same sort of level of intelligence…bloody hell, I could write a book about my life you know"

"well it would be a good read darling"

"Don't call me pet names when I'm not happy with you, it's annoying and I may just have to curse you", I threatened, pulling out my wand but we both knew I was joking.

"Oh I don't think so love", he smirked taking out his wand.

And that was how we ended up having a friendly duel for a few hours, and for once, I won…but he let me of course, no one can defeat him. I knew I would forgive him eventually for hurting me, but I couldn't be bothered, I just wanted to be happy, so I smiled and left it.

"Thank you Hermione for not hating me as I know you should, and you know you are the only person I have ever apologised to"

"I'll remember that", I smiled softly 


	22. Black Rose

_Got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.  
I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.  
Oh.  
Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me.  
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.  
No.  
-Natasha bedingfield-Pocketful of sunshine_

_..._

"I am really going to miss it, being pregnant", I mentioned as I sat in Draco's room in Malfoy Manor, I know it seems strange, approximately 29 weeks pregnant and I'm sitting with Malfoy of all people.  
But I had been friends with Draco since we talked by the lake at Hogwarts, he was actually pretty nice when he wasn't in death eater mode and a much better person than his father. I still wasn't on speaking terms with Lucius, he annoyed me and he was just a cruel death eater in the end. Draco was more laid back and quite interesting, he was the cleverest in our year at school, after me, though he didn't brag about it…much.

"Every time I see you your bigger!", he looked down at my seemingly never ending-expanding bump, "but even with that thing in front of you your quite fit"

"Hey!", I pouted while whacking him round the head with a pillow from his massive bed, "But from you, I guess that is a compliment, thank you",

"Nothing wrong with telling a girl she's good looking, I see enough good lookers as a death eater, on my travels when I'm not in school, but most are either thick or just not pureblood"

"There's nothing wrong with not being pureblood!"

"I know that, it's my family who are pressuring me to marry a pureblood girl, I'm only eighteen for fuck sake I'm not interested in marriage, sorry"

"I don't need sympathy for being forced into marriage at a young age, but I'm sorry you are basically being forced to marry a girl you don't actually love"

"I don't need sympathy either"

"Good. So you finish school soon, any plans other than becoming a full time murderer?"

"very funny, actually I have no idea, I believe the dark lord will decide which is the best thing for me to do"

"sounds a bit like him with me but I've decided…once I give birth and the twins are out of the baby stage, I'm going to work"

"huh? Aren't you supposed to serve the dark lord, even if you are in love and married and stuff, you're technically still his slave. I don't think he will be happy about you leaving to get a job"

"you're right, but…well I can't be stuck in this place the rest of my immortal life! I need to use my brains for more than looking up stuff in books, I don't care what the dark lord says, I'm going to work, whether he likes it or not", I finished with a nod.

"You're the only person who could talk to him like that you know. How's weasel-bee?"

"Don't call him that! He's fine actually, he's as happy as he can be oh and he got married last week", I remembered as Draco raised his eyebrows, "you know he was engaged so don't be so surprised. that's why I didn't come round here last week and left it till today, was invited to the wedding, a small one but beautiful none the less"

"I'm surprised he could afford it"

"he's not poor Draco, he's just unlucky with a lot of things…his wife is lovely and I was so happy he invited me along, it was only her family and the twins were there, that's all really"

"yeah, whatever…I think I'm gonna miss you being pregnant as well, you don't lose your temper so easily these days"

"I'm glad we finally get along, fighting with you makes me feel like I'm slapping you in our third year", I reminded him making him go red at the memory. "I haven't seen your father for a while, what's he-"

"-I've been doing just fine slut-slave", Lucius suddenly appeared

"Don't call her that father-"

"-No, he can call me whatever he likes, the dark lord told me his inner circle wouldn't be punished for it, so it doesn't bother me"

"See son, finally the whore is making sense, what are you still doing here by the way? The dark lord requested for your presence", Lucius smirked knowingly.

"Shit", and Draco was gone without another word, leaving the two of us alone.

"So, still knocked up, a shame, I would have like to of seen your lovely body again but I'm not really into baby bumps, though you have a pretty face"

"Fuck off Lucius", I spat as I pushed myself up off of Draco's bed, but before I could stand properly I was being forced into the wall with my arms held tight by Lucius, "Ow! What the hell Malfoy!"

"Don't be rude to me", he breathed in a day dream

"There was a time when I considered you a friend, now would you please remove your hands from me, I have places to be"

"Like where? A mud blood slave such as yourself can't have many places to go", he sneered but released me anyway.

"I am having the twins checked weekly, today is one of those days"

"I don't believe you, I think you just want to be away from me"

"When you grow up, maybe I'll think about considering getting along with you, now if you don't believe me come with me if you must"

He did, just to make sure I wasn't lying, he was truly pathetic sometimes.

"Milord, you wished to see me?", I bowed my head later that night out of respect in front is his inner circle, I only called him milord in front of others and I wasn't exactly able to give a full bow or curtsey. I was reading in the library when I felt the familiar burn on my thigh, I didn't realise his inner circle were even there until I arrived in the room in just a thin black robe.

"I am pleased you arrived so soon", he spoke silkily, he only ever spoke informal when it was just the two of us, "Hermione, there is much to discuss, it has just come to my attention that a secret organisation are at large", I stepped back suddenly and filled with shock, "They name themselves The DA-"

"What?", I gasped, "I mean, I'm sorry milord but I must know!", I quickly realised I was being disrespectful in front of his followers but I just had to know what was going on.

"I admit I was unprepared for this to happen, Draco tells me that the DA were a secret society in Hogwarts, that you yourself was a part of"

"I-I…yes I was part of the DA, there's no point lying about it, you will find out some other way"

"correct. Now, this is the reason I have called you here, you will tell me everything little thing and assist my followers in making sure…no _funny_ business goes on"

"What? No! I'm heavily pregnant, I can't deal with your problems, even if I wasn't pregnant I wouldn't do it anyway, I don't want anything to do with your sadistic ways", I argued making his eyes burn red-well redder than usual.

"You may be pregnant but you are safe and healthy and fully capable of completing a task I set you. As for telling me you will not follow my orders, I can promise you, you will do as I say or feel my wrath", he threatened in a deadly voice, "now step out the circle with my followers". I complied without another word, furious at him telling me I am to assist in the capture and probably punishment of the DA, my old friends. But who could be left in the DA?

"Crucio!", I suddenly heard shouted into the circle at a young man I hadn't noticed brought in, he must have been a muggle as his clothes were rags and Lucius was torturing him, I was too surprised to do anything but before I could say anything it was over. "Milord, I hope you are now satisfied with how I curse with my wand"

"Very well Lucius, I was beginning to think you were losing your touch when I heard you hadn't even touched a muggle in nearly a month. Dispose of the muggle", before Lucius had time to raise his wand, he was pinned to the floor by me on top of him.

"Don't ever kill for. No. Fucking. Reason!", I growled before I was pulled off by Voldemort's magic.

"Enlighten me about your little outburst Hermione"

"it's a sign of a coward, to fight a defenceless person, especially when it's out of cold blood", I said through gritted teeth angrily, the muggle clearly shaken up by the ordeal.

"I will not torture such a heavily pregnant lady such as yourself-even if the babies can't be harmed, but I believe you should be punished, kill the muggle or watch me torture him for hours on end and then kill him"

"I-I can't, you can do that!"

"Oh I can, so what's it going to be? Crucio!", he cursed at the muggle.

"No stop, please, please don't make me do this!", I cried but I knew I had to do it to stop the suffering, I was weak, "Avada kedavra!", I whimpered as he fell down to the floor, as did my knees.

"Good girl, now get some rest"

"I hate what you do to me", I said bitterly before standing myself up and walking past the death eaters to the door, "But you know milord, you may make me murder muggles but you will never make me even inflict a minor curse on the DA", I finished before flicking a crucio curse to the circle, not waiting to hear someone's screams as I left.

...

"Hermione!", I shouted to the empty room as I apparated back into my chambers.

"What! You could have just done the easier thing, and just went straight to the library", she sneered while walking out of the bathroom door and down on the sofa.

"You will not try to humiliate me in future"

"I haven't in the past either; I just acted how anyone would. Why did you have to act like a complete bastard to me in there? You just want to humiliate me! I don't know what you're going on about, saying I'm humiliating you! And also you didn't even tell me about the DA until now!"

"I wasn't trying to humiliate you; I only made you kill someone-it shouldn't be a big deal anymore. I didn't say anything about the DA because Draco told me this morning you were a member, even at the time you were brought here"

"you mean kidnapped", I heard her say quietly, "I have no interest in assisting you in this task, I just want to concentrate on giving birth and then leading a normal life, I want to get a job-and one what doesn't involve harming others!"

"You will do as I say! But I have no problem with this DA, from my knowledge they are just students, but if I have my followers on task to make sure nothing happen. I'm surprised you have so much energy in you, especially after using the killing curse"

"I'm not weak if that's what you are thinking"

"and that's why I love you", I smirked, "but even so, I do not want you using energy when its unneeded, so stop arguing with me and relax"

"I can't relax now I know my old friends may be in danger, please promise me you won't hurt them"

"I'm sorry I can't-"

"well then don't kill them! Please, if you need to hurt them can you just do it when necessary? Please", she pleaded

"fine", her eyes lightened up, "now stop being moody, though I did like your cruciatus curse when you left, it stayed on Avery even after you went, it only stopped after a minute or so. That is excellent magic"

"Wow, I can hurt people without having to be there!", she said happily but in a very sarcastic way, "give me a break, since the day I came here you've wanted me to fall in love with the dark arts, can't you see if it hasn't happened yet then it will never happen _ever_!"

"we shall see, remember you were only here because I wanted you to work for me, using your skills in this so called dark magic you always talk about, now I want you for just you, it would just be nicer if you were interested in what I was interested in"

"Oh stop annoying me! I'm enjoying being pregnant, but I hate you keep ruining it!", I decided not to say anything more, she had a lot of mood swings and I had gotten used to it, I couldn't punish her for doing something she can't help.

"I apologise then, look I have left my followers to be here, they are having some sort of party, I don't particularly care about"

"a party? How random"

"yes, I think the excuse is someone got married on the weekend"

"oh right…"

"So how was this morning with Draco? He told me he left you with his father, he wasn't too happy today"

"Erm it was nice, he made me some breakfast and I helped him do some work for school, then we just talked for a while"

"Good, but I don't want you two getting too close-"

"Oh stop thinking I'm going to fall in love with every man who gets close to me! I don't lust for others, unlike some people…"

"What do you mean by that?"

"It doesn't matter"

"Hermione, I can promise you I haven't slept with another woman since last year when Draco and Narcissa were here, I couldn't do that to you", I sympathised truthfully, I really didn't want to hurt her in that way.

"I know you're telling the truth, I'm sorry for accusing you of anything",

"Don't apologise. You know I was thinking of giving you the dark mark-"

"you what! I'm no death eater and I already have one scarred around my thigh!", she said furiously

"I know you're not a death eater and you have a mark around your thigh, but that mark shows you belong to me and that you are a servant to the 'dark arts'"

"excuse me? Shows who I belong to? I belong to no one!"

"Actually you do, even though we are married and I love you-a feeling I never knew existed really until I met you, you are still owned by me"

"oh fantastic, I'm still nothing more that property-I might as well be a plant pot", she lowered her eyelids, blood red with anger

"you know you're more than that. I was thinking of giving you the dark mark because, well it would be something you wanted if you did, your thigh mark was forced onto you as well as your wedding ring"

"I love my wedding ring and I'm proud to be your wife", she smiled finally, "and I suppose…well I'm not as ashamed of my mark as I say", she admitted making me raise an eyebrow, "I'm telling the truth!"

"I know you are, it just surprised me, thank you. You don't have to get the dark mark, I just thought you might be interested in getting one-I won't give it to you like my other death eaters because it won't have the same properties such as burning when I need you, your thigh already does that. It will be more like a normal tattoo"

"so if my ring symbolises who I love, my thigh symbolises who I belong to, then my arm will represent who is my lord", she announced, surprising me even further, "ok, I'll do it"

"Seriously?"

"I'm going to regret it later, but yes, seriously", she came over and kissed me deeply,

"After I was horrible to you downstairs and made you murder someone, you really wish to do something like that for me?"

"well…I will only do it on two conditions: one, you keep to your word that you will not kill or harm any of the DA unless it's completely and 100% necessary and two, you don't pressurise me to do anything I don't want to do, I'm not a possession-no matter what you, your followers or anyone else says! Is that a deal?", she raised her hand, waiting for me to shake it.

"You drive a hard bargain darling-"

"-and stop calling me them sort of names! It really doesn't suit you"

"The agreement mentioned nothing about calling you anything so I'm sorry, but", I shook her hand with a smirk, "we've already made our deal pet"

"Fine, you play a fair game milord-oh!", she stopped suddenly and sat down with her hand on her ever-growing bump

"what is it?", she didn't reply but took my hand and placed it on her bump with her own and I could feel it

"can you feel them? I love it when I feel them kicking or doing whatever they do, I know they are there!", she beamed, "If they are fighting inside, I dread to think what they will be like when they are older"

"There not fighting, just playing, and even if they are fighting-we know they aren't going to be wimpy", I muttered making her laugh,

"They will be neither vicious nor wimpy", she corrected me in her own way, "so how comes I get two marks and you have none?"

"You are choosing to have the second and I don't have any because I don't need any"

"how about you get a tattoo thing for me?", she joked with a laugh before laying down to fall asleep with her head on my lap.

Maybe that's how I can prove I really do care for her and not myself, she hasn't mention it but I know she thinks it. I've taught her a lot lately, especially involving legilmency and occlumency but she couldn't resist against me, she is brilliant though at what she does. I love everything about her, her smile, her eyes when they are angry, her fierceness as well as her peacefulness, her intelligence and power, just her. Pregnancy just makes her more beautiful than she is.

Why am I such a bastard to her? I regretted mentioning the dark mark as soon as I said it but when she agreed and surprised me, I was happy.

After about an hour of just sitting, going over my thoughts and stroking her hair I made a decision. I lifted my left arm and placed the tip of my wand on the inner side, with one last look down at Hermione I said the charm in my head, bringing excruciating pain but I wouldn't budge.  
I watched as my blood rose to the surface and began to form a shape similar to the dark mark, I never realised how it hurt, but pain didn't affect me and it didn't actually hurt me but because I rarely felt pain-the cruciatus being one which didn't affect me, it was quite a surprise I could feel a slight burn.

A black rose burned up my arm to my elbow, entwined with a snake very similar to the one on my followers, I marvelled at my work and in disbelief that I had actually marked myself for a woman, she was more than a woman and if scarring myself will prove to her she means more to me than she thinks…well I'm glad I did it.

"Hermione…", I whispered in her ear making her stir, "wake up love"

"I thought I told you not to give me pet names"

"I thought I told you we had already made a deal, I'm joking, I'm only doing it to annoy you"

"I can tell", she pouted and sat up with a yawn, "oh, how long was asleep? You haven't moved since I lay my head on your lap!"

"Only about an hour"

"oh sorry", she apologised

"don't apologise, I like to just be with you. Well, onto important matters, I wanted to show you something"

"what is it-oh", she stopped as I showed her my new 'tattoo' under my robe; "you did this? Why?"

"Because you told me the meanings for all the symbols on you, now I'm going to tell you that the mark here on my arm shows my love for the most beautiful, intelligent and caring woman I have ever known, and how much…-I'm not really the romantic type"

"oh you ruined it", she giggled, "I wouldn't have thought the darkest wizard in history could be romantic but you can, thank you. So let's get on with my arm", she said boldly and suddenly. 

She forgives me so easily and accepts my beliefs.

Life is just how it should be, i think. 


	23. Hogsmead

_There's something sweet  
And almost kind  
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined  
And now he's dear  
And so I'm sure  
I wonder why I didn't see it there before  
-Something there-Beauty and the Beast_

_..._

"Oh Hermione, I can't believe it!", Narcissa gasped as I showed her my new mark along my arm-identical to Voldemort's, for the last couple of months she had been helping with my pregnancy and we had become quite good friends-or as close as.  
It burned like hell as Voldemort created the beautiful mark up the lower part of my arm, and it was special because I wasn't forced to have it and also Voldemort gave himself the same one, we were connected once again.

"I love it! At first I was a bit mad that he was even thinking of giving me the dark mark but this is such a wonderful piece of art!"

"The dark lord is quite the artiste then-oh don't tell him I said that, he'd probably kill me"

"I won't and I guess you're right, he is quite artistic, I never thought I would have such a mark on me though! Im surprised it isn't annoying me already"

"Lucius's dark mark annoyed me, it always reminded me he was a death eater when we were in the bedroom, then Draco got one and I was heartbroken to think my son would become a murderer like his father…"

"The dark lord offered for you to have one as well though, but when you rejected it he was ok with it, the dark lord has always liked you Narcissa, you're not weak"

"Well I'm still here aren't I", she smiled but said it bitterly, stroking her long blonde hair away from her face, "it doesn't bother me about the past now though, I'm happy with Severus-Lucius hates it seeing as they are quite good friends, but they've put their differences aside"

"That's good then, and Draco is growing up and I know he will make the right decisions"

"Thank you Hermione, this time a few years ago I would never have taken advice from someone who was my sons age or-sorry for using the word, a mudblood. I know you hate the word as do I really but it's what I thought back then"

"It's ok; we all have our own demons. It's strange, last night he was horrible to me in front of his followers and then I agreed to get this mark"

"Maybe just subconsciously you know you want to make him happy as does he for you, you are married to a very dark wizard-he doesn't mean to hurt you when he does I'm sure, but just remember he is the dark lord-he has to be harsh and cruel at times"

"I know that, I hope I made him happy by getting this, I was shocked that he gave himself one-I still am!"

"He loves you so much", she smiled, "so how's the twins doing? Only about two months to go!"

"I know! It's gone so quick, I'm thinking soon I'm going to be a mother of two and I'm still a bloody teenager!"

"It's ok, I had Draco when I was 25, his father was very keen to have a pureblood son-sometimes I believes that's the only reason he married me…it doesn't bother me, everything's turned out fine"

"Good for you, you deserve it. I'm so bored being stuck inside though, the dark lord has made me stay inside for the last month as too avoid 'any potential dangers' as he puts it, I mean what dangers out there in the fresh air! But I know he's going to make me do that work to bring down the DA, I'm not doing anything that will harm anyone!"

"Don't worry about it-"

"-Exactly Hermione, why don't you listen to Narcissa? she's speaking sense", Voldemort surprised the life out of me by appearing from nowhere caressing my bump

"I should be leaving-"

"Don't leave on my account"

"No, I have to be going anyway milord, you've just reminded me, if you hadn't of came I probably would have ended up missing my appointment with one of Draco's teachers"

"Very well, make sure he doesn't get into too much trivial trouble, he must keep his mind on important things"

"of course milord, goodbye Hermione", she bowed and apparate away

"You scared her off!", I stuttered

"I tend to do that without meaning to…anyway, why I'm here, I was wondering if you had changed your mind about finding out the babies sexes?"

"No! I don't want to know until I give birth! If you want to know you can check me out and just not tell me"

"No, I want to know at the same time as you"

"Thanks, that's nice of you"

"but it's annoying because I can't know something I know I am able to know!", he groaned

"I like being the one who frustrates you for a change instead of you frustrating me", I joked, "You want to have sex don't you?"

"how the hell did you know that!", he asked surprised moving his hand away from where it was heading

"I promise I will give you the night of your life after I've given birth, to make up for the last few weeks…", I promised, we hadn't been that lively in the bedroom department because I wasn't in the mood really and when we did the baby bump was just in the way so it was awkward.

"I'll hold you to that promise, but thank you", he declared while combing my hair with his fingers, it was waist length so he just stayed at the top of my head which felt nice, "as long as I have two healthy children I will be happy, I want boys though"

"why?"

"so they can assist me in my work, girls are more likely to be like you…but either way they will be beautiful as well as powerful"

"No plans for an heir then?"

"I will never need an heir, I can't die-"

"You can die of old age"

"No I can't, an neither can you, we are immortal through very dark and complicated magic, so you better not annoy me too much or I might just have to kill you off"

"What if I want to die someday? I don't wish to live like this for eternity!", I moaned angrily, "Thanks for this curse"

"Maybe someday, I may change my mind…it's unlikely seeing as I will most likely go to hell in death, I would rather be here with you"

"Stop trying to make bad things sweet!", I couldn't help but smile, he was a smooth talker, "I'm changing the subject now, it's depressing talking about death…what is happening with the DA? Please tell me"

"Nothing important, they aren't a big concern of mine but they are higher in importance because some were friends of yours, I don't know if they wish to involve you in whatever plans they may have"

"The DA was just a group of us who wanted to learn defence against the dark arts, we never conspired or made any plans how to defeat you in anyway, it was purely defence"

"Well they have developed since then, the members are not just students, there are some ex-order members and a few others"

"So many people against you, but you have to realise not everyone agrees with what you do-me being one of them"

"I could torture you for that, but I won't because I don't agree with torturing someone so heavily pregnant"

"Thanks, I appreciate it", I murmured sarcastically, "You've only got another 2 months to control yourself"

"I think I'll manage it fine. I wouldn't hurt you-only in the extreme case or if it's accidental"

"Well I manage to not hurt you by accident, I think you could do that too. Now, were going off the point, I don't believe you, something has happened, you're all shifty"

"Ok, I can't be bothered to pretend…its nothing major I have just found out that the Weasley boy who just got married is joint leader with the Longbottom Gryffindor, that's all I know but it's not a big deal"

"How is that possible? I only saw Ron last week…You're right though, it doesn't matter, until a crime is committed you can't do anything to them! Please? You promised"

"I didn't say anything about hurting them-you over react before you know what's going on. They are the leaders from what I know and Weasley left a tracker in your robe pocket-"

"what?", I cut in confused as he pulled out a black, button-sized object with a red luminous dot on it, "that is a tracker?"

"yes, they are not often used in the wizard world and are usually only used by the ministry if needed to find places…he must have slipped it into your pocket without you noticing, now they know our location, from about an hour ago we are no longer hidden from the world-there is no point hiding if they know where we are, roughly, and I am the dark lord so I have no reason to hide anymore"

"if you say so, so Ron probably doesn't really like me that much, he just wanted to use me to find out things…no, he isn't like that, it was just this one thing he has done and that is it!", I assured myself aloud.

"You have too much belief in people, just believe in yourself and trust me-that is all you need"

"yeah whatever! So why aren't you angry with me? Seeing as you wanted me to assist you against the DA and according to you I have accidentally assisted them-"

"It doesn't matter, the place is guarded in more ways than you could imagine, you are safe I just originally thought it better for this place to be hidden"

"I feel like a fool", I sighed

"You're not, just don't trust those who don't deserve it. The Weasley boy was clever in placing this tracking dot on you, but it didn't make much of a difference, he didn't gain anything and neither did the DA out of it"

"Still! I can't believe he would put a tracker on me!"

"Forget about it, I want you to enjoy the sun while its out and be happy while you're pregnant"

...

I sat against the trunk of the willow tree by the river with Hermione reading as she lay with her head on my lap, I gave her a potion from Snape so that the bump wouldn't make her uncomfortable and so she could do normal things-but she would still feel pregnant because she wanted to feel it. The sun was out, but the leaves of the tree gave scattered shade across us, it was nice just to be here with Hermione, relaxing and away from being the dark lord for just a moment.

"What does this mean? 'The Chamber Of Secrets will only open for those worthy to serve Salazar himself'?", she read aloud from her volume on the history of Slytherin-I beamed as she chose the book form the library to read, I felt proud she wanted to know about my heritage.

"Basically be able to speak parseltongue as only those of his blood line can speak it-unless of course evidently some abnormal magic happens as with the case of Potter and yourself"

"abnormal? Such a nice word"

"you know what I mean, I haven't been down to that chamber in a while…properly I mean, I 'popped' down there a few months ago to see if anyone had found it"

"you do know Tom Riddle-well you, opened it when I was in my second year?"

"Yes, Lucius paid dearly for it as well…maybe me and you can adventure down there someday, it is when I first used dark magic properly"

"what sweet childhood stories you tell", she muttered sarcastically.

"I wasn't that bad-"

"-compared to now", she raised an eyebrow as laid down her book and look up at me,

"you are correct but I wasn't going to say that. I wasn't as bad as you think I was, I was a prefect and head boy, I even won an award for special services to the school!"

"don't give me all that, you set it all up so your crime would appear as Hagrids and then you even worked out how to make it look like you were the good guy stopping the crime!"

"ah, you have me sussed, I didn't know you knew"

"There is a lot you don't know about me, but I suppose you earned becoming a head boy yourself"

"of course I did! I excelled at everything…why don't you tell me about yourself? I don't hear much of your past yet you are so keen to hear of mine"

"Yours is more interesting. Well, I am muggle born to dentists, I've always been clever you could say and I found out I was a witch when I was just leaving primary school"

"is that it? You are quite boring", I joked which made her roll here eyes

"well you're not _that_ interesting, you just found big magic at a young age"

"if you say so. Well I'll tell you more about me then if you don't want to share"

"what is this circle time or something?"

"I haven't done 'circle time' since I was about 10...well I realised I was a wizard long before Dumbledore told me, I could do some remarkable things…I just knew I was special and I'm not being big headed like you are thinking", I added while hearing her scowl as she tried to close her mind, but she gave up with a sigh. "Good. Now where was I? oh yes…you know a lot already, I've seen you 'research' me, I graduated school in 1945-"

"whoa…that was quite some time ago, over 60 years…you must be…in your eighties?",

"You make me sound ancient when you say that!"

"Sorry...it's just weird", she got up and walked over to put her feet in the stream, "our age gap…I guess I never realised or noticed before…"

"What's the problem? I'm technically in my early eighties I think…well I don't celebrate birthdays…anyway, it only means ive had eighty years of experience but I'm only in my late twenties, early thirties"

"Even that is an age gap really! Oh, I feel weird now, not being horrible-but how the hell did I fall for you! You are the dark lord, you kill people, you're are 60 years older than me, you look over 10 years older than me, you used to look…look so evil…you _are_ evil-"

"thanks for the criticism"

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that"

"I know, but I think you fell for me because I'm intelligent, powerful, I care for you, I've kept you safe and given you everything you need and almost everything you want. I know you"

"You think you know me, but you are right, I'm attracted to all those things about you, could we just change the subject now?"

"Fine, what do you wish to do before I go to the ministry?"

"I don't know, I've been bored for ages! There is nothing to do here, its' all dark art this, dark magic that, torture someone over there, murder someone over here…", she moaned, "And I know I shouldn't be 'ungrateful' but I'm dead in my head, I need something to do! I know everything about babies, I've looked at everything and Narcissa has told me everything she knows, so yeah, everything"

"Take a break from babies then, let's go out"

"Out?"

"Anywhere you wish to go, come on, as soon as you tell me we can go, I've got my own tracker on you so you can't go missing"

"Eurgh why do people keep tracking me! But-thank you, you want to go out with me somewhere?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to, so where are we going?", I asked nicely, brushing the hair out of her eyes, waiting for a reply as she thought.

"Hogsmeade?", I didn't even bother to reply but took her arm and apparate us there.

"Bloody hell, could have warned me!", she gasped as she almost lost her balance, she turned round and smiled, "wow"

"The Hogwarts students can come here today, it's their day off…"  
It was nearly summer so no snow was visible in the usually snow covered village, I landed us in an alley next to The Three Broomsticks, it was quite a bad view of the place from where we were but Hermione just seemed happy to be 'back'.  
I noticed her see a couple of Hogwarts students chat as they walked past the alley, not even noticing us.

"I'm scared"

"what? You're with me!"

"No, it's not that…everyone knows of me, especially you-but for me it's more personal, those people actually know me, some of the students I've been friends with or spoken to, or sat next to in a lesson-"

"calm down or I will have to silence you!''

"Ok", she replied simply and didn't wait for me to continue, she walked boldly with her head held high out into the quite busy street-mainly because it was the students chance to visit. "Aren't you coming then? I haven't got all day", she asked with her hand on her hip when I didn't follow, I smirked at this side of her and walked to her side.

"You know you are just drawing attention to yourself"

"It's not my problem if they want to stare"

"Good. Now come for a drink, you look like you need it", I took her hand and pulled her along to The Three Broomsticks-not my first choice but I knew she liked it, she did her best to ignore people looking at her and kept switching between trying to show she didn't care to looking worried people thought bad of her.  
The pub went silent when I entered with my pregnant wife, there were mainly students but a few other creatures were lurking about as well, "Madam Roserta, have you got a table for me and my lady?"

"O-of course milord, right over here", she led us over to the only free table in the place, distant from everyone but in full view as well, "I'm s-sorry milord, it's the only table-"

"Never mind, this will do. I would like a butterbeer and a fire whiskey for the two of us, I trust that is available?"

"Oh of course! It's our biggest selling-never mind", she cut off when she realised she was babbling and hurried off to get our drinks.

"You can be so nasty sometimes"

"I can be, but I don't believe I have been today", I said truthfully but she still rolled her eyes. "You're acting differently, like you don't care what's going on around you, like you don't give a fuck what people are thinking-but the thing is, I _know_ what you are thinking and its completely the opposite"

"Whatever you say…can we just be peaceful while we are here?", she sighed as she took a sip from her drink which had just arrived.

"Only if I am given no reason to not be peaceful…them students in the corner over there keep looking at you-"

"Everyone's bloody looking at me! I'm a freak! And it's the first time I've been publicly seen so pregnant! I wish I didn't come now"

"You want to be here, now don't tell me otherwise. Those students who keep watching you, I believe they are your age, I recognise a few of them-Longbottom I believe is there", that got her attention, she spun round, froze and turned back to look at me with wide eyes.

"Them lot are my friends!"

"_Were_"

"No, _are_", she said stubbornly, and as if to annoy me on purpose she stood up with a smirk on her face as she saw me look on in surprise as she walked over to them. The girl was confusing sometimes; luckily for me I could see full view of where she was and who she would speak to. I had called Snape by his dark mark to meet me here, so it would give us a chance to talk alone.

*

"Erm, hi", I said simply with a smile, glad to be able to ignore the rest of the pub and be able to focus on the DA in front of me, "you learnt then, you are less likely to be over hear in a busy place", I recalled the day I organised the first ever DA meeting.

"Hermione, we haven't seen you in so long!", Lavender clapped in happiness-it seemed as if they were ok with me, or it was probably just the illusion, "and look at that belly of yours!"

"Yeah, well I've got two months before I don't have to toddle anymore, being pregnant makes me walk funny", I joked, "the DA is in full swing then"

"what do you mean?", Neville spoke up finally, he wasn't the shy and accidental boy he was when I was at school-not so much I guess, "we gave up on the DA ages ago"

"I'd prefer if you didn't lie to me, I know if you are"

"Legilmency"

"I suggest you practise occlumency-it will defend you against some people…but it wouldn't make a difference if your mind is attacked by the dark lord, trust me", I said seriously, "look I want to get along with you all, be friends even like we acted when I was at Hogwarts…I know about the DA and I have convince the dark lord not to harm any of you, though I can't stop him doing anything if he wants to seriously, please just don't do anything stupid. I've been through a lot of pain and I don't want you to all feel the same"

"You expect us to quit the DA!"

"No, of course not! I'm merely suggesting don't piss off the dark lord unless you know how to really defend yourself, that tracker in my pocket is just an example of what can piss him off…lucky for Ron, I stood up for him"

"You are so different Hermione, I think being pregnant with the dark lords child has affected you", Neville said boldly to me as I stood in front of the group of students with my hands on my bump. "If you just want to start trouble I think its best you go back to your lord"

"You're wrong, I'm not different, I'm just not stupid! Bloody hell you lot, I just came over to say hi as I haven't been outside for months properly! I thought it would be nice to see some old friends, obviously I will be going-"

"-Back to your master"

"he is not my master, he might have been in the past but that is over now", my temper was starting to raise-I didn't like being referred to as a slave, "I was actually worried about being here-I was scared everyone would look at me and think 'hey look, it's the girl who betrayed everyone', I'm not that girl. Now are you all going to be just ok with me or am I just wasting my time coming over?", I watched carefully as I saw him think for a moment and turn to the rest of the DA's blank faces.

"We haven't got a problem with you Hermione, come on just sit down with us, is the dark lord ok with that?", Lavender asked brightly but worriedly at the same time, I saw her eyes flicker behind me in his direction. No wonder, everyone in the room I was in was scared of him, it must seem odd for them to see the dark lord just wonder into such a casual place.

"Yes, you guys I just want to warn you to be careful, you don't realise how dark things can get-", I cut off as I turned to see Snape sitting where I was before, talking to Voldemort over drinks-as if they were mates in a pub. If it wasn't for the dark looks on the face, it would be very strange.

"Hermione?"

"Er-sorry, yes, what were we talking about?"

"It doesn't matter, are you ok anyway?" Lavender asked

"Yes of course I am, I'm so close to being a mother! Nothing can dampen my spirits-well not much"

"They are twins aren't they? I read it in the Prophet, you was originally going to keep that secret but the dark lord announced it in the end…so you know if they are girls or boys yet?"

"Nope, I want it to be a surprise for the day I gave birth"

"Good thinking, I guess it's more fun that way", she smiled, "take your robe off Hermione, It's baking in here!", she said as I realised how hot it actually was inside, especially being surrounded by so many students made the room more stuffy. "Let me help you with that, and you can even check all your pockets, I'm not slipping anything in any"

"Thanks"

"No prob-", she cut off abruptly

"What's wrong?"

"Erm…I-er"

"what?"

"What the hell!", Neville cried in surprise

"What!"

"You have a new dark mark!", suddenly the whole pub went quiet as Neville spoke louder than he meant to, next thing dozens of eyes were on me. "How, what, why…"

"It's not a big deal, I am not and will never be a death eater, this is just something personal of mine", I tried to explain with my hand over it, I didn't want to be ashamed of it though.

"Well it's clear you're a loyal follower!"

"No it's not…oh fuck it, I'm not explaining myself anymore to you lot! I keep trying to prove I'm not dark or evil but no one ever believes me! I don't see why I bother anymore!", I shouted as I stood angrily, they knew how to piss me off.  
"I just wanted to make sure you were all ok and to warn you not to do anything stupid, I want you to be safe but all I get is grief!", I snatched my robe from Lavender and stormed out of the pub.

I was alone.  
A tear fell down my cheek as I realised how alone I really was.

"Hermione!", Neville called behind me, "Hermione, look im' sorry, we all are, it's just hard to trust you"

"I know, I learnt that ages ago"

"I'm really sorry, it just made me angry seeing such a dark mark burned into your skin, you were a good friend to me at school when others didn't want to be. Since I took over control of the DA I have gained so much confidence and people like me now! But I will always remember you as one of the few who liked me or helped me before"

"At least I know I had some good impact on your life"

"You have, thank you", he gave me a hug while I wiped away my tears, "the DA won't do anything stupid, we know there is no way of defeating the dark lord, but our aim is to keep every member safe from being attacked, abused or killed. Some of the DA are at a high risk of being slaves when they come of age and some are more than likely going to be targeted for an attack…I just want everyone safe"

"you are brilliant Neville-"

"-I'm not, but thank you. To make it up to you, I'm going to buy you some stuff from Honeydukes and then maybe you could tell me about your dark mark-only if you want to"

Possibly three or four hours later I was sitting under the willow tree in the grounds and couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

"What are you so happy about?", Voldemort asked grumpily

"I'm just happy, everything seems to be ok…what's wrong with you? I haven't seen you properly since we were in the pub"

"Just Snape…he's just brought me some unfortunate news…"

"What is it?"

"nah, I'll tell you some over time", he didn't even wait for me to argue before he disaparated away.

"Are you sure Severus?"

"Positive milord..." 


	24. Darkness Begins

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
But that's alright, because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there, and hear me cry  
But that's alright, because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie-Eminem ft Rihanna _

_..._

"What is wrong? You have been off ever since we've been back from Hogwarts", she asked gently while sucking on a lollipop from Honeydukes, "come on, you promised me you would tell me"

"No I didn't, I said I'd tell you some other time, meaning I will tell you when I want to"

"Please, something's wrong, I know it! Don't leave me in the dark like this…you can't leave a pregnant woman worried!", she joked the last part with a smile but she was still concerned. I looked into her reddish eyes and thought about it, I had to tell her some time.

"Ok, fine…it's not major because it hasn't happened yet"

"What do you mean?", she said confused.

"Snape was told of a prophecy today by one of the teachers of Hogwarts-"

"_Overheard_ I assume, like before which ended with many dying and you losing your body-"

"-shut up and listen", I growled making her pout angrily. "The prophecy states that…well, I don't need to repeat it but I shall tell you what it means. It says that the sorceress belonging to the dark lord-meaning you-"

"-Excuse me? I do not belong to you and since when am I a sorceress"

"You technically belong to me and you have the abilities of a sorceress, you are one you just don't use that magic to an advantage. My ancestor, who was one of the four who put part of their magic into a future generation, the witch was you as you know. But you also know he didn't believe it fitting for a muggleborn to have this power, he did not know until afterwards that a muggleborn would be the one who gains the abilities but it was too late by then. He wanted revenge"

"How comes you didn't tell me this before?"

"Because the prophecy mentioned something about it and until Snape researched it I had no idea what my ancestor had planned. According to the prophecy my ancestor's plans will be carried out after a certain number of days. Tomorrow at midnight"

"What's going to happen?", she asked worriedly

"My ancestor wanted the muggleborn to use their magic for his advantage"

"So possess me like the diary took over Ginny's mind. It can't be that bad, I mean Slytherin is your ancestor, you want the same things as him so basically I will be under your control", she sighed.

"No, we both want the same things but this curse-you could call it…you might end up trying to kill as many people as you can, I don't know…and I do not want that. I want order, whilst my ancestor wanted massacre"

"You mean…I might end up as some raving lunatic! Can't you stop this!"

"You need to prove you are a Slytherin"

"What?"

"You need to show Salazar-"

"He's dead"

"You know what I mean! You need to prove you are capable of holding his power, that way you won't be controlled for life by ancient magic that will force you to do things…"

"Since when are you against your ancestor!",

"I'm not, he was a brilliant wizard. I just don't want my wife to be like him, that is all"

"A bit of competition do you think", she teased to try and break the tension, "so what must I do?"

"This isn't a laughing matter-"

"-Hold on. You knew about this before we even went to Hogsmeade didn't you…then you met Snape in the pub…that's the real reason we went out wasn't it! Oh thanks a fucking bunch!"

"Don't talk to me like that", I said tonelessly, anyone else who would talk to me in that way would be dead by now.

"Then don't treat me like I'm an idiot! You knew and you left it until now to tell me! Something that directly involves me! Now tell me what I have to do to stop myself being possessed by darkness himself", she demanded angrily. What I had learnt was not to mess with a pregnant wife of yours who is fully able to kill.

"Shut up and I will tell you! You are going to go to the chamber of secrets with your basilisk infected blood and we will see from there"

"What is going to the chamber of secrets going to do? You have no idea how to get me out of this do you!", she jumped up and stormed out, leaving me knowing full well she was right. I had only one option.

...

"Argh!", I shouted while blowing up a small tree in the garden-something I didn't mean to do and I actually had to look down at myself to see if it was me who did it. "Fuck fuck fuck fucking hell!"

I sat myself on the river edge while holding my ever-growing baby bump and cried.  
"What do I do! I'm going to end up serving yet another member of the Slytherin family!"

"Calm the fuck down and stop swearing!", Snape appeared from nowhere making me jump

"Then don't swear either and I'm not even swearing!", I argued back

"So the dark lord told you I take"

"Of course"

"It will be ok Hermione, the dark lord is just worried you will end up turning against him, everything else should be fine"

"fine? I'm going to end up being possessed by some ancient curse set by Slytherin himself, tell me, would you be fine?"

"Hermione, you are going to the Chamber of Secrets in the morning. The prophecy states that the _sorceress with the power of four, the victim of the king of snakes, can only be saved by the darkness itself-_"

"What does that mean!"

"It refers to you of course, and means you can only be saved from the darkness by committing a dark deed"

"Huh?"

"The curse is going to kill you Hermione, you may have the protection from the dark lord which made you immortal but Slytherin was the one who invented the 'slave spell' the dark lord put on you. Slytherin had a seer who predicted many things for him, he may have believed the future dark lord would want the same things as him but would be distracted from the muggleborn who had all the magic. This was his way of stopping this happen…"

"How do you know all this?"

"The dark lord is a direct descendent, he knows. Salazar Slytherin knew who would be the muggleborn who gained the gift of the magic, he knew it was you, of course he had no idea what time period you live in, but to make sure…he plotted revenge on the three other founders of Hogwarts for choosing a muggleborn"

"So the dark lord left the bit out about me dying, he said I was going to turn a bit evil"

"You could say that. You are going to have an overload of 'dark' energy, you will become exactly what the dark lord always wanted"

"I don't believe you, you know too much"

"I've done my research, I've heard the prophecy and I've seen what the dark lord wants"

"I'm going to be the dark lords pride and joy"

"You will be, but the complication is that he does love you and the curse will kill you, it's even more complicated as you are pregnant…"

"Oh", I shuddered as I remembered I was pregnant, "If I die, so will they"

"Probably, so you can't die, the dark lord won't allow the only woman he has ever loved to die with his children", Snape assured me whilst not looking at me, he was sitting next to me and held my hand. "I'm sorry Hermione, the dark lord has already decided what you are going to do and I-as does he, know you won't like it. I apologise that you didn't know earlier, but neither did anyone else, it is regrettable what is at stake…"

"So what is the dark lord's plan to keep me alive-wait, there's only one way to stop death isn't there…"

"Yes-", I didn't let him finish before I apparated away.

A few hours later.

I went into the bedroom in search of him, the only other place I knew he might be was the great hall. I dashed down, losing a shoe half way down and without thinking; I barged in to see Voldemorts as he began a small meeting with a few deatheaters including Malfoy senior and junior.

"milord i need to speak with you urgently", my voice was stopped as Voldemort cast a silencing charm, he looked angry but he was nowhere near as angry as I was.

"You dare interrupts me when I am about to begin a private meeting?", he said seriously but I just annoyed with a look of murder on my face. "You will feel my wrath some other way after this…go back to the room, unless you would prefer the dungeons?", he was cold and his eyes were burning. I knew it was just a front so he didn't look weak over his wife in front of a few of his followers, but it still pissed me off.

_You have pissed me off so much my lord_ I growled in my head knowing he could hear before storming out.  
The nerve on him being rude to me like that! I only had to tell him something important, yet he cared more for how he looked in front of his followers.

I groaned as I realised how harsh a problem I had, closing my eyes as I wiped away a tear, I didn't notice my shoe still left on the stairs.  
I slipped. I fell. I didn't see the impact.


	25. Horcruxes

_The path that I'm walking  
I must go alone  
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown  
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they  
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay  
-Fergie-Big girls don't cry_

"Help her, or I shall kill you all without mercy!" I growled as I watched helplessly as a team of healers worked to help her, she had just fallen down the stairs but she didn't wake up. It reminded me of the time she was stabbed by Potter and when she tried to kill herself over the balcony, the worst days of my life.

"Milord we don't know what's wrong with her! She should just be a bit unconscious by the fall…it doesn't make sense"

"well make it make sense!", I shouted, "I want my wife healthy and well, as well as my children! Find out what wrong and sort it out!"

"But it can't be done milord! She isn't unconscious from the fall, something else is keeping her like it, it's like someone stunned her but without a way of reversing it"

"She has only a few hours left until my ancestor fucking…", I thought aloud…she has to make a horcrux and I have a feeling she won't wake until it's too late…someone has made her stay like this!

"Fix her", I finished before apparating to my study to knock back a fire whiskey, fuck, I was in deep shit.

Only an hour earlier had a house elf timidly interrupted my meeting to tell me of an incident, in the hospital wing lay _my_ woman, unconscious after apparently falling down the stairs. At first I thought it was nothing, why bother me for such a trivial thing? But seeing her not wake up, I became worried.

"Milord you called?", Severus apparated in front of me urgently.

"My wife will not wake and all she did was fall down some stairs! Tell me why she is not waking!", I demanded angrily

"Milord, she is so close to being cursed by Slytherin ancient spell, that I believe she won't be waking anytime soon. She will awaken when the curse begins, I'm sorry milord. The choice is that we hope that she will be convinced to make a horcrux when she is in that state or I recommend you order an emergency caesarean on her, she can't be saved but they can…"

"No, there must be another choice, I am not having my children born so premature that they may die or end up with disability! And don't _ever_ even think about my wife dying or I shall curse you into oblivion", I fiercely stated, I was in a very angry mood and was ready to kill.

"Apologies milord, but that is the only choices there are. Your wife is strong, she may be more willing to create a horcrux during the course of the curse but she has a week, I'm jut thinking of the risks involved"

"it's a risk I'm willing to take", I replied truthfully, "she will awaken when the curse begins-it's obvious that this would happen…"

"Milord, to keep the children safe I believe we should charm her so she doesn't know or see she is pregnant, I'm sorry milord but I have no idea what she will feel about being pregnant when she awakens"

"Do it then, I already have a charm on her so she can't feel the bump, it annoyed me seeing her struggle with everyday things…"

"Thank you milord"

"see to it that I'm informed when she awakens", I finished without awaiting a reply before apparating far away…

...

Darkness. That is all I can see, my eyes are closed and unwilling to open. The voice that surrounded me earlier faded and are gone, I'm alone.  
What is going to happen to me? I want to cry but I can't, I just feel things getting darker and darker as if I will never awaken…  
Why won't Voldemort…Tom help me? I call for him but he can't hear.

Green light.

(Change, minutes later)

Green light.

I gasp as I sit up suddenly and open my eyes wide as I look down at myself, looking at hands…my hands, touching my body…this is mine? I  
Where am I? I don't even know who I am…but I'm not weak, oh no…I can feel strength in blood being pumped round my body.

"Hermione-I mean, milady, you're awake!", a surprised voice says from a desk over in the corner of the room I was in. Is that my name then? I like it…  
"Milady, I must inform the dark lord at once"

"No, I don't think so…Avada kedavra!", I curse the woman-I suspect who is a healer, to the ground.  
Slipping out of the hospital bed, I walked slowly over to the frail corpse of the old witch and couldn't help but smirk, "such a pity…"

...

"Milord, milord! Koffy just sees miss k-kill healer!", a house elf apparated to my side suddenly. "Milord!"

"I hear you. Where is she?"

"Koffy knows nothing, miss isn't miss anymore!", it cried. After a moment of almost torturing the thing for annoying me, I knew I had to do _something_, anything to help Hermione.

...

What sort of wizard places a witch in some skimpy black night dress when she is in a hospital? Whoever this guy was, he was already angering me…just little things annoyed me about him even though I hadn't even met him before.

"What are you doing here-", some wizard I sort of felt like I recognised almost walked into me in the first floor hallway. "-oh, I trust you are well?"

"I've never been better", I replied coldly, but confused as I felt I recognised the wizards longish black hair and hook nose. "You are Severus Snape, Minister of Magic and former potions master at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry", I smirked as he nodded, its strange knowing things without actually knowing how.

"Are you looking for the dark lord?", he raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Everyone I have come across so far has mentioned a 'dark lord', I'll keep you alive as I think I know you and I know you know whoever he is, tell him I'll be seeing him sometime soon", I growled before lowering my eyes to his wand held tightly in his right hand, "I have places to be".

"I'm sure you do"

"I'd clean up the mess downstairs if I was you", I laughed before disaparating to a random location.  
I didn't question how I knew where places were or who people were-everything was printed inside my mind even though I had no memories before waking up in the hospital. I just knew I had to hurt people, kill those who shouldn't live, and I needed power and knowledge…

"St Pancras, London", I stated as I apparated into a recognisable place filled with strangers.

...

"the headlines tomorrow are going to be 'Massacre in muggle London' milord", Lucius mentioned briefly pissing me off a lot, getting himself a touch of the cruciatus. After his screams faded I was able to concentrate again.

"I want it all covered up, see to it that it is done...someone", I was stressed as I sat around a large table seated with _all_ my deatheaters-quite a few when included with my inner circle also. I wasn't stressed that she was on a murderous spree-in fact it made me proud, it was the fact the curse making her do it would kill her unless I convinced her to create a horcrux.  
"Snape informs me she wants to see me at some point, I don't want that, I want to be the one who sees her not the other way round. She hasn't left London and I don't believe she has any plans to leave the country at all, she will only go places she has been in the past-…"

"Milord, May I ask why our lady is acting so unlike herself?"

"You may ask, I have no intention in answering though. She may leave the country to go to France, she stayed in a village for a while there but I don't believe she will stay long, there is nothing much there to my knowledge"

"I want death eaters scattered around England as well as Hogwarts and Hogsmeade in Scotland. Do not try to approach her unless you are asking for a death sentence, just inform me straight away. I want all of you to make sure everything else in the country is working smoothly but make sure you are on the lookout as well. Whoever gives me her location first will be rewarded greatly", that got their attention more.  
"What are you waiting for?", I sighed while leaning back into my seat, a sudden dash of wizards left me alone with just Snape for company.

"She's only killing muggles and mudbloods milord, though she has killed a few half bloods if they get in the way of anything according to reports from various sources"

"That's all she knows, he curse makes her believe that she is made to rid the world of things that don't belong…she won't touch a pureblood at all unless she the pureblood begins combat. Ive done my research Severus"

"I believe she will appreciate it when she's better milord, she loves you so much its quite unbelievable looking at how she was when she first met you"

"Ah yes, unexpected things always happen. Onto more important matters, I haven't tried forcing her to meet using our binding charm because I was unsure if it work or not"

" I think it may just work milord, but I don't think it would be wise to let her know she is bound to you"

"You are correct, I shall do it at nightfall, she must sleep! Go back to the ministry to make sure things are ok there then go get some rest, if you overwork yourself you will be useless"

"Thank you milord, as soon as you need me I will be here"

"Good, I'm grateful how well you have performed lately Severus"

"Thank you milord…I forgot to mention, Narcissa is divorcing Lucius"

"He failed to mention it…very well, I see she is happier with you anyway. If I told you this when I first won the war, you would believe I was mad, though I hope you understand how certain things have changed about me"

"I had noticed milord"

"Good, she hasn't changed me, I just prefer being in love with her than hating her"

"I know milord, though love can be tricky. I will leave then", he finished before disaparating to the ministry.

"Why couldn't you have been interested in killing people before!", I groaned with a fire whiskey in my hand as I walked to the bedroom, "the only one who gets to decide my wife's fate is me! Lord Voldemort!"

"You are quite big headed", I heard a familiar females voice say in front of me by the door of the bedroom yet there was no one there.

"Show yourself"

"Fine", she whispered silkily, I had her up against the wall before she even finished removing the invisibility charm on her. She giggled as I locked my hands on her arms so she couldn't move and wore a smirk she never usually wore before.

"You are the dark lord I take it?"

"Yes Hermione"

"You know me, that's good…", it didn't sound like her at all, the way she spoke.

"Aren't you supposed to be out killing the unworthy?"

"I told Severus Snape that I would come to meet you as apparently you rule everyone. Though I don't know you, we've never met. I know everyone else's names who I have supposedly met in the past, but I have no idea who you are, I only know you are the dark lord by how everyone addresses you", she stated confused in tone.

"You don't know who I am?"

"I just said that didn't I. Now unhand me before I blast away your hands", she threatened casually but fiercely at the same time. I let go of her arms but dragged her into the bedroom and locked the door so she couldn't escape, I had already placed anti-disaparation charms around the room.  
"Tell me who you are and why I was in your hospital"

"I am lord Voldemort, that is all you need to know Hermione, you will not be leaving this room until further notice-"

"-Crucio!", she cursed me causing me pain but I didn't flinch. "You are a powerful wizard…why would a dark wizard such as yourself want to stop me?", she sat gracefully on the end of the bed

"I have my reasons, I am surprised at you. You come to my home, and just want to talk"

"I came here to see the dark lord himself-you have the same mark as me", she whispered as she noticed me and her shared the same mark on our arms, the mark I gave both of us to show commitment. She stood up again to touch my arm and feel around the mark.  
"I still don't know who you are, but I would like to know why I have the same mark as you…tell me who you are", she demanded darkly.

"You should work on that attitude…I am Lord Voldemort, birth name Tom Riddle, last living descendant on Salazar Slytherin and the only living heir", I stated, "ring any bells?"

"No"

How did she remember everyone else she had met and not me?

"You will surrender or I shall kill you, make your mind up"

"I should kill you, but you are a descendent of my master, technically making you my master also. I won't follow your orders though, I belong to no one. But there is nothing I like more though than torturing a wizard who believes he is superior to me, you are unaffected by the curse though"

"We shall duel _milady_, to find who is superior then", I told my wife who had only thoughts for darkness-my perfect woman, just it wasn't Hermione really. I only wanted Hermione

"Very well _milord_", she smirked, fully ready for some dark fun.

...

"How long have I been kicking your arse?", I smirked as I hit him with a cruciatus curse again.

"I don't reflect that curse because it does not affect me in anyway, though you are quite good", he replied fiercely with a cut lip, "and I have done more damage to you than vice versa"

"I give you a cut lip and you give me a cut going from my forehead to my cheek-barely any damage from either of us"

"you are correct, though you have caused some mess in my room", he mentioned as I looked around. He was right, the room was trashed.

"petrificus totalus!", he shouted suddenly, and I was frozen. Fucking bastard, my body fell to the floor with a painful thud as I saw him stand over me. "You were a good dueller though you were never going to win, I am lord Voldemort. You don't know who you are, just that you were made to kill. I have a proposition for you…my followers will be here soon and I will have to kill you before their eyes. Unless you create something to stop that happening. Have you ever heard of a horcrux?". I stared blankly at him, wanting to murder him and cause him pain, "oh yes, you can't can you"

He released the spell leaving me very annoyed and angry, "I will kill you if you try that again!", lifting my back so I was half-seated on the floor watching him.

"But you can't, though I can kill you with a flick of my wand", he growled, "I have a proposition; you may leave and do as you wish and I won't kill you-if, if you create a horcrux so you cannot die"

"Why would you want me to create something that keeps myself alive!"

"I have my reasons. It's your choice, I will let you go, I will even do an unbreakable handshake to prove it. But I believe you know I'm not lying, you know your master would not lie to you", he leaned over.

"You are not my master, I serve Salazar Slytherin, I do his bidding and no one else's", I spat robotically, that's all I knew in my mind.

"I'm not ordering you to do anything, but I know you would prefer to live and do as you wish with the advantage of not being able to die-than dying"

"I know what a horcrux is, I fail to see why you would want me to create one", I eyed his wand still pointing at me.

"I don't want to risk the life of the servant of my ancestor, you are important but I would have to kill you if any of my followers saw me with you, I wouldn't want to look weak…if you create a horcrux then if by chance I have to kill you, you just won't die. I win and so do you, or just I win, your choice"

"my ancestor would want me to do it, you are of the blood of my master, I trust you only on that level. I will do it…if you answer why I have the same mark as you"

"I shall tell you when you do the horcrux", he growled. At least he was a strong man, quite dominating-my sort of man when he knew of my magic. "Do you accept my offer then?"

"Yes, I know how to do it"

"there are prisoners in the dungeons downstairs-I trust you know where it is as you have already investigated my home. Take your pick…kills whoever and complete the horcrux"

"what should I use to hold it?"

"Take this", he threw a locket with a snake on the front, it looked similar to something I had seen before.

...

"You may stay here if you wish, though you may leave at any time, you need to rest", I told Hermione a few hours later after she told me she had created a horcrux and left the corpse of a prisoner in the dungeons for proof. The horcrux was now in my pocket, safe for now.

"I also need to kill", she retaliated

"I'm not stopping you"

"good, because I wouldn't want to see you try", she threatened with a smirk, she still hadn't cleaned up the gash I had caused going down her face but I thought best not to remind her. "I might come back".

She didn't come back for days; no one had seen her though she had caused a lot of trouble, experimenting with many ancient dark magic books, causing devastation on her way etc…

I was stuck. It was the day she was supposed to be killed by the curse and I heard no news from or about her. I watched the clock, waiting…would the horcrux work? Did she even create one or did she just lie! I had no idea but all I could do was wait. My love could be dying and I don't know.

"Milord you are needed urgently!", Lucius barged into my study as I waited, "It's Hermione"

"where is she" 


	26. Half soul

_atI know I may be young, but I've got feelings too.  
And I need to do what I feel like doing.  
So let me go and just listen.  
-Britney Spears-Slave for you_

...

Once again I was in the hospital wing, watching my woman being prodded and tested by a couple of healers, this is humiliating! The wife of the dark lord should not be looking so weak! I made sure only two healers were present as well as Snape.

"Her heart rate is slowing at a fast rate milord", Snape told me as I arrived, "the curse is doing as it should, killing her slowly over a few hours"

"What the fuck have you done to me you son of a bitch!", Hermione growled weakly on the bed, she kept slipping in and out of consciousness and was still under the curse.

"Snape, why is she being affected if she can't die!", I demanded while ignoring Hermione

"because she is still under the curse. The horcrux will just stop her dying at the end and hopefully she will be back to normal…that is…if she did make one?", he raised an eyebrow

"Of course she…", I spun round to Hermione and lowered my voice so only she could hear, "You did make the horcrux didn't you?", she just smirked back.  
"I'm being serious Hermione, if you did not make it, you are going to die"

"It doesn't bother me, I have served my master and if I'm meant to die then I shall. If I find out you have done this to me though, you are the one who is going to die!"

"You stupid fool! Did you or did you not create the horcrux?"

"I can't remember, you see I have no memory of anything I have done during this week, I just remember the people I have met", she laughed, "I have no idea what you are talking about when you speak of me creating a horcrux. You better cross your fingers for luck", she added sarcastically.

"I need to kill someone", I threatened before calming down. "I'm removing the pregnancy charm", I stated before flicking my wand and watching her eyes widen as she saw her very big pregnancy bump.

"What the hell!"

"You see Hermione, you better have created this horcrux for the sake of our children's lives, and that's not even counting you!"

"Our?"

"Yes our children! Now don't fucking die!"

"Why do you care of my health? I have done what I was supposed to do, cause some chaos and now I'm done. You call me Hermione, I'm not her, I _was_ her apparently-", she cut off as she drifted into unconsciousness again, this time her heart rate slowing even more.

"She's dying", I said stunned, I couldn't even think straight. The only person in my life I had ever cared for, the only person I had ever loved…was dying before my eyes.  
"Fuck"

"Milord I pray that you stay calm", Severus whispered as her condition began to deteriate fast. "This is the last chance you have to allow a caesarean"

"No. she is going to live and she is going to give birth properly", I said, I wouldn't allow it.

...

Five hours later.

"Don't die on me now", Voldemort ordered Hermione as he held her in his arms tight as her life began draining away, "please…", he whispered in her ear sadly. He couldn't believe how much emotion he was feeling as the one woman in his life he had ever cared for, was dying.

The life monitor machine she was connected to let out a beep, similar to a muggle one, pronouncing her gone.

"No!", he shouted angrily to her, Snape and the healers in the room knew best to leave quickly, and they were alone.  
"Wake up", he whispered, "Wake up! Just wake up! I order you to!", his voice getting more and more urgent as he tried to shake her.  
"Please…Hermione I love you, I need you, I can't lose you…", he gasped, he had never felt emotion like he was feeling as he held her in his arms. "Why the fuck didn't you create the horcrux! I don't know how im supposed to live without you Hermione", he whispered with closed eyes.  
His heart was thumping against his chest as he couldn't let go of her in silence, that's when he noticed something.  
His heartbeat was irregular, thumping twice as much as usual.  
It wasn't his heart beat.  
The life support machine was making sounds.

"it's a good thing I created a horcrux then Tom", he heard a faint voice he was oh so familiar with, placing Hermione's body back on the pillow and believing he was hearing things, she let out a deep and long breath as her eyes opened wide.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?", she smiled weakly with a look of confusion, answering as if she had just been asleep the whole time.

"You…you…"

"I can't remember anything I did during the week", she whispered,

"It's ok…If you ever even think of leaving me again like this I will kill a lot of people!"

"I'll remember that", she chuckled before falling to sleep.

He sat there, stunned.  
"What the fuck has just happened", he gasped.

Voldemort sat staring at his wife, playing with the curls surrounding her head like a halo, remembering her rosy lips as she kissed his, her skin still mildly warm as he could almost still feel how they made love so many times in the past…  
It wasn't over. She was still his and he hadn't lost her.

...

You're in shock, I told myself as I sat by Hermione's side with a muggle whisky in my hand. I had spent the last week worried sick about would she survive or not and then she dies…my whole world crumbed unexpectedly…  
And then she wakes up.  
Just like that.  
Am I angry? Yes.  
Why? Because I felt weak.  
Aren't you happy you have your wife back? Yes of course-oh fuck off! I threw my drink at the opposite wall out of anger of being interrogated by myself in my head!

I had sat by her side for hours, I didn't realise before this how much I needed her in my life.  
How the fuck did I survive without her before?

"Tom?", I heard her whisper as she came round, I liked her calling me by my muggle name, it just made me appreciate her more that she called me something no one else was allowed to. I shouldn't have been angry with her in the past for calling me it.

"Hermione you must rest, you had your life sucked out of you almost completely, you are weak"

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"Making you feel dreadful"

"Shh its ok", he placed a finger on her lips, "I forgive you for anything you may have made me feel. Are you too weak to talk?"

"I don't think so-wait, are the babies ok!", she sat up quickly

"Yes, yes. I refused to have a caesarean on you, they survived and are still well inside of you", I assured her as she felt her bump with a smile.

"Thank you", she said while pushing herself carefully to the back of the bed to lean on.

"Do you remember anything from your week?"

"No I don't, I just remember a green light and then nothing, I just remember waking to see you"

"How do you remember the horcrux then?"

"I said I didn't remember anything I did while under the curse…I created the horcrux before", she revealed with a sigh.

"You what?", I raised an eyebrow, "but you told me you would have nothing to do with it. And how the hell did you do it!"

"I wasn't going too, but then I realised I couldn't risk my babies lives, so I created the horcrux. I-I created the horcrux after talking to Snape, before shouting at you in the middle of your meeting…I was angry, but I knew I had to do it...I'm sorry. I did some research in your library months ago about it, you have plenty of books on the subject…I killed some old person in your dungeon; one who I believed was going to die soon anyway. I wouldn't think you would notice, him being a muggle and unimportant, probably in the dungeon for some minor crime. I transfigured the body into a twig and left it, after I created the horcrux of course…I felt dreadful, like my soul was being ripped up…", she began to get tearful as I held her hand tight.

"I can't believe you did something so dark with your own mind, I love how you surprise me. You are weak, I want you to rest", I moved her back to a lying position while ignoring her protests

"I'm not weak!", she growled, "...my horcrux is in the rose you gave me, the one that doesn't die…I just wanted to make sure if anything ever happens i will remember how much i love you"

"You are being very sweet for someone who has just gone through so much", I told her affectionately, I appreciated her so much now.

"I would hope so, I must have been a burden for you"

"Not at all, in fact you did quite a lot of stuff that was good for me just did a lot of damage"

"what did I do?"

"Killed dozens, tortured many, you even got round to attacking a few of my followers", her eyes widened as I saw she tried to remember but couldn't.

"No! I didn't! No! Please…", she cried, "I don't do them sort of things! That's the only thing I can't stand about you and now I find out I'm just as bad!"

"No you are nowhere as near as dark as I am, but I did enjoy seeing you like it…forget about it. I will keep the rose with your horcrux in safe, don't you feel different now?"

"Yes. I feel different, not bad different or good different. What are you sniggering about?", she asked angrily as I started to chuckle.

"Nothing. Just you remind me of myself when I created my first horcrux, I felt different also. I loved it"

"That was you, this is me. Wait…did you convince me to create a horcrux when I was under the curse?"

"Yes, and you accepted it and said you did it. I don't know if you were telling the truth", I admitted

"Use legilmency on me. Please, I need to know, I can't remember, but you can unlock it in my mind. I have nothing to hide from you; if I did you would have found it by now inside me"

"Are you sure? I know you hate this sort of thing", she nodded after I asked to make sure she was ok with it.

I scanned her mind as she kept still, letting me in as best she could, finally I found it after a moment of searching, hidden in a forgotten place in her mind.  
_Hermione stood in a muggle street, casting the killing curse on a passer by.  
Wiping a speck of blood off of her face, it was not her own.  
Duelling me with a smirk on her face, receiving the cut along her face from me.  
Killing someone in the dungeon-_

"Stop!", she cried, "please I didn't do them murders!"

I ignored her; I had to carry on now.

I found what I was looking for and pulled myself out her mind.

"It's ok, your soul is just in two parts, it seems you didn't trust me"

"_Just_? You talk as if it's not a big deal!"

"At least you're only in two rather than three"

"fair point", she smiled, "thank you for everything Tom, if you hadn't of convinced me about the horcruxes before I was affected by the curse, I would be dead. I owe you"

"I owe you a lot also. We are even"

"Good enough for me"

"now rest, you have been under a dark curse, died and fainted. As well as mucked up my emotions!"

"Ive apologised", she laughed.

"I love you"

...

What have I become?

The perfection the dark lord always wanted?

I have killed, tortured…destroyed lives. I have even committed one of the darkest things; I have created a horcrux without the influence of any curse. Even the cursed me didn't do it!  
What's wrong with me?

I sat tearful in my hospital bed two days after I had awoken going over my thoughts. Voldemort-well, Tom, made me get better gradually and I was bored, left only to think.

Am I evil?

"No you aren't", Tom replied to the question using legilmency

"You should give me warning in future when you come here, then maybe I can prevent you reading my mind every minute"

"I'm just saying you aren't evil, trust me on that. Are you feeling better?"

"I felt better yesterday, but still I'm stuck in here! Cant I leave?"

"Well you can come up to our chambers if you so wish, you aren't leaving the building though"

"I wouldn't any way. Everything sees me as some evil mass murdering bitch"

"No they don't, it's all been sorted, no one knows you had any involvement in anything"

"Except me! I know I committed those horrendous crimes!"

"Then you must forgive yourself. It wasn't you who committed those crimes, not you really"

"I guess not…I only have a short while before I give birth…I'm going to miss being pregnant"

"But you will have two beautiful children at the end, and you can finally do things you can't do while pregnant"

"Yes you are correct. Do you think we will have boys or girls?"

"I would want boys, girls would probably end up more interested in your sort of things-I would like boys to work with me when they are older"

"That's their decision, not yours", I said darkly, he knew I wouldn't allow him to pressurise our children, they could do what they wished.

...

Two weeks later.

"I am bored with being pregnant!", she moaned in Hogsmeade village on a bench outside The Three Broomsticks, it was very quiet, very few were walking around. I chuckled as she rambled, "I can't do anything, it's like im incapable of doing anything! I can't even walk without toddling! It's a boiling hot summer and I have what feels like a tonne of weight stuck to the front of me-", I silenced her with a kiss on the lips.

"Just a fortnight ago you didn't want pregnancy to end"

"Ah, I don't know", she sulked as I put an arm around her.

"I get to name the oldest don't I?"

"Yes, seeing as you are the dark lord who gets what he wants", she smirked, "good. I haven't really thought much about names, but I have an idea or two…"

"surprise me on the day"

"I shall", I stroked her dark mark on her arm affectionately, "my lady, would you give me the pleasure of staying safe while I visit the ministry"

"You are letting me stay out on my own?", she said confused

"You sound like im your parent. Of course not, you will have Draco looking after you"

"Oh great", she rolled her eyes, "I hear he is as deadly as his father now"

"He has…learnt a lot since you last met. He hates his father still though"

"Milord", Draco apparated and bowed before me.

"Good, on time. You know what to do, and the punishment if anything happens to her"

"Of course milord", he replied politely.

"Good, stay in Hogsmeade, or return her to her chambers if she so asks"

"Yes milord"

"Hermione, I have to go as you know, but I'll be back in a few hours for you"

"Fine", she said curtly, "bye"

...

"Come on then milady, what do you want to do?", Draco asked rudely with a roll to his eyes.

"You are boring, I wanted a day out with my husband and I ended up with you"

"You are even more boring, I wanted a day in with a whore from the brothel and I ended up with you"

"Oh I'm sorry", I muttered sarcastically, "if you stopped worrying about your dick then maybe you wouldn't be given the job of 'babysitting' like you are thinking-"

"How dare you use legilmency on me!", he went to slap me but stopped mid-air.

"So this is how you treat girls these days. You seem just like your father"

"I'm nothing like my father!", he growled while lowering his hand. He had changed, he was still the good looking bastard I knew before, but now he seemed different, like he had experienced more.

"I didn't see you that long ago, you have changed a lot though"

"I haven't, I just care less for killing people these days. I don't abuse woman like you are thinking"

"I doubt that"

"think what you wish, I apologise for raising my hand, and I don't usually do it. I just see you as annoying Gryffindor golden girl who just wishes to piss me off. I'm sorry…I don't raise my hand to woman, I'm not my father"

"it's okay, I'm sorry also. You just seem different to what you were, you have matured a lot though"

"I had too. Anyway, how's life?", he asked sitting next to me.

"Ok I guess, I'm so bored with being pregnant though. I miss duelling the dark lord"

"duelling? I'm surprised, I thought you were against all that"

"yeah I am, but I just realise now how much I enjoyed battling my husband. It was nice to show him I'm not weak, like I feel now, weak and useless. Being pregnant leaves me unable to even defend myself as much as I could before!"

"nah, you are good at all that sort of stuff-as much as I hate to admit it…I still feel bad about raising my hand just now, it's unlike me!", he sighed

"Don't worry about it, you aren't like your father…and I guess seeing as I've slapped you Merlin knows how many times…it's okay"

"and you have a good slap! If all fails with your magic in battle, you can still whack someone quite hard", he joked making me laugh.  
"I bet you like pregnancy really, if anything it makes you even prettier than you already were"

"That was unexpected from you Draco, but thank you", I beamed

"You were always good looking, I just hated mudboods when you were at school"

"You like muggleborns now then?"

"Not particularly, I'm just saying they aren't as bad as I was brainwashed to think before"

"Good"

"You are due soon aren't you?"

"Still over a month, but I guess not too far. I'd rather give birth sooner than later, the sooner I get to hold my twins for the first time, the better"

"You are going to give birth to the children of the darkest man who ever lived, do you reckon they will be like him?", he asked curiously.

"I'm not sure, more than likely probably. But the dark lord has agreed to not involve them in anything until they are of age, Slytherins for sure though"

"Strong blood in a strong house, its perfect. May I…never mind"

"what?"

"I was just going to ask if I could feel, but it's not the sort of thing I believe the dark lord would like"

"You can if you like", I smiled, when he didn't and looked down with hesitation I took his hand and placed it on top of my bump.

"Wow, you have people living inside of you", he murmured with a grin,

"That's what usually happens during pregnancy", I laughed, "I would never have thought when I was younger that Draco Malfoy would be feeling my baby bump"

"It's nice though. Do you want to go for a drink now? Butterbeer on me? I'm supposed to protect you and I'm thirsty"

"Sure, is quiet today so I shouldn't be getting any stares, now I know how Harry must have felt…"

"Whatever…", he cursed Harry under his breath before offering to help me up, "take my hand?"

"Thanks", I took it as he helped me up with one hand on my own and the other around my back.

"You ok then, I won't be getting any grief from the dark lord for touching his wife or anything? Good-", he cut off and stood back with a weird look as he looked down. "Hermione…I think your waters just broke"


	27. A New Era

_For one so small,  
you seem so strong  
My arms will hold you,  
keep you safe and warm  
This bond between us  
can't be broken  
I will be here  
Don't you cry_

'Cause you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more  
You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here  
in my heart always  
Always  
-You'll be in my heart-Phil Collins, Tarzan soundtrack

...

"Shit, shit, shit!", Draco gasped as I felt my first contraptions.

"Don't just stand there! Help me!", I cried trying to keep my breathing steady, I was in labour weeks early!

"Right, right!", he snapped back to reality, "side along apparition or portkey?"

"I don't care! Either!", he held me before apparating us. Already feeling nauseas, the apparition didn't help but I sighed in relief as we arrived in the hospital wing at home.

"We have a pregnant lady in labour here!", Draco shouted, it actually made me laugh the situation I was in, though it wasn't that funny-it actually was. As the healers quickly got me onto the bed and cast all the necessary spells needed, I could feel another contraption.

"Get the fucking father of my babies here right now!", I screamed causing Draco to apparate again, supposedly to the ministry, "how long till its time?".

"It's hard to tell at this stage"

"Oh, where the hell is the dark lord? He's supposed to be here!"

"Mr Malfoy Junior, has gone to get him, he won't be long. You need to stay relaxed and calm milady", one of the healers assured me, "just take deep breathes and things will be okay"

"He better hurry! I'm not giving birth until he is here!"

"I'm afraid that is for the babies to decide, for once the dark lord cant be in control of what happens"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!", I cried a few minutes later as I felt another contraption, "…I swear they aren't supposed to be this painful so soon!"

"It's different for every woman, it's fine…"

"Oh my god, I'm going to be a mum", I gasped tearfully but with a smile, "but what if I am a terrible mother! I don't know if I know enough!"

"You will be fine", the healer smiled, "and you have all the support you would ever need"

"I know, and thank you-", I squinted my eyes shut as I felt yet another contraption, the pain was getting more and more painful, I thought labour shouldn't hurt as much as this did!  
"Oh my god, it's getting worse! I thought labour got worse gradually not all the pain straight away!"

It was only an hour later, where Tom still hadn't arrived and the healer checked me over.

"I think maybe the babies will be coming sooner than expected…", the healer announced after a moment checking me,

"what!"

"You are having a quick labour-it's extremely unusual for a first time pregnancy, especially with twins, but it seems they want to be out"

"Oh, where is he! I need him here with me!", tears fell down my cheeks. I couldn't give birth without Tom there with me. "Oh my, please it hurts so much!"

"There is no spell to make you stop feeling the pains of childbirth, I can only make you more comfortable"

"I can cope with cruciatus but can't cope with this!", I said through clenched teeth, "what the hell!"

"the cruciatus is magic whilst child birth is natural-of course the pain is different and is much harder to avoid"

"Oh I can feel another one coming!", I couldn't help what I was saying as I was in pain, "where the fuck is that bastard husband of mine!",

"That bastard husband of yours is here", Tom apparated into the room holding my hand tight, "I leave you for five minutes with Draco and this happens! It's like you can't live without me!"

"Keep the sarcasm for later before I torture you till you are begging for me to let you go!", I growled

"that's the woman I love!", he laughed and kissed my forehead, "she is due very soon then?"

"Very, unusually quick considering. I think you will have to begin to push soon"

"what, so soon!"

"My babies are so willing to see my world, be held in their mother's arms-", I cut off his sentence by grabbing his neck tight.

"You never have sex with me again or you can try being pregnant the next time!", I screamed before letting go while covered in sweat, "I was only in Hogsmeade a little while ago talking! How the fuck have I got here so soon!"

"Breathe!", he ordered me while holding my hand tight, "I will forgive you for your attitude because you are in labour-"

"-I don't give a damn what you think of my fucking attitude!", he rolled his eyes before I almost crushed his hand as I felt the severe pain again, "oh! Why the hell did you do this to me! You are never touching me again!", I shouted uncontrollably, but it was easing the pain by threatening the dark lord.

"It's time. Hermione, I know it's much quicker than we anticipated earlier but it can't be helped, you are going to have to push"

I did. I pushed as hard as I could before stopping out of the pure pain I felt, "please I can't!"

"You can Hermione", Tom whispered

"You do it for me then!", I cried

"I wish I could", he laughed, "come on".

...

I almost fainted as she gave birth to my first child.

"It's a boy!", the healer smiled, "congratulations!"

Hermione smiled through her exhaustion as I looked on ecstatically

"looks like I get to name a boy after all", I grinned, but I didn't have time to see the baby as Hermione was still in labour with the next one.

"Please, cant I have a break I've already done it haven't I!"

"Come on Hermione, one more baby and then you have created our family"

That motivated her to get her strength back.

Fifteen minutes and one crushed hand, she lay panting on her bed and was drenched in sweat-though she never looked more beautiful in my eyes.  
I watched breathlessly as she was given our first born son, and waited as the healers made the standard checks over the second twin.

"Congratulations, it looks like you have a girl and a boy", the healer said happily as she passed me the baby girl, my baby girl. "Everyone is healthy, I just advice our lady that she gets some rest after seeing to her newborn. We shall leave to give you some time alone"

"Oh my god", I she gasped as she admired our son and daughter as I handed the girl over so she could hold both together, "they are ours! They are so beautiful and we have one of each gender!"

"They would of course be beautiful with a beautiful mother", I stroked her hair, "you have done so well, I love you so much, I love our children so much"

"they are so peaceful, they aren't crying or making a sound, just lying in my arms, sleeping. I-I can't believe they were inside of me"

"yes they was and look at them now. What have you named our daughter-", I cut off and stopped as realisation hit me, "-shit"

"what?"

"I'm a father…"

...

"Don't faint please", i laughed, "Yes, and you will be a great one"

"And you a mother"

"I'm so tired. What have you named our son seeing as you insisted in naming the eldest, I bet you believe as it's a boy and he is eldest he will be the most powerful…never mind, what is he called?", I asked excitedly as Tom took our boy into his arms while beaming.

"He is called Phoenix", he carried on as I raised my eyebrows, "I chose it for many reasons though it is obvious why you are surprised, as it seem very 'Gryffindor'. I wanted my son to have a name with meaning of power, a bird that is immortal-being immortal is the ultimate power, and the meaning of the name itself: 'dark/blood red'…and also I like the name", he added.

"I like it also", I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek, "you really want to show your power don't you…well then I guess you wish to know the name of Phoenix's sister. Her name is Ava-Ceres, I have had the first part picked out since I was a child and although I promised you it wouldn't be too common, I tried my best, and the second part…well, I thought having the name of a goddess in her name you would like, being all mighty and powerful"

"I like it, she will have your brains I can tell"

"And can you tell he will have your power"

"of course"

"Thank you, I love you"

"I love you more"

"that's impossible", he grinned as he sat next to me as we held our children together. "Thank you Hermione, if it wasn't for you…I-I would be on my own. Look at everything you have given me-", he cut off as Ava started to cry, "Looks like we are going to have some long nights ahead of us"

"it's worth it"

"and if I remember correctly, you promised me the night of my life…"

"I forgot you never forget, all in good time", I lay my head on his shoulder as I realised we were now a family.

...

"Oh I have missed this", she breathed under my body a few days later. I smirked before entering her, making her gasp in pleasure, she stroked my body as I thrust into her, heaven.  
"Fuck"

"a lady shouldn't use such language"

"and a good lord shouldn't cause pain for pleasure", she smirked back,

"it's a good thing I'm the _dark_ lord then", she moaned in pleasure causing me to already feel on the verge of climaxing. It felt like so long and she was so pleasurable…I couldn't help it so soon.

Minutes later she lay in my arms with our legs tangled breathing heavily.  
"Sorry I couldn't last long…"

"it doesn't make a difference how long it is, it's the quality, and that was one the most amazing times I've ever been with you…", I kissed her hair as she lay back onto me, ready to fall asleep but the sound of crying prevented that, "seems like I'm going to go from dark lord to an average father"

"you sleep, I'll see to them"

"no you sleep, you have been doing it most days and so you deserve the break. Sleep well, we will introduce our family to the world in a few weeks"

"As long as I don't witness any dark magic, I look forward to it", she smiled.

...

"They are the cutest babies I have ever seen!", Narcissa looked down into the cot they lay in, in the great hall, Tom had seen to it that the world were properly introduced to his own when they had developed a little, now they lay before my eyes at a month old. I had already made it clear to him that no dark magic was to be performed before their eyes until they were old enough to understand what was right and wrong. He agreed.  
"Phoenix and Ava-Ceres, the children of the dark lord and lady. They will be quite popular at school when they are older"

"Slytherins as well with their fathers blood. They are just so perfect, I can't believe how much love I feel for them"

"I know the feeling"

"Have you told them our news?", Snape asked Narcissa, he hadn't said much by her side, but it was clear now they were a couple.

"No? What news?", i asked curiously. I watched as she smiled up at him and kissed him on the lips, before turning back to me.

"I'm pregnant milady", she beamed.

"Oh, congratulations!", i gasped and gave her a hug, "how far along? I wondered why you were wearing rather baggy robes compared to your normally fitted ones"

"Five months, i have a small bump but i rather it hushed up for now, sorry i didn't tell you sooner"

"It's fine! Congratulations! And to you Severus, my old potions teacher", i smirked

"Thank you, i appreciate that. The dark lord has known for a while now, before even me though, but you know he knows everything"

"Always", i smiled, "so any marriage plans for future?"

"Well..."

"erm..."

"You two are great together, and Draco will like having a younger sibling"

"That reminds me, Draco wants to see the twins, we will leave you for a moment", I nodded as Draco came over when they left. He looked down at them with an unreadable expression before smiling.

"Well who would have thought I would have been there when you went into labour"

"I never got round to thanking you, so here it is: thank you Draco, you were brilliant that day"

"Thanks. They are adorable", I laughed, "what!"

"It's just funny to hear you think something is adorable"

"I'm not some cold hearted freak you know!", he grinned, "and while I'm at it, you look stunning, especially for a woman who has given birth only a month ago!"

"Draco, you surprise me how much you have changed, thanks"

"Can I hold one?"

"Of course, take Phoenix as he's less likely to cry or anything. Ava-Ceres seems to be the loud one even at such a young age, I'll hold her", I lifted Phoenix and gently placed him in Draco's arms where he stayed sound asleep and snuggled into his arms like they were his bed. I lifted Ava who woke up who didn't cry but made a cute 'ah' sound.

"I want one"

"Aw you are too cute Draco"

"I know", he joked, "Have you chosen their godparents yet?"

"Yes I have actually, not really a godparent…but similar. I chose the person especially"

"person? don't you mean people?"

"No, the dark lord doesn't want too many people connected to his children in any way. He only allowed one person to be like second guardian"

"Who is it?", Draco asked while pulling faces at Ava who look quite curious about him, as if she was trying to copy the faces he was pulling but couldn't.

"Well his name is Draco Malfoy", I smiled as Draco raised his head slowly to look at me.

"What?"

"I chose you because though I hated you for many years like you hated me, how you hurt me so much and I have slapped you a few times back…you have helped out a lot as well, especially when I went into labour with them. And well, you are a good guy really"

"oh-r-really?"

"Yes Draco"

"If you keep stuttering I may have to re think my wife's decision", Tom said by my side, he had a tendency to appear out of nowhere at random times,

"Of course milord, and I am so grateful for this!"

"Good, I wish to speak to my wife for a moment"

"Yes milord, of course…May I walk around with him?"

"As long as you keep him safe it's fine. The dark lord has unlimited amounts of charms to keep them safe, but I'm just worried about little things", I said before Tom could say no.  
"Don't worry, he is safe", I assured Tom as Draco walked around showing off Phoenix in his arms to random people.

"I know", he muttered as he put an arm around my waist. He had changed since I gave birth, he was the same with me but he seemed to change in public…he became more relaxed without being so cold and sadistic-though when he lost his temper he was just as bad, if not worse than he was before.  
"I just don't like the thought of someone other than myself or you getting close to them"

"What are you going to be like when they are older and go on dates and things"

"Well, whoever they are thinking of dating will have to be checked out by myself first-"

"-oh shut up, you are way to protective", I kissed him on the lips to show I was joking, "what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Nothing really, I just wanted to be with you"

"That's sweet-well it would be if it was true"

"fine, you can even tell when I'm lying now"

"I just know you, what's up?"

"I have sorted out a 'nanny' for the twins"

"what?"

"You have coped so well, but I think you need a break and need to live like a lady should. So I have found a nanny who comes to the standards I believe necessary-"

"-oh I don't think so. The only person who looks after my children is me or someone I decide is good enough. I never want a nanny"

"I'm only thinking of you"

"I know you are, but I can cope"

"Ok. But the moment I see you looking ill, I am getting you a nanny"

"as you wish milord…"

"You only call me your lord when you aren't too happy with me...and Voldemort when you are quite angry"

"But Tom when i am happy"

"I may have to find a pet name for you...Can I hold Ava-Ceres for a while? You should relax while you can"

"thanks", I said as he took her out of my arms, the average person would be surprised to see the dark lord act so loving to a baby, but it didn't surprise me anymore. "If she gets hungry just get me"

"I'm not exactly going to breastfeed her myself am I! Anyway, there has been a lot of interest in our children so I think I should make an announcement about them soon"

"You do that then. I will probably take them up to sleep soon, and maybe we can have a bit of fun ourselves…", I whispered in his ears seductively.

"Oh we will", he whispered back breathlessly.

"I'm going to get some air while you greet your guests", I nodded my head to the guests who were just death eaters and followers with their partners.

"Ok, I will see to the twins"

"you sound so normal"

"huh?"

"Being the dark lord you wouldn't think would talk how you do…about twins and that, I'm so glad you are how you are though. And you have learnt to keep a space between 'business' and your personal life"

"all thanks to you my love"

"…you can change her nappy while you have her"

"what?"

I laughed as I went outside to breathe.

I'm so happy.

- 


	28. Epilouge

Eleven years later.

"Tell Ava to leave me alone!", Phoenix pulled on his mothers dress on platform 9¾. His dark hair and eyes were exactly like his father's-just without the red tint. Ava came running up behind him laughing, her even darker brown hair fell to her waist in ringlets like Hermione's, they must have gotten their fathers genes as they were beautiful just as he was handsome, so she thought.  
Hermione and Tom were wrong when they guessed what they would be like, Phoenix is the quiet one with the eye for books and knowledge, whilst Ava-Ceres just wanted to cause trouble-that's the only thing that worried Hermione. She just hoped to hell Ava-Ceres wouldn't become what Tom always planned for Phoenix, seeing as he was the good child and she was the bad one. She even had the red tint to her eyes, and listened to no one but her mother and father.

"Ava, you know not to annoy your brother", Hermione sighed,

"I was only joking!"

"Well if I find you 'joking' again I will see to it that you are taken out of Hogwarts!"

"I promise I won't do it again!"

"Good. Have you got all your things?"

"Yes mum", they chanted back to her as she smiled, they were holding their luggage to begin their first year at Hogwarts, and they both even had their first owls she had bought for them only the week before with them-Snowly owls, much to the dismay of Voldemort.

"Father!", Ava-Ceres hugged Voldemort's waist as he came through the barrier, "you came to see us off!"

"I wouldn't miss this for the world. You will be home for Christmas, it seems so far away for you two but I promise you that time will go quick, make the most of it and do your best at everything"

"We will father, though Ava probably has other intentions…", Phoenix muttered.

"What do you mean?", Hermione asked curiously

"I saw her reading fathers books we aren't allowed to read, the dark ones"

"you are such a tattletale!", Ava moaned.

"They are only restricted until you are of the age you can decide what you want", Hermione told both of them, "and Ava I would rather you didn't research things you aren't ready to understand"

"But I am! You and father have horcruxes don't you...well I found out how to create them!", she grinned as Tom look proudly on.

"If I find you looking at or using any magic of any sort you know I've told you not to meddle with then you will greatly regret it!"

"Sorry mother", she sulked,

"and you _milord_ will suffer greatly as well!", Hermione threatened Voldemort.

"Ava-Ceres. I don't want to hear you have been in too much trouble but make sure you live up to the standards I expect. Phoenix, this goes to you also", Voldemort told his children

"of course father", Phoenix replied not really listening, but eyeing a few giggling girls going onto the train.

"And don't get involved with too many girls, wait till you are at least a fourth year!", Hermione recited the same words she had told him so many times. Phoenix had already found his ways to charm the woman, even at his young age.

"Can we go now!", Ava moaned

"Yes, just remember what I told you. Make me proud", Tom told her as she ran into the train with her things, Phoenix following her shortly with a roll to his eyes which made Hermione giggle.

"He reminds of me when I was his age-just I didn't have the charm", she muttered

"And she reminds me of me when I was her age-just I didn't have as much firsthand knowledge of magic at the time ", Tom admitted.

"Looks like we know what's going to happen when they are older", Tom placed his arm around her as they ignored the half a dozen death eaters around them for extra protection. "A Slytherin and a Gryffindor"

"Ava-Ceres is a Slytherin all the way, as is Phoenix, though he probably will take after you and go into Gryffindor. Good I suppose, two of our children in the same house will be too much for the school", he smirked.

"Well we have a few months to ourselves for the first time in so long, I promise I won't try to kill you"

"If I ever need to kill you I know where your horcrux is", he laughed.

"hmm, maybe I shall just practise some torturing skills on you before you get the chance"

"I love it when you talk like that"

"We must be mad", she sighed

"Probably"

"We've had a pretty good time though. I am going to miss having them around"

The train begun to move, and they walked alongside it waving as their two children waved back from separate windows in different carriages with friends they may have begun to make. As they disappeared round the corner, Hermione leaned her head in Voldemort's chest as he lowered his arm.

"They'll be alright", said Hermione.

"I know they will"

Voldemort was the same dark lord as he always was, though he kept his promise to Hermione to never do anything in front of their children till they were old enough to understand.  
Hermione put her hand over her dark mark as he placed an arm round her waist. She thought to herself what may have happened if the dark lord hadn't of won over the light, would she be as happy as she was now? If she knew she would have been thinking like this when she was in the DA, she would have probably killed herself out of madness.  
No, she was happy with her husband, just as he was happy with her.  
Never had he felt happiness before, and if he had of known when he kidnapped, tortured and made her his slave that he would someday be happy and have a family with her…he probably would have killed himself out of madness too.

Maybe she had succumbed to the darkness, but really, 'there is no good or evil, only power'. That's how she saw things.

Both Voldemort and his lady may be dark, evil, or similar.  
But they are happy.

All is well.

_Fini_

...

Some loose ends:  
-The DA continued, though not fighting the darkness, they evolved to protect those who needed protecting, and Hermione made sure that they wouldn't be punished for this by introducing laws at the ministry in her spare time when the twins were growing up.  
-Snape and Narcissa had a baby girl named Ursa after a star constellation. Phoenix has had a crush on her since they were as young as six or seven, though he doesn't like to admit that by charming other girls.  
-Lucius ended up taking over Snape's brothel and lived a comfortable life with as many girls as he wished.  
-Draco married the girl of his dreams five years after Hermione gave birth, a pure-blooded French girl who had recently graduated from Beauxbatons.  
-Ava-Ceres will grow up to be her father's biggest fan-teaching herself dark magic for years, though she does have morals-something Voldemort never seemed to have (or rarely showed).  
-Hermione and Voldemort do have ups and downs, Voldemort is still the baddy, and Hermione has shown she has some darkness in her also, though like her daughter, she has morals of course-just maybe her daughter is more like her father.

Thanks to all my loyal readers, and i hope i have not disappointed you!


End file.
